Sometimes circumstances push parents and children to be separated. Not just on your special day, but for longer periods of time. This does not mean that physical distance has to become an emotional void. Today there are more than enough resources so that an absent parent does not have to mean a real absence.
Whenever possible, you should try to maintain contact, even in a virtual way, so that the child does not forget and does not see his father as a stranger. There are ages when it will be more difficult, that is why today we will talk to you about the importance of the mother figure talking about the absent person.
The reason for the absence of a father
The reasons for the absence do not really matter, it may be because you work too much. Also, it may be because you have to constantly go on a trip or are single or separated parents and can not be as long as you want with your child. It may be that the father has to be hospitalized, or suffer from any pathology that prevents him from taking care of his child. The absence may even come from a sad death.
What is really important is that the absence of the father does not imply a lack of love on his part and that is how the child should feel it.
The importance of the mother figure
When there is the absence of the father, the mother figure takes on double importance. The mother will not only have to look after her son alone, attending to all his needs. What's more You must ensure that your child does not feel a sense of abandonment by his father figure. She will remind her son how much his father loves him, even though he is not around.
When the children are too young, she will be the one to talk to daddy's children. Also he will be the one who has to mediate the conversations with his father and interpret the words that the baby would say. Ultimately, she is in charge of telling the other party's day-to-day life, when the little ones still don't know how to express themselves.
Alternative communication routes in case of geographical separation
Today there are numerous resources to make up for absences. We no longer only communicate in the distance through the mail, now there are calls, sending multimedia files or even video calls. All this supposes an advance in the communications that influence beneficially in the filial parental contact in case of geographic distance.
Using smartphones or tablets, video calls can be made to maintain communication.
It is true that at certain ages the child will not feel the same warmth from a hug as from a video call. However, as we have already said, there comes into play the figure of Mother. She will be in charge of telling the child how much daddy loves him, how much he wants to see him and ultimately he will worry that he never forgets his father.
Cordiality as the basis of a fluid relationship
In the event of parental separation, it is vitally important to maintain a cordiality between the parents. Only then will there be a relationship, as fluid as possible on both sides, which will facilitate the child's management of all that change.
The process always becomes more complex when the couple has had a complicated relationship or breakup. As well as it can happen that there are circumstances that complicate the father's visits, for whatever reasons, and his absence is prolonged over time.
A child's perception of his father will depend on how his mother talks about him. It is up to her to make him see what it really is like.
This will only be to the detriment of the minor in the event that the mother does not ensure that her son continues to keep his father in mind. If she maintains that memory, through words, stories, photographs or videos, the child does not have to develop differently. That is why it is vitally important that If the father knows that he will be absent for periods, be the main one interested in maintaining a cordial and fluid relationship with the mother. It is essential that you treat her with respect and empathy, since she will be able to tell the child how loving and respectful his father is, with the example that he sets in that behavior.