There are all kinds of parents, just as there are all kinds of children. Some children are adventurers, they do not have a heightened sense of fear and others, on the other hand, are frightened by what they do not know and they need the support of their reference persons to discover everything that surrounds them. In this path of motherhood / fatherhood, it is very easy to make mistakes and in fact it is necessary, since it is from mistakes that learning is really acquired.
Even it is normal that the personality of your children has similarities with yours. Children are sponges that absorb everything they see and detect from the people closest to them, in this case generally the mother or father. Therefore, it is very important to avoid giving children attitudes or customs that could negatively affect the development of their children's personality.
Face your own fears
Children should feel protected by their parents, for them, mom and dad are their super heroes. And it is good that this is the case, because in this way children will grow up with the conviction that they will always have their parents close by to protect them in any situation. But this should not mean that children are unaware of what the danger is or downplaying things that make them feel scared, because instead of getting over them, they will accumulate somewhere where they will soon emerge as trauma.
Your fears are nothing more than those traumas that have accompanied you since your childhood, those negative experiences that instead of facing, you kept in the place of fears. For example, many people are afraid of dogs because in their childhood some dog (possibly gigantic in the image of a small child) scared them, bit them, barked or ultimately made them feel afraid.
Children get scared when they don't know what's going onIn that case, it is essential to talk to them and patiently explain the situation to them. So, learn to overcome those fears and acquire the necessary tools to deal with those fears that in many cases are irrational. You will have to be very patient, but rest assured that with your help he will be able to overcome it.
Tips to avoid raising a fearful child
- Avoid overprotecting your children: It is human to want to avoid any pain or suffering to children, but that excess of protection causes children to avoid confronting to their fears.
- Teach the child to face their fears: Especially in those circumstances where it is an irrational fear, such as fear of the dark which is something that many children suffer. Then, it is essential to talk with the child and with great patience show him that there is nothing to fear.
- Help your children improve their social skills: Shyness or social anxiety are powerful weapons that deprive children of establishing relationships with their peers. Friends are necessary as they are the ones will help your child explore the world, overcome your fears and even meet new ones. To get up you must first fall, and what better way to fall than with a friend by your side.
- Do not force the child to do something he does not want: It is one thing to help him overcome his fears and quite another, to force him, force him or pressure you to do something that scares you. If your child is afraid of dogs and you force him to touch one, it can become a traumatic experience that worsens the situation.
Often children have trouble putting their emotions into words, your feelings or your fears. Therefore, it is very important to listen to them, but also to observe their gestures, changes in their behavior or those attitudes that can warn you that something is happening. Although they do not know how to express their fear in words, children send clear signals that something is preventing them from moving forward and it is necessary to be very attentive to solve any negative situation and thus avoid raising a fearful child.