In order to educate the children of separated parents, it is necessary to have a great harmony between parents, something that in many cases seems like a chimera. When a couple separates it is very difficult to find a point of understanding, because there are many issues to disagree about. Nevertheless, parenting should be the point at which to find something in common.
Because it is very difficult for a child to assume that his family life is going to change and that everything on which his life was established and his stability is going to be different. If during the years of your child you teach him that what he has is good, imagine what it must feel like when all of a sudden all of that falters and it turns inside out. Therefore, maintaining stability and normality as much as possible is the key to educating the children of separated parents.
In each house some rules
The separation usually comes as a consequence of the disagreement of the couple in many aspects, possibly one of the most important is the education of the children. It is not easy to know how to give in and accept that your opinion is not the only valid one, much less when the couple breaks up. But the separation It is not the solution to that problem, because if you impose some rules on your son in your house but his other parent maintains very different ones when he is in his, the child can in no way know which is the correct way.
On the contrary, for the child the best thing will always be what is easier for him, more in line with how he thinks and he will feel more relaxed with whoever disagrees the least. Although in that case you will not be receiving a correct education and the negative consequences are most likely not to be expected. Therefore, it is essential to find a way to agree on the rules for the child at home, so you always have a similar routine wherever you are.
However, the child must also learn to accept that in each place they may find different norms. So yes little by little he adapts to assume different rules, you will be able to acquire very important tools to manage other situations in your future. In any case, the communication between both parents should be at least cordial when it comes to the education of the children.
Learn to make decisions
Children are used to other people deciding for them and in most situations they do well, because it saves them from having to choose and decide important things. But in a situation like a parental separation, it is essential that children learn to make their own decisions. Not as a way to refute the norms that one or another parent imposes on him, but as a way of adapting to a complex situation.
Learning to make decisions is not just about important things, for example, children have to learn to decide when it is time to go to sleep or when to take a shower. Your child won't have to wait for someone to tell him what to do, because he himself will have the ability to develop critical thinking and choose what to do. In this way they acquire independence and autonomy, something essential in the education of their children, even more so when the child lives in two different houses with different rules in each one.
A separation is never pleasant, regardless of what the causes are. For anyone it is traumatic, painful and complex to assimilate. Even more so when there are children involved, children who were born from the love of two people who one day decide to stop sharing their lives. Children are always the losers in this situation. Adults are the ones who have to do a maturity exercise, understanding and love, so that as far as possible, your life is altered in the least possible way.