There are children who love their parents, however, they do not share their way of doing things and it is difficult for them to live with them.
Relationships between parents and children are always complicated, especially from the adolescence. The problem increases when the adult child does not respect the parents. It is important that parents know how to set limits and work on it. Below is more information about this situation.
Parent-adult child relationship
As a general rule, children are the most valuable thing for parents. However, as in everything, there are exceptions, and some parents do not get to value the child enough. Not only that, that Parents they must know how to stay in place, as well as to give place to their offspring. A big mistake is being friends with a child. Once that threshold is crossed, the trusts and subsequent treatment of the adult child with the father can be excessive and border on the disrespectful.
From childhood, parents must teach their child to respect them, set limits and enforce them. standards. The child must know who is in charge, who educates and who loves them unconditionally. It is not enough to tell them that you love them when the deal with them is scarce or not very substantial. Parents are the first educators and must be there for the child, helping and trusting in their qualities.
The perspective of the parents. Respect
When in childhood limits have been exceeded on the part of the son or the father's pasotism has prevailed, the future foresees writing a crude and disrespectful relationship between father and adult son.
It is common for a parent who feels little respected by their child does not understand why. Parents see it from their point of view and are deep in the thick of it. The perspective of the parents is not the same as that of someone who sees it from the outside. For some children, that excessive love that the father who transmits him considers is not the one he needs. Sometimes the children demand something that they never get, either out of ignorance, ignorance, pasotism or comfort.
Being a parent is not something learned, you must exercise over time and work at it. The example is that of parents who say they give everything to their children, when by "everything" they understand material elements. The son needs the contact affected and parental approval. The moment the son is aware of his loneliness, his lack of support ... he rebels and the relationship ceases to be as idyllic as it could be. In adulthood the child looks back and notices that void that was not covered. Communication between parents and children is very important so as not to reach that point, probably without return.
The childhood guy does respect
The adult child reaches that stage having made a journey. There are many aspects that he knows and has experienced that have made him make certain decisions. Nothing can justify disrespect for a parent. The analysis to conclude the reasons is very complex and long. Sessions with therapists and professionals would surely be necessary, however, influence the personalities and characters of father and son, the type of relationship that has been formed from the beginning and the lace that both have had.
Sometimes there is love but there is no solidity, there is not enough connection to love and respect each other without paying too much attention to other conditions. There are children who love their parents but cannot live with them and their way of doing things. Parents should not be overwhelmed or blamed. To err is human, it is natural. They tell no one how things will be, or what their children will be like. The fact is to try to do things from the heart, from the intention of making the child feel protected, not harassed, but accompanied. It is true that respect is earned, a parent has a part done, but the other percentage must be earned.
It is very true, I live exactly what is published, there is a weak relationship without any communication without much connection, due to work fatigue and immaturity of the parents, but how to remedy that now, that the situation is already so worn out.
In my case, on the contrary, my mother is an arrogant and arrogant person that she always says that I owe her respect but she does not respect me and insults and threatens me because she is the mother, I do not agree with that I believe in respect mutual then threatens to call my father I am almost 20 years old he treats me like a child of 6 I get good grades, I do my homework I fulfill my obligations, it seems that he only wants to hurt and seek conflict in some way, with my father not I have these problems mentioned above, I respect him, he respects me, my mother's is an absolute lack of values because she hides herself in being my mother to do whatever she wants (including insults and yelling every day). How can I stop this situation? Many times I react badly, disrespecting it, and I fear that the situation will escalate.
I have a situation with one of my children. My daughter has her own family and for reasons of life she is living in my house. It's incredible that if I make some determinations that I don't want to help, or can't, their thinking is a variable and I take everything to be negativity including lack of love, understanding and/or support. My energy is not the same as before, besides that recently I have been very ill. I understand that you want a better future for your children, but you cannot change my life, for the simple fact that you have to resolve your life. One thing is that I can help from time to time, not every day, because then the responsibility of the children becomes mine. I had my children and I took responsibility for it. The most amazing thing of all is that he complains to me that I haven't been a good mother, not only because of what is current, but in general. I understand that her frustration with life has blinded her, and unfortunately she has caught it with the wrong person. He may have a lot going for him and I admit it. But that doesn't give you the right to judge me as a (single) mother. Helping at this point in life is an option, not an obligation. Love has nothing to do with whether I help or not. Your young children are many and many times it is stressful. I still work and I come home to work too. On top of that, my daughter choosing a second job affected me in such a way that I am exhausted, mentally and physically. I need my breaks and my relaxations. I understand that her life is a fiasco, but... as an adult, she must abide by the responsibility of her decisions, actions and consequences. Like everyone in life we have had to do it. Within: I understand that there should be mutual respect and there isn't. The claims, shouts, aggressiveness and even the escape to raise my hand. How dare you say that I didn't give you love? How dare you have the audacity to firmly tell me that I have not been a good mother, because I do not help, and according to your version that I do it with interest, that is, monetary, not disinterestedly, or naturally. How difficult it is not to really want to sit down and do retrospectives and enumerate everything that I understand that I have done. But this girl, she is not willing to listen only to what she wants to hear. And if I try to say something, if it is not that he reproaches it, he does not accept it, so I feel that I waste my time trying to speak and express myself and it frustrates me and makes me very angry. To such an extent that I have completely withdrawn my word, why speak? why say? Why express my feelings? if they don't take me into consideration, not even because I'm so sick that I don't even know if they're going to operate on me, because the pain I feel inside is continuous and my state of mind changed, also my strength, my everything. why don't you understand? why is it like this? sometimes I feel that it is better to let him say that I am bad and not defend myself because I will never be right, I will never be heard and much less understood. I have so much to say, but it's not worth it. Certainly RESPECT must be mutual, and you cannot force a parent to fulfill the obligations that you have to assume as an adult. If your mother can't, well she can't, why insist, why torture? Why withdraw your grandchildren have to pay for the differences of opinion of mother and daughter? Because they have a perception of things and/or expectations and they don't understand that I am also a human being, that I have feelings, and that I think differently. It is not easy to be a mother, much less single. Among his claims I made a poor selection of a father who never helped and I agree with him, my responsibility in choosing, but nevertheless I cannot read or predict the future, I did not know that he would not answer for his only daughter. She has not been an easy girl. And I haven't been very condescending either. The discipline was strict, but when he became an adult, everything he had been taught was lost. In life you have to have structure and often follow the rules most of the time. When you go off the rails and do whatever you want without listening to your mother's advice, a lot can happen. When a mother tells you something, she is giving you red flags, because they do not forget that one was born first and was there. not that one is going to throw the rug so you don't trip, but at least receive and analyze the advice. that there is a broken relationship. for the simple fact that I have finally wanted to have a life. to live the rest of life as best as I can since I fulfilled the greatest responsibilities towards the children. I understand that you are a mother until death, but do not make your mother the weight of your decisions. I carried mine, chewed, swallowed and digested, and without help. this is something that claims me equally. that I did it alone therefore she also because I don't want to help. Truly, it is beyond amazing. It's not easy, but it's not impossible either. How do i do it? when is my time? When can I make a life for myself? When can I feel happy to be for myself?