Adolescence is a very tough time, where boys have to deal with a lot of hormonal, physical and emotional changes. Having a brother is to know the deepest friendship, but also means having a rival to deal with every day. Being a teenager is not easy, but sharing space with another teenager in the same situation is even less so.
This can translate into arguments, power struggles, disagreements, and a bad relationship between siblings. Which can lead you to think that your teens hate each other. However, hatred is a very serious feeling, difficult to realize when it comes to a relationship between siblings. Therefore, as much as that bad relationship may worry you, think that it is most likely something temporary.
Jealousy is the main cause of conflict between siblings, something totally natural considering that they share space, everything in the home and most importantly, the love of parents. In her teens and looking to find her own place in the world, it is very difficult to assume that someone else is standing in your way. Much more when he is another teenager with the same circumstances, who is also your brother.
Should I position myself among them?
As a mother or father, you should avoid taking the side of one of your children, since the other will undoubtedly feel displaced and misunderstood. Nor should you overlook their conflicts, nor minimize what may be happening between them. It is generally taken for granted that they are normal things between siblings, but not intervening also has its risks.
They may be able to solve their problems with each other, but it is also possible that the distance between them increases and there comes a point where they have nothing in common. In fact, many adult siblings stop talking to each other, still living under the same roof. And this is a consequence of not knowing how to manage problems at the moment.
What do I do if I think my teenage children hate each other
Finding out the cause of that bad relationship is the first step in finding a solution, because despite having differences, they are still brothers living under the same roof. All the people who live in a house must fulfill some rules of coexistence, which go through respect for others. Therefore, your children will have to speak politely to each other and respect their brother's things and space.
Adolescents with all their difficulties are not aware that there are more things in the world, more people, more problems. They need you to be by their side, to listen to them and understand them, although for you, what happens to them is something silly or unimportant. Try to talk to your teenagers separately, without judging them and of course, without positioning yourself for or against either of them.
Common interest
Although they don't see how much alike they are, they most likely have more in common than they realize. They are brothers, so they will have the same influences in terms of music, entertainment, reading or hobbies. Adolescence goes through many changes and what one day they like the next day they hate. But they are still children in full transition to adulthood they don't understand.
Try to create moments in which memories of their childhood, games between siblings, an excursion in the open air or any circumstance that allows them to surface remember that despite their differences, they love each other. Their emotional ties are stronger than any rivalry. Even if at times you feel that your teenage children hate each other, remember that their union is much deeper and that with patience, love and understanding, they can solve any problem.
Having differences is normal, even between people who love each other. In any affective relationship there are complications, in love affairs, in friendships and also in family relationships. Teach your children to love themselves with their strengths and weaknesses, and thus they will learn to accept and love other people in the same way.