There is no manual to be a good father or a good mother. But when you have a child you start the journey of exploring how you could become the ideal mother, which is the same as deciding and doing everything you think is right for a good life. upbringing of your kids. Communication, empathy, affection, unconditional support are some of the fundamental pillars necessary to be parents who educate their children with Emotional Intelligence.
Parents who educate with Emotional Intelligence will have greater knowledge about their children, but above all, about themselves. Something fundamental to be able to observe and recognize the feelings, thoughts of one and also of others. Also to be able to empathize with other people, and above all, with children: recognizing emotions.
How to raise children with emotional intelligence
When parents develop emotional intelligence at home, in addition to benefiting as parents, it is a great benefit for the child in the long term for their evolutionary and integral development. But now, how can we educate and develop this type of intelligence?
acknowledging emotions
We must be able to recognize each emotion that we feel or that the people around us feel. People say that from the age of two or three, children are already aware of many of the basic emotions. As a father or mother, we should try to ask her what is happening to her, be by her side and even express what you feel when seeing her or him like this.
understand emotions
If the little ones know what they are, now the next step is to try to make them understand them. This happens around the age of 5 or 6. It only remains to explain to them that what they feel are reactions to something they like or dislike. That's why always you must find the origin what really causes this to happen.
Control anger and other emotions
Perhaps one of the ones that most concerns us is anger. That's why we must help them control all the emotions they feel. Although it is not an easy task, give him time and let him express himself so that he lets go of everything that has led him to that state. In order to calm him down, we will also do it through games, breathing techniques, etc.
learn to motivate
Motivation is one of the most positive things we have in life. Therefore, it is vital that the little ones begin to recognize it from their first years of life. with motivation they will see things from different points of view, they will feel more full of energy and they will know how to control all the problems The best way possible. We will talk with them about their dreams, their tastes and expectations. Helping them in any way possible.
How the family influences emotional development
Parents who take care of their own personal and emotional development will be able to understand such important concepts as:
- Love
- The care
- worry
- Safety
- assertive communication
- And what is better… you will be able to pass it on to your children.
Children learn through imitation and what they see at home will be what they internalize in their personality in order to be a more or less successful adult in the future. Success is not achieved with material goods or having more money, success is achieved by appreciating the things that life offers us every morning when we wake up. That is why we can say that the family is a mirror for the little ones. They look at themselves in said mirror and will try to follow some of those patterns that they see reflected. So the influence exerted by the family is vital for minors. Therefore, if we want to help them, we will have to follow a series of steps.
For example, we should not hide the love we have for each other and always show respect as well as the love we feel for each other. Of course, also it is important for emotional development, being able to spend time with children. They should always be in our plans and dedicate quality time to them. Every moment spent with family counts. Because in them the little ones will be able to learn values such as gratitude as well as honesty or teamwork and much more.
How to be an emotionally intelligent parent
Perhaps it is a bit of repeating ourselves from the aforementioned, but it is worth remembering. Because to be a good father or mother with emotional intelligence, we must be in our day to day. Namely, practice by example before teaching it to our children. That is why we must recognize the feelings that other people have towards us, but we must not judge or label them. But we must let each one feel or suffer freely.
Another one of the perfect steps is always build an environment of trust. Because in this way, the people around you (later the children) will know that they count on you to talk openly about everything that happens. Let them talk and always offer your shoulder when they need it. Putting yourself in the shoes of others is empathy, which although many people know how to recognize it, not all of them practice by example. So, go for it because it's really important. Finally, techniques or methods are sought to deal with these emotions, when they are not the most positive.
Emotional Intelligence in the education of children must be done every day, in everyday life, being simple and true. For this you have to being in touch with one's own feelings and knowing how to recognize them such as understanding why we yell, why we get angry, why we laugh, etc. In this way we have to have permission to be able to feel, cry, hug, fight, laugh, make mistakes, listen to others and ourselves, forgive, ask for forgiveness, talk about feelings, love, understand ... evolve.
What is more important in a family: intellectual or emotional intelligence?
All parents want their children to have good grades, to study, to be educated, and this is totally positive. If they do all this but do not have empathy, do not know how to relate to others or do not know how to manage their feelings, will they have the expected success? Well, it must be said that neither intellectual intelligence is important by itself nor is emotional intelligence. They are needed, they are complementary, because one will strengthen the other. Both can be earned through effort, work and putting into practice what has been learned. So when the two come together, the future of the little ones will indeed have a positive shape. What happens is that sometimes not all the necessary tools are put into emotional intelligence, or perhaps not as much as in intellectual intelligence. Balance is the foundation for a healthier life!