The paternity It is one of the most wonderful and intense things that life gives. However, being a mother or father is not without its difficulties, moreover, the most normal thing is that with the arrival of the children the couple's relationship is complicated. On the one hand, the recent mother undergoes a very important transformation once motherhood arrives, the children transform, but do not change, your personality.
The care and education of children becomes the first thing in this new stage of life and inevitably implies an important change in the relationship. However, this does not have to be negative, it is true that the couple changes but it does not necessarily have to be for the worse. For this, it is essential that you lean on your partner to take care of your child, that it is a responsibility of both and that you are able to maintain communication and respect for the opinions of the other person.
The new family dynamic
Before the children arrive, the dynamic of the couple involves sharing household chores, expenses or keeping a plot of individual space, among others. A couple without children can organize trips, plan parties or social events from one day to the next, without too much complication. But when the children arrive, all the attention and all concerns turn to the new member of the family.
The baby sets the rhythm of the couple's life, now any departure from home must be organized in advance. Couple trips will cease to exist or will be limited to special occasions, if you can leave your baby in the care of someone you trust. Work schedules, overtime, etc., will have to be readjusted since the care of your child takes precedence over everything else.
Without forgetting that the family economy will also undergo an important change, since generally for parents, the care and needs of the children prevail, over whims, travel or the standard of living that could previously be allowed.
Changes in the couple's relationship
One of the aspects of the couple's life that is most affected is the one that has to do with the intimacy of the couple. On the one hand, for a few months it is normal that the new mother does not have the same sexual appetite. Hormonal, physical and emotional changes represent an important change and it is important to respect the time that the woman needs to recover and feel ready to regain sexual activity.
On the other hand, moments of intimacy decrease, not to say that they disappear for some time. Tiredness from taking care of the little one, the lack of spontaneity for those intimate moments, can cause the relationship to deteriorate to some extent.
How to improve your relationship after parenthood
The main thing is to respect the individual times of each one. In other words, the mother needs her time to regain relative normality, since she will never be the same as before she was a mother, which does not mean that it is worse. But also it is important to value the feelings of the couple, which tends to be relegated to the background and on many occasions can feel underappreciated or undervalued.
It is essential that you maintain fluid communication and constant, do not fear or hide your feelings and needs. Taking care of children is teamwork, assuming responsibilities as a couple can help you to strengthen your emotional ties.
Avoid baseless arguments, as tiredness and new family dynamics can cause pointless arguments at all times. Each one will have their idea of how things should be done, surely you will have different opinions in countless situations, but do not forget that what you both want is the best for your child. Therefore, instead of arguing to get things done the way you think, try to reach an agreement with your partner and together you can maintain a healthy relationship, as well as a strong and united family.