The arrival of a new baby brother is a moment of happiness but we must be honest, idyllic families do not exist and it is normal that there is jealousy, confrontations, arguments between them ... These moments create a lot of tension, and parents try to do our best in these cases. But, What should we do when your children fight each other? Today we give you some tips to improve your relationship.
Conflicts between siblings
All parents want their children to get along and love each other, but it is also normal for there to be conflicts between siblings just as it is in any type of relationship. You could even say that conflicts are necessary for their social development. The problem is not that they have conflicts but how they resolve them. And in that we parents can do something.
Endless fights, jealousy, arguments, ... it is exhausting they are separating them and trying to get along. Frustration invades you because you would like things to be different. The role of parents is essential in these cases, both for children to learn to relate and solve conflicts, and for parents to adopt a role other than that of bodyguard.
Many times due to ignorance, parents try to overprotect their children so that they do not hurt themselves. Nor should they be left to their own devices, but adopt a role more of teaching than of punishment or overprotection. Give them the necessary tools so that children learn the ability to resolve conflicts on their own.
Let's see some tips on what to do when your children fight each other.
What to do when your children fight each other
- Teach them not to use violence to defend themselves. As parents we must teach our children not to use violence to defend themselves, whether it is their brother or a school child. Do not miss the article "Teach children to defend themselves without using violence."
- Abandon the role of judge. In these cases, the easy thing is to fall into the role of judge and tell everyone what to do. The most appropriate thing is that you abandon that role and take better the role of referee. So you will not have to solve the conflict yourself, it will be them while you guide them in the process. It is important to give them autonomy to solve their problems.
- What alternatives to these behaviors propose. By having the role of arbitrator or intermediary, they will be the ones who have to propose alternative behaviors to arguments and conflicts. You will all sit together and you can write down the solutions they propose even if they sound absurd. The idea is that they themselves reflect on their behavior, and that there are others much better to choose from.
- Listen to them. Children need to feel understood and for that it is necessary to listen to them. Set your ears without judgment, validate their emotions, and then encourage them to talk to each other and listen to each other too. Many times we listen to answer no to understand. There is the key, to listen to others and put ourselves in their place.
- That they feel loved and valued. Many discussions will be the result of getting your love and attention. If all your children feel loved and valued equally, these situations will be very few. Do not compare or criticize themChildren just crave acceptance and love from you, and it can be a great source of pain not to have it.
- Promote respect in the family. Children learn what they see. So you have to promote respect both among family members and with others. Values are very important to children, and they are learned at home. Teach them to show their opinions, wishes or feelings without offending anyone. Assertiveness is very important, don't miss the article "How to promote assertiveness in children".
Because remember ... parents must let our children resolve their conflicts alone, and intervene only in cases where the situation gets out of hand.