Motherhood is so idealized that when the time comes for us to play such an important role in life, we can come to feel that you are not all that you imagined as a mother. In fact, women often wonder why I feel like a bad mother if I do everything for my children, feed them, take care of them and give them all my love. I try hard to make them happy, but still, I feel like it's not enough.
That feeling is full of self-demand, expectations and the desire to fulfill the desire to be the best mother in the world. However, that same feeling is the one that does not let you see that your children do not need you to be a super mother, you just need it to be you because for them you are the best mother. Is it society's fault that you feel like a bad mother? It is possible, but it can also be for the following reasons.
I feel like a bad mother, am I?
There are many circumstances that can lead a woman to feel bad mother at different times of life, even on the same day. Every night you go to bed thinking that the next day you will do better, that you will spend more time playing with your children, you will work to get less angry and have more quality family moments. But the next day arrives and the work, the problems, the lack of time, the obligations, the absence of individual time and a host of other reasons, make all those nocturnal desires go to waste.
Does that make you a bad mother? Not at all, what all your obligations make of you is a normal person, flesh and blood, with unfulfilled feelings, desires and needs. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything to improve. that feeling, because instead of getting better it can get worse and turn your relationship with your children into something very complicated.
find time for yourself
It is impossible to be able to take care of children correctly if we do not take self-care into account. Mothers also have needs, going for a walk alone, shopping without children around, taking a shower in peace or going out for coffee with friends. Each one has tastes and a way of feeling better and finding a way to satisfy that need will be a first step very important to stop feeling like a bad mother.
For other women, that same feeling can be one of the reasons why they feel that they are not the best mother in the world. Because society teaches us that a mother must be selfless, dedicated to the love and care of her children and seeking her happiness above anything else. When you don't feel that, when you know you need something more for yourself, you can feel that you are a bad mother.
Fortunately, today that thought is increasingly outdated and women who are mothers now know that motherhood is not synonymous with the loss of their own individuality. Although there will always be people with a more old-fashioned mentality who can make you feel bad, you yourself should know that life has changed, that kids need space too to grow up and that taking care of yourself doesn't make you a worse mother.
How do I know if I'm a good mother?
Being there for your children, taking care of them and teaching them to be good people, educating them in values such as empathy, solidarity, work or effort, are the things that make a woman a good mother. She laughs with your children, she plays with them as they want, let them sometimes make the rules so that they feel they are important. Listen to what they have to say, because that way you can learn a lot from children.
That is the key to being a good mother, being present, being aware and knowing that children are individual beings with their own identity. But while valuing yourself as a person, because by being a mother you don't stop being a woman, partner, daughter or friend. Your main role will be that of being a mother, but all the others are those that make up your own personality.