If your teenager prefers his father, it is normal for you to feel hurt and withdrawn. Since the most common is that children feel more attached to mothers, especially when they are very young. However, it should not be a cause for concern because maturity and the transition to adolescence entails a series of changes in attitude of the boys.
In fact, your teenager may prefer to withdraw from both parents a bit, because he is in the process of finding himself. Unconsciously or perhaps, being very conscious, boys feel the need to find their place in the world. And to achieve it under the protection of mom, it will become much more complicated.
You prefer your father, don't you need me anymore?
A mother's first thought when a son prefers his father is, he no longer needs me. Mothers feel useful, they need to feel indispensable to their children because that is their main role for many years. However, as children grow they need more space, more authority and autonomy. When there is a very close relationship with the mother, this task can be more complicated.
On the other hand, for the teenagers it is not easy to talk to mothers about certain topics. Especially if they feel too small, if they still feel like a baby to the mother. In that case, the most normal thing is that they seek complicity in the father figure, since parents show less tendency to infantilize children. That does not mean that your child does not need you, simply that he needs you in a different way.
How to act
If there is no reason beyond adolescence itself, with all its changes, you should not worry excessively about this situation. No matter how far away you feel, it is most likely that it is a stage that in the same way that it arrives, it goes. However, it is very important to assess other circumstances that may lead your adolescent son to prefer his father.
Sometimes children are offended for reasons that only they understand, but which can lead them to feel further away from their mothers than from their fathers. Maybe something has happened that has made you feel bad, and therefore it is very important to differentiate if he prefers his father as part of his growth, or if it is because he is angry with you. In this case, you must face the situation and have a conversation with your child to find the problem and the solution.
In any case, it is essential to remain calm and respect your child's need. Do not show yourself hurt, or needy before him, because most likely he does not understand what is happening to you. Show interest in things that concern you, for his personal relationships, for his musical tastes. With respect, even if they seem inappropriate to you. Because if you want your teenager to feel comfortable with you, he must feel that you are struggling to understand the world as he sees it.
Changes in mother and child relationships
Relationships between parents and children undergo various transformations throughout life. At each stage, children feel more or less attached to their father or mother, depending on your own needs. Understanding that it is not a question of selfishness, but of the changes typical of maturity, is the key so that the relationship between mother and child is always correct.
Remember that children must find in their parents a figure to learn about, to look at and discover how they should be when they grow up. What they should not see in their fathers and mothers is a friend, because important issues such as authority are lost in that relationship. Nor should it be put in the position of choosing between the father or the mother, because the reality is that the ideal is that the child feels comfortable with both.
So do not feel aggrieved, or displaced, or look for a way to regain your place in the life of your adolescent, no matter how much he now prefers his father. Because for your son, there is no one in the world who can replace the role of a mother, even if he comes to have a more comfortable relationship with his father.