Ukukhulelwa kungacwangciswa okanye kungacwangciswanga, kodwa kuya kuhlala kuhlawuliswa iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuyakubakho uvuyo, uloyiko kunye nemvakalelo engathandekiyo 'kaThixo wam'. Ukulindela oomama nootata ngexesha lokukhulelwa kunyanzelekile ukuba bathathe ezi ndaba ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ... Ngokwesiqhelo ngokuzola, kuba yile nto ilindelwe luluntu.
Nangona kunjalo, amadoda nabasetyhini baneenkxalabo (ezona zinto zixhalabisayo) ekufuneka zijongiwe nokuba abazibonisi ezi ngcinga esidlangalaleni- Oko kukuthi, bayasokola ngokufihlakeleyo kuyo. Nazi ezinye zezinto onokuzikhathaza ngazo ngexesha lokukhulelwa ongaxeleli mntu mhlawumbi ngenxa yeentloni okanye kuba banokukugweba.
Kuyimfuneko ukuba xa uziva unexhala ungazigcini kuwe, kuba kunokwenzeka ukuba nabanye abasetyhini abakhulelweyo banazo. Ukuziva ungonwabanga okanye ungaqinisekanga ngexesha lokukhulelwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ulindele ukufika kwesidalwa esitsha ebomini bakho esiya kuxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo kuwe.
Ndingathini ukuba andazi ukuba ndithini?
Olu luloyiko olukhulu kuninzi lwamadoda nabafazi abalindele ukuba nosana: ukungazi ukuba benzeni okanye indlela yokuphendula ngamaxesha athile. Kodwa kuya kuthini ukuba baba semngciphekweni ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa yoku kungazi? Amadoda nabasetyhini bayathanda ukuziva ngathi banendima kwaye bayayazi indlela yokuphendula nangawuphi na umzuzu ngokungathi banencwadi yemiyalelo entloko, kodwa xa kufikwa ekubeni ngabazali, usenokungayiqondi kakuhle le meko… Ukuba ngumzali akuzi nencwadi yemiyalelo.
Ukungaqiniseki kunokuvela xa umfazi esiya kubeleka, okulandelayo, kunye nokukhuliswa kosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa. Kuyimfuneko ukuba unolwazi malunga nokuzala kunye nokuba ngumzali ukuze wazi indlela yokusabela kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Ngethamsanqa namhlanje kukuba sinolwazi oluninzi ezandleni zethu, kufuneka sikhethe eyona ichanekileyo kwimeko nganye.
Ngaba zonke izinto ezilungileyo ziya kuphela?
Uya kufunda kuphela ukuphila ngokulungileyo ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka ziya kutshintsha kwaye indlela ophila ngayo iyakutshintsha. Oku akukubi, kuzakubakho izinto eziza kushiyeka ngasemva kodwa zininzi ezinye ezizakubakho ebomini bakho. Inyani yile yokuba umzekelo, ekuqaleni kuya kubakho ukusondelelana okuncinci njengesibini kuba kuya kubakho usana ebomini benu. Ubomi besondo buya kwahluka kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba kufanele ukuba kubi.
Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba lonke ulonwabo luza kuhamba. Ngokucwangcisa kunye nombutho olungileyo unokuba neeholide, ukonwaba, imihla yothando, iintlanganiso nabahlobo kunye nosapho ... Kuphela kuyakuthatha ixesha elininzi ukuhlela yonke into kwaye uyakugcina ukhathele ngakumbi ... Kodwa kuya kufaneleka oko.
Kuthekani ukuba ukuba ngumzali konakalisa ubudlelwane bakho?
Nangona ndingathanda ukuthi abantwana abaze bachithe imitshato, ngamanye amaxesha bayayenza. Ukuzisa ubomi obutsha kweli hlabathi linesiphithiphithi ngokuqinisekileyo yinto eyoyikisayo. Ngamanye amaxesha, uxinzelelo lunokubakho ebantwini xa bengazi ukuba bangaluhambisa njani kwakhona ebomini. Iingcali ezininzi zithi iintsana zinokuyizisa imitshato kunye, kodwa ziyakwazi ukuyikhulula. Ukuze kubekho unxibelelwano olomeleleyo, kuya kufuneka ube nonxibelelwano olukhulu lweemvakalelo.
Isibini sokuqala seminyaka sibaluleke kakhulu emntwaneni, kunye noxinzelelo olukhulu kubazali ... Kwaye bobabini kufuneka babumbane ngokupheleleyo kuyo yonke into ukuze basebenze: usapho kunye nesi sibini. Ukuba unoloyiko lokuba kuya kubakho iingxaki, jongana nazo ngoku phambi kokuba umntwana azalwe. Yiya kwizibini ezinyangayo ukuba kunyanzelekile… Uqhawulo-mtshato lusenokubonakala ngathi luyingxaki xa usakhulelwe, kodwa ukuba uyakholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba ubudlelwane bakho abunakamva, kungcono bohlukane ngaphambi kokuba umntwana azalwe ukuze incinci ikhule inabazali ababini abonwabileyo, nangona bohlukene.
Ngaba ndiza kuba ngumzali ombi?
Oku kuxhomekeke kakhulu kumntu ngamnye. Ngenxa yokuba ungutata ombi oko akuthethi ukuba uyakuba ngutata ombi okanye umama ombi. Kuqhelekile ukuziva usoyika ... kodwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive ngaloo ndlela. Wonke umntu uyoyika xa eqala ukuba nosana ezandleni zabo.
Amadoda nabafazi bangafunda kwiimpazamo ezenziwe ngabazali babo ukuze bangaweli kwiingxaki ezifanayo, ukuze bangaphindi iipateni ezinokubenzakalisa abantwana babo kwixa elizayo. Ukuba unenkxalabo, ungaya kwingcali okanye uthethe nabanye abazali ufumane ezinye iindlela ngombandela othile.
Kuza kwenzeka ntoni kum?
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali babhenela ekucingeni umntwana wabo njengotshaba lwabo… Kodwa oku akunjalo. Mhlawumbi ube ngowokuqala ukufumana uthando lweqabane lakho kwaye ngoku ngekhe kubenjalo. Kodwa le mvakalelo iyadlula, kuba xa uziva uthando umntu analo ngomntwana, uya kukhawuleza uqonde ukuba kwahlukile kulo naluphi na olunye uthando. Uthando lomntwana alufani nolomlingane. Zombini uthando zinamandla, kodwa zahluke ngokupheleleyo.
Kuqhelekile ukuba abazali abatsha bazive belahliwe xa umntwana efika ekhaya kuqala. Khumbula ukuba ayinguwe ofuna yonke ingqwalaselo. Usana lwakho, umntu okhulayo omncinci ezandleni zakho nguye ofuna ukukhathalelwa ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ngaba ndiza kuba neengxaki zemali?
Ukukhulisa umntwana akukho simahla, kwaye ngelishwa ayingawo onke amazwe anikezela ngoncedo olwaneleyo ukuze iintsapho zingabinangxaki zemali. Ngamanye amaxesha, kwezinye iintsapho, ukuba nabantwana kunokuba yinto entle yezemali, apho ukuphela kwenyanga kuya kufuneka ujongise ukuya kuyo yonke into. Abantwana bayabiza ... Yiyo loo nto kucetyiswa ukuba babenabo xa kukho imisebenzi ezinzileyo, ikhaya kunye nezinto ezikhuthazayo zokukhulelwa okonwaba.
Nangona kungasoloko kulula njalo, ngakumbi kubantu abazimeleyo nabangafumani amalungelo anesidima kuRhulumente ukuba bakwazi ukukhulisa abantwana babo ngaphandle kwengxaki. Ke, Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba nokonga imali ukuze ube nakho ukujongana neendleko ezingalindelwanga ezinokuza nomntwana.