Abazali bafuna ukunika ubuncinci kubantwana bethu. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ngenxa yokungazi, ngokulandela iipateni ezifundiweyo, amava adlulileyo okanye ukungazi ukuba ungayenza njani ngenye indlela, abazali benza iimpazamo ezikhokelela ekubeni singabazali abanetyhefu. Unokuba kanti awuyazi. Apha siza kuchaza Iimpawu zabazali abanetyhefu ukwazi indlela yokufumanisa ukuba ukhona kwaye ukwazi ukutshintsha.
Yintoni abazali abanetyhefu?
Ngabo bazali abathi ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo njengoko besibonile ngaphambili, kubangela ukubandezeleka kubantwana babo ngeemfuno, amabango kunye nokuziphatha okunetyhefu. Oku kubangela ukukhula kwengqondo okungalunganga, uxinzelelo olukhulu lweemvakalelo kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi ebantwaneni, iziphumo ezinokubangela ziphawule ngonaphakade kwaye ubakhaphe ubomi babo bonke.
Abazali sisalathiso sokuqala sothando ebantwaneni. Kwaye ukuba aba bantu bazama ukubaphatha, bababize, babaphathe kakubi ... yeyiphi ingcinga yothando esiyinika abantwana? Ewe, ukuba ufuna abanye benze into oyifunayo, kuya kufuneka wenze ngobuqili ukuze uyifumane, usebenzise iblackmail kunye nantoni na eyimfuneko. Ngenxa yokuba iminqweno yakho ingaphezulu kweyabanye. Yile nto ubuya kuba umfundisa yona.
Iimpawu zabazali abanetyhefu
Njengabantu esingabo, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba senze iimpazamo. Kodwa Ukuziphatha komzali okunetyhefu kungaphezulu kwempazamo njeZizigqibo malunga nokuba ungabafundisa njani abantwana, ngenxa yoloyiko, amabango, ukuxhatshazwa ... ezinokonakalisa ubomi babantwana bakho ngonaphakade.
Masibone ukuba ziintoni ezona mpawu ziphambili kubazali abanetyhefu kunye nokuba ibangela ntoni ebantwaneni.
- Igunya: abo bafuna ukuba abantwana babo babekho kwaye benze le nto bayifunayo. Abazinyamezeli iimpazamo, bagxeka kakhulu kwaye bafuna ukugqibelela, kwaye yenza abantwana abathobekileyo, ngokuzithemba okuphantsi, ukungazithembi...
- Ukugxeka kakhulu: Bangabazali konke abakwenzayo ukugxeka yonke into eyenziwa ngabantwana babo. Bagxeka yonke into ngabantwana babo: izihlobo zabo, ukuthanda kwabo, indlela abaziphethe ngayo, impumelelo yabo ... Abathethi nto intle, bagxila kokubi bababethe ngako. Ngaphezulu kokuphilisa bayazitshonisa. Abantwana baba ukungazithembi, ukungakhuthazwa kwaye uzive ungenaxabiso.
- Ukukhusela ngokugqithisileyo: Ukuzikhusela ngokugqithisileyo kunokuba mbi njengokugqithisa okanye ukugxeka ngokugqithisileyo. Umnqweno wabazali abaninzi wokungafuni ukuba abantwana babo benze iimpazamo okanye benze iimpazamo okanye wenzakale, siyabakhusela kakhulu. Oku kubathintela ekufundeni kwizenzo zabo, ekuthatheni uxanduva lokuziphatha kwabo kunye nobomi babo. Bayaguquka ukungazithembi, ukuxhomekeka kunye nokuba mdala. Ne kufuneka enze iimpazamo ukuze afunde kubo.
- Abaphathi: Ngabo abathi ngokunyanzela ngokweemvakalelo bazame ukufumana oko bakufunayo kubo kwaye babalawule. Abantwana baba ngamaxhoba okuphathwa gwenxa kwabo. Oku kuziphatha kubangela ukuba abantwana babe abakwazi ukwenza izigqibo ebomini babo, baba nesigqibo, bangazithembi kwaye babaleke noxanduva.
- Abaxhaphazi ngokwasemzimbeni nangamazwi: Ngelishwa basekhona. Abazali abakholelwa ukuba ekuphela kwendlela yokufunda kukoyika, indelelo, kunye nokuxhatshazwa emzimbeni. Umonakalo owenziwa ngabantwana libuhlungu kakhulu. Bangabazali abazithethelelayo besithi "yenzelwe wena" okanye "Ndifundiswe njalo kwaye jonga indlela endiphumelele ngayo." Ukuphathwa gadalala akunakuthetheleleka nangayiphi na indlela. Abantwana abakhuliswe phantsi kobundlobongela Bangakwazi ukuvelisa kwakhona olu hlobo lokuziphatha, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, iimvakalelo zokuziva benetyala, unxunguphalo kunye noxinzelelo.… Kwaye iingxaki zengqondo eziza kwanda kubomi bakhe bobudala.
- Abo basola yonke into ebantwaneni babo: Ziingcali ekugxekeni wonke umntu ngaphandle kwabo. Batyhola abantwana babo ngeempazamo kunye nokusilela kwabo, ngokungabinabo ubomi ababufunayo, ngokubabekela izinto bucala ... Oku kuvelisa ebantwaneni ukuzithemba okuphantsi, ukuziva ungaxabisekanga, unetyala, ...
Khumbula… indlela yokufundisa esinayo nabantwana bethu iya kuba nefuthe kubo eya kuhlala ixesha elide. Khetha kakuhle ukuba ufuna ukuyenza njani.