Xa sele uqalile usapho, ukucinga ngoqhawulo-mtshato akukho lula kwaye kulula kakhulu. “Ngaba kufuneka ndiqhawule umtshato?” Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngumbuzo izigidi zabantu ezizibuza wona ngoku. Mhlawumbi bazisola ngokutshata, baye bathandana nomnye umntu, iqabane labo alimphathi kakuhle, uthando luphelile, kukho ukukhohlisa nokungathembani ... izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba baqhawule umtshato zininzi.
Xa umtshato ungahambi kakuhle kunokubonakala ngathi zimbini kuphela iinketho ezikhoyo kuwe: hlala okanye ushiye. lEnyanisweni, ubomi abuyiyo yonke into "emnyama okanye emhlophe", Kunokubakho ama-nuances ahamba kakuhle nawe, imeko yakho yangoku kunye nosapho lwakho. Ukwazi into ekufuneka uyenzile, kungcono ukugcina ezinye iingcinga engqondweni kwangaphambili. Siza kuzama ukukunceda wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Iindlela ezintathu ezizezinye
Ukuba ucinga ngoqhawulo-mtshato ngoku ungagcina ezinye iindlela ezintathu engqondweni:
- Ungahlala kwaye uzame ukugcina umtshato wakho ngokwenza utshintsho olufanelekileyo phakathi kwamaqela omabini.
- Unokwahlula kwaye unethemba lokuba umgama uya kukunceda ufumane imbono entsha kwiingxaki zakho zobudlelwane.
- Ungaqhawula umtshato.
Xa uthatha isigqibo sokuhlala akuthethi ukuba umtshato uyaqhubeka enzonzobileni efanayo okanye ekupheleni. Ukwahlukana kunokuba lixesha lokuba isibini ngasinye sicinge ngomtshato, ngokwaso, size sibe nembono ngeengxaki zomtshato. Ukwahlukana komtshato sisixhobo esihle esinokusetyenziselwa ukugcina umtshato okanye utshintsho kwinkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato.
Ngaba ufanele uhlale kwaye uzame ukusindisa umtshato wakho?
Kuyo yonke imitshato, ngaphandle kokukhetha, bahamba ngamaxesha anzima okanye engxabano. Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho unqula iqabane lakho kunye namanye amaxesha apho awukwazi ukuma okanye ujonge ubuso babo. Iimvakalelo ezibhekiselele kumtshato wakho kunye neqabane lakho linokuba nemijikelo kwaye ngamanye amaxesha lizive ngathi lihamba. Ngokunikwa ithuba kunye nokusetyenziswa kwezakhono ezifanelekileyo zobudlelwane, Amaxesha amabi ekugqibeleni ayadlula.
Ingxaki inkoliso yezibini ezitshatileyo ibonakala inazo kukulindela okukhulu kumtshato onothando, “ngolonwabo ngonaphakade” emva komtshato. Ukuwujonga umtshato ngendlela esengqiqweni nokwazi ukuba umtshato wenu uya kuba namaxesha okungoneliseki kwenza kube lula ukuhlangabezana nawo, nokoyisa amaxesha anzima. Ukuba nombono osengqiqweni kuya kukuthintela ekwenzeni isigqibo ngokungxama. ngoqhawulo-mtshato onokuthi uzisole kamva.
Yintoni onokuyenza ukuba iingxaki zakho zobudlelwane zininzi kwaye zixhaphakile? Ukuba ukhethe ukuhlala emtshatweni unethemba lokuba izinto ziya “kuba ngcono,” kufuneka wenze okungakumbi kunokuhlala nje. Izibini zinokhetho, zinokusebenzisana ukuze zifumane izicombululo kwiingxaki zomtshato okanye zinokuzifuna uncedo lwangaphandle ngokohlobo lwengcali yomtshato okanye umlamli womtshato.
Ukuba ujongene nobunzima ebomini bakho, yabelana ngeentlungu kunye nemicelimngeni yakho kunye neqabane lakho ukuze akwazi ukudlula kuzo kunye nawe. Cinga ukuba le ndlela, nangona ungaze uyikhethe, inokuba yinto ekwenza womelele njengomntu nanjengesibini. Nokuba nizama ukuphucula ubudlelwane benu njengesibini kwaye ke nosapho lwakho, ngezixhobo ozifumana kwi-Intanethi, kwincwadi yokuzinceda, okanye ukuba ufuna uncedo lwengcali, wena nabantwana bakho niya kukwazi ukuyonwabela. iinzuzo zomtshato onempilo nonempilo Uyayazi indlela yokoyisa ubunzima, nto leyo ngokungathandabuzekiyo eya kumomeleza kakhulu.
Ukuba uzama ukwenza yonke into ibe ngcono kodwa ekugqibeleni uthathe isigqibo sokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lukhetho lwakho, ubuncinci ungaphila ngolwazi lokuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukugcina umtshato kwaye ugcine usapho luqinile.
Ngaba nifanele nahlukane?
Usenokukufumanisa kulula “ukushiya” ukuba ubona ukushiya njengenyathelo lokuwakha kwakhona umtshato, kungekhona ukuwuphelisa.. Umbono wokudala umgama kwiqabane lakho ngamaxesha obunzima unokubonakala ungasebenzi, kodwa ukuba kwenziwa ngembeko nangokuchanekileyo, ukwahlukana kunokuba sisixhobo esihle sokudibanisa isibini.
Ukwahlukana okulawulekayo ngenjongo yokubuyisela umtshato kunokuba nempumelelo ukuba kukho unxibelelwano oluhle ngaphambi naphakathi kokwahlukana. Kufuneka kubekho ukunyaniseka malunga nesizathu sokwahlukana. Ukuba ukuhlukana kuyindlela yokubaleka umtshato kuwe, ungamxeleli ukuba udinga indawo, thetha inyani kwasekuqaleni.
Nangona umtshato usengxakini, kufuneka ube nenqanaba elaneleyo lokuthembela kwisibini ukuze ukwazi ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo malunga nesizathu sokwahlukana, izinto ezilindelekileyo emtshatweni ngexesha lokwahlukana kunye neenjongo oqhutyelwa kuzo.
Ngaba ufanele uqhawule umtshato?
Ngamanye amaxesha iingxaki emtshatweni zinzulu kakhulu, akukho zisombululo kwaye uqhawulo-mtshato lukhetho ekufuneka lukhethwe. Kwiimeko zokungathembeki okuqhubekayo, ukuxhatshazwa kwasekhaya, okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, uqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba lolona khetho lungcono onokuthi ulwenze. Ukuba ufumana amava amabi, uqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba yindlela yokubonisa intlonipho kuwe nakubantwana bakho.
Inyaniso kukuba ukuqhawula umtshato akusiyo inyathelo "loxolo", ngoko kuya kubakho ukungqubuzana okanye enye ngexesha lenkqubo, mhlawumbi namaxesha ongquzulwano oluphezulu, kuba oku akulula nakubani na. Inkoliso yoqhawulo-mtshato iqalwa licala elinye lesibini. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ayisosiphumo sokuhlangana kwenu nobabini nize nenze isigqibo. Ngenxa yoko, umntu uya kushiywa ngasemva, ebuhlungu emoyeni kwaye enomsindo, mhlawumbi edala iingxabano phantsi kwentukuthelo.
Uqhawulo-mtshato aluyi kukhululeka kwaye aluyi kuthomalalisa naziphi na iimvakalelo onazo. Kodwa kuya kufuneka ukuba wamkele inyaniso ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubela phambili kwaye ulwe ukuze ube nemeko ezinzileyo kuwe nakubantwana bakho. Kuya kukuthatha ixesha elide ukuba uzive ukhululekile kwiingxaki zomtshato oye wajamelana nazo. Nokuba ukhetho lokuqhawula umtshato lube lolwakho. Ukuba uziva uxinezelekile kakhulu kunye nobuhlungu beemvakalelo emva kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato luqalile kwaye ucinga ukuba ufuna uncedo oluvela kwingcali, ungalibazisi ukuyifuna. Iya kuba nako ukukunika izixhobo ozidingayo ngepsychology ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubela phambili uzinzo oluhle lweemvakalelo.