Uqhawulo-mtshato kubantu abadala luya lusiba yinto eqhelekileyo, lukwabizwa ngokuba "luqhawulo mtshato" okanye "uqhawulo mtshato lwesilivere". Inqanaba loqhawulo-mtshato kubantu abangaphezu kwama-50 liphindaphindwe ukusukela ngo-1990. Abazukulwana banokuchaphazeleka, njengabantwana abadala.
Uqhawulo mtshato kootatomkhulu noomakhulu
Kumalungu osapho asakhulayo, umbono wokuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu baqhawule umtshato isenokubonakala ngathi iyahlekisa. Kungenzeka ukuba abantwana nabazukulwana abasiqondi isizathu sokuba emva kweminyaka emininzi bekunye bagqiba kwelokuba bohlukane ... Kodwa zikhona ezinye izizathu ezinokuqhuba olu hlaselo-lobomi emva kwexesha:
- Ngeminyaka engama-50 okanye engama-60 kusekho okuninzi ekufuneka kuphile
- Abafuni ukuqhubeka bephila ukungonwabi emtshatweni
- Xa banexesha elininzi lokuthatha umhlalaphantsi bayaqonda ukuba esi sibini asihambelani
- Banokuqhawula umtshato ngaphandle kokuchaphazela uqoqosho lomnye
Nangona enyanisweni ikukuqhawula umtshato kuxabisa imali kwaye kunokushiya inxenye yesi sibini ihluphekile ngokweemvakalelo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngabafazi abaxhomekeke kwezoqoqosho kwindoda eyona nto ihlupheke kakhulu.
Abazukulwana noomawokhulu
Ukuxelela abazukulwana ukuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bayaqhawula umtshato akukho lula. Iingcali ziyavuma ukuba into abazukulwana ekufuneka beve ukuba xa ootatomkhulu kuqhawulo mtshato ixhomekeke kootatomkhulu kwaye bona, njengabazukulwana, abananto yakwenza nako. Ungathetha into efana nale: "Utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho basakuthanda, uyakuhlala ungumzukulwana wabo kwaye uqhawulo mtshato alunakuze lutshintshe ubudlelwane bakho nabo." Nangona ngamanye amaxesha ubudlelwane bunokutshintsha kancinci ngenxa yeemeko ezintsha.
Uqhawulo-mtshato lunefuthe elinamandla ngakumbi kootatomkhulu noomakhulu njengoko kunokwenzeka ukuba babe njalo Oomakhulu nootatomkhulu abahlala kude okanye abanobudlelwane obandayo nabazukulwana kunoomakhulu.
Ukuqhawula umtshato koomakhulu nootatomkhulu
Kubalulekile ukuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bangalushiyi usapho kwaye babekho kwiindibano zosapho, ngumsebenzi wakhe wonke umntu ukuba oku kungachaphazeli intuthuzelo yosapho. Ukuba oko kuyenzeka, kufuneka kufumaneke izisombululo ukuze bagcine unxibelelwano oluhle nosapho lonke, ukunqanda ukuba bayeke ukuya kwiintlanganiso apho lonke usapho lukhona.
Kuyimfuneko ukuba uzame ukubuyisela imeko kwimeko nganye kuye wonke umntu ngokukhawuleza. Ukuba ootatomkhulu banobudlelwane obuhle, yonke into ilula kakhulu kusapho lonke. Ingxaki inokuvela xa ootatomkhulu benolwalamano olubi okanye ukuba abakwazi nokubonana. Xa oku kusenzeka, usapho luziva luphakathi kwendlela kwaye abazi ukuba mabasabele njani ukuze yonke into ibe yesiqhelo ngokusemandleni. Kule meko, kubalulekile ukuba ucinge malunga nabazukulwana kwaye uzame ukuba ubudlelwane neqela ngalinye, bobabini notatomkhulu kunye nogogo khange bachaphazeleke kakhulu.
Oku kuya kuthetha ukujonga amaxesha okundwendwela okanye ukwenza imisebenzi ngokwahlukeneyo. Kwelinye icala notat'omkhulu kwelinye icala kunye nomakhulu. Ukuze ngale ndlela, ubudlelwane phakathi kootatomkhulu noomakhulu bobona bobona bonakele buncinci nokuba sele beqhawule umtshato. Imfihlo kukwazi indlela yokwabelana ngexesha kunye. Fumana eyona ndlela yokuqhubeka nokugcina ulwalamano olufanelekileyo lweemvakalelo.
Soloko ufumaneka
Kubalulekile, ukulandela umhlathi ongaphambili, ukugcina iifom zonxibelelwano. Gcina iincoko zisondele kwaye ungazinzisi yonke into ngoqhawulo mtshato. Abantwana abaziqondi "ezi ngxaki zabantu abadala" kwaye akufuneki babe yinxalenye yazo. Ngesi sizathu, xa ootatomkhulu bebiza abazukulwana babo, kuyakufuneka bazi ukuba yeyiphi imithombo eshushu yokuyiphatha ukuze incoko zibe mnandi kangangoko. Ukuba nemixholo engathathi hlangothi engqondweni ukunqanda ukuthuliswa okungathandekiyo kuya kuba yinto elungileyo kuye wonke umntu.
Kolu nxibelelwano, i abantwana abadala kwaye kubalulekile ukunqanda umdla kwimicimbi echaphazela abazali / ootatomkhulu kuphela. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho ulwazi oluyimfihlo ekufuneka lwaziwe kuphela zizibini ezitshatileyo, baya kuyazi into abafuna ukuyixela nento abangayaziyo ... Kubalulekile ukuba uyihloniphe le mfihlo ukuphepha iingxabano okanye iingxoxo ezingeyomfuneko Icandelo ngalinye linokuba nohlobo lwalo kwaye abantwana abadala akufuneki bazibeke kwicala labo bobabini, eyona nto ilungileyo kukugcina ukungathathi cala. Ayilombono ulungileyo ukuthatha icala kwinto eyenzekileyo nokuba uyazi ukuba ngubani onephutha.
Xa kuqhawulwa umtshato wootatomkhulu nootatomkhulu, injongo kukugcina usapho luhlangene kwaye bafumane ityala ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke oko kuya kugcina kuphela ingqumbo engathandekiyo kuye wonke umntu kwaye iyityhefu kusapho ngokubanzi.
Yamkela utshintsho
Ngenxa yokuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bangabaphambili kwizithethe ezininzi zosapho, uqhawulo-mtshato lootatomkhulu lunokuziva luyintlekele njengokufa kotatomkhulu… kukho usizi lwangaphakathi kuba yonke into iyatshintsha ngequbuliso kubomi bosapho.
Uqhawulo mtshato, nangona kunjalo, ayisosiphelo kuphela kodwa ikwasisiqalo kubantu abaninzi. Bahlala beqala iinzame ezintsha abaziva ukuba, ngokuchanekileyo okanye ngokungalunganga, abangakhange bakwazi ukuzihlola ngelixa betshatile, ngamanye amaxesha baya konwaba kwaye baneliseke ngakumbi ngenxa yoqhawulo mtshato.
Ubudlelwane obutsha banokubakho ngoomakhulu nootatomkhulu abaqhawule umtshato. Nangona ukutshata kwakhona kunqabile emva kokuqhawula umtshato ebomini, kuyenzeka. Xa ootatomkhulu betshata kwakhona, bahlala bengabazali bomtshato wesibini, bezisa abantwana nabazukulwana abatsha kwisangqa sosapho. Zonke ezi nguqu ziya kuba lula kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo ukuba azithathwa njengelahleko, kodwa zinokubakho izinto ezintsha ... Kuya kufuneka ulwamkele olu tshintsho ngokukhawuleza.
Nangona uqhawulo-mtshato lootatomkhulu luyanda, ngokwezibalo kusamele ipesenti yoqhawulo-mtshato. Ootatomkhulu banamathuba amaninzi okujongana noqhawulo mtshato lomntwana okanye umzukulwana. Nangona kunjalo, xa uqhawulo-mtshato luhamba notatomkhulu, wonke umntu obandakanyekayo kufuneka azame jongana neziphumo ngeyona ndlela ibalaseleyo yokulungelwa kwabo bonke.
Kwimeko yam ekhethekileyo, ndingatsho ukuba ifuthe leemvakalelo kubazukulwana likhulu kakhulu, ukwahlukana notatomkhulu noomakhulu. Ndiqwalasele kumzukulwana wam oneminyaka eli-10 ubudala ukuba kunzima kangakanani kuye ukuyifumanisa le meko, ethi kum ndicinge ukuba ingcinga yakhe iyayidlulisela ithi ukuba yenzekile koomakhulu notatomkhulu ngenye imini inokwenzeka nakubazali bakhe, umoyikisa nangakumbi. Ukuba kuyathinteleka, ndicebisa ukuba izibini ezindala ziphinde ziqwalasele ngaphambi kokwenza ezi zigqibo, nditsho ndazi ukuba isibini asimenzi umntu abe yedwa, ukuba umntu akafuni, akunakwenzeka ukuqhubeka nokunyanzela into enye ayenzi yiya kwakhona.