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Ukufikisa kade kuxa sithetha ngeminyaka ephakathi kwe-15 kunye ne-18 leminyaka ubudala. Uvukelo oluninzi lwezikolo eziphakamileyo lwenzeka ngenxa yokulibaziseka kokufikisa, umntu oselula uvukela ngokukhawuleza ekugqibeleni ukuze azikhulule ekuxhomekekeni ebuntwaneni ekuvunyweni kwabazali ukuba ahlale "engumntwana olungileyo."
Umzekelo, ngabantwana kuphela abathanda ukucotha ukwahlukana nabazali ngenxa yokuncamathela okuqinileyo kunye nokwandiswa kwamacala omabini. Okokugqibela, kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, aba bantu baselula, bephumelele ukuzimela geqe, kunokufuneka baqalise imvukelo kade ukuze bafumane ukwahlukana, Ukwahlula kunye nokuzimela kufuneka baqhube eli nyathelo libalulekileyo elilandelayo.
Oku kubuhlungu kwaye iyoyikisa abazali. Kule minyaka yobudala, ukuthatha umngcipheko kunokuba yingozi ngakumbi, njengoko bephoswa ukulahlekelwa kokusondela kunye ukuhambisana nonyana okanye intombi yakho obuyonwabele iminyaka emininzi kangaka.
Into ekufuneka abazali bayikhumbule ngeli xesha kukuba umntu oselula usoyika kwaye usentlungwini njengokuba enjalo. Ke ngoko, umsebenzi wakho kukuvumela ukuzimela okukhulu ngelixa ulindele uxanduva olulinganayo, uhlale unovelwano ngexesha lokungavisisani, kwaye bonelela ngesikhokelo esizolileyo nesicacileyo kuyo nayiphi na imingcipheko ebalulekileyo enokuthi yenzeke.
Kubalulekile ukuba abazali bangazibeki “kwiqela elichaseneyo” labantwana babo. Bamele bazive bekwindlela enye kwaye baya kuhlala bekwicala labo lokubakhokela kuyo yonke into abayidingayo. Ngale ndlela abakwishumi elivisayo baya kuziva bethandwa yaye behlonelwa ngamaxesha onke. Ngaloo ndlela, abazali baya kukwazi ukunyamekela ulwalamano abanalo nabantwana babo phezu kwako nje umnqweno wabo omkhulu wokuzimela geqe ebomini. Ukunyamekela ubudlelwane kweli nqanaba kubalulekile kwikhondo elihle lobomi babantwana.