Ukuba ngaba kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, uluntu (kunye namajelo eendaba) anyanzelisa ukwahlulwa koomama (umama ogqibeleleyo, umncedisi,…); iinyanga ezimbalwa ziye zaba semfashinini izimvo kunye namava (oomama) abonisa icala elimnyama lobumama, elingenakuthethwa. Kucingelwa ukuba 'ukuphuma ekhabhathini' nokubiza iimvakalelo kulungile, kuyakhulula, ... Icala endilifumanayo lelokuba ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye sifumanisa ukuba isiqinisekiso somntu omkhulu phambi komntwana senzelwe oko, ngokungathi besingekakhuli ngokwaneleyo xa kufikwa ekwamkeleni ukuba ulindelo alusoloko luhlangatyezwa, kodwa loo nyani ayisiyonto imbi ngokokujonga.
Kungumnqa ukubona ukuba ekugqibeleni, singabafazi abahlalutyiweyo, kwaye ikwafanayo ekuthatheni inxaxheba ekunikezeleni ngomfanekiso ekuthiwa yahlukile "kubunina obungaqhelekanga", kodwa kugxilwe kudumo kunye nokuzazisa. Ndingabiza ukuba ubukhulu be-ego ("ndiyaxolisa, ndihlwempuzekile", "ubomi bam abunamgangatho, oh yintoni ihlazo") kodwa ndiyayiqonda ngokwembono yabo bahlala ngokuzimela kwaye inkcubeko yokuthanda izinto. Ke ukuba ukuba ngumama oqondayo sisisa esicocekileyo (ngaphandle kwentlungu kunye nobunzima) kwaye oku akuhambelani nehlabathi elingenabuntu, kufuneka sibuye siwuguqule umfanekiso wobumama, kwaye "sikhuphe" bonke ubunzima (ndikuthetha oku ngendlela ehlekisayo, kunjalo)
"Oomama abaguqukayo", ebhalwe sisosayensi yezentlalo UOrna donath, "Mama mnye kuphela" evela kwintatheli USamantha Vilar... Iincwadi nezinye iincwadi ezisixelela ukuba: "ukuba ngumama akukuzalisekisi, leyo yinkohliso", "iintsana azisenzi sonwabe", "akukho mntu wayesilumkisile malunga nobunzulu beemvakalelo ezihlala kubantu abaninzi. iminyaka ", njalo njalo. Ukongeza kwabanye abangoomama abadumileyo abenza iingxelo ezinokudida, kunjalo ngumdlali weqonga UAdriana abenia, kulowo uneentsana onqenayo, kwaye ngubani ocinga ukuba ngubani onomdla wesini.
Ngaphandle kwezimvo zethu, ezantsi kuthi sonke sinayo, kuyamangalisa ukuba ingqalelo ijolise kwiminqweno nakwimbono yomntu omdala. Andithandabuzi ngothando analo nawuphi na umama (odumileyo okanye hayi) kubantwana bakhe; Kodwa sihlala silibale ukuba xa ujongene nokuphoxeka okanye ubunzima, isabelo salo (esothando) kufuneka siphindwe kabini, mhlawumbi leyo yindlela ebhetele kunokwenza iimvakalelo ezibonakalayo njengezonakalisayo njengenguquko, kwaye nangakumbi ukuba ayinaziphumo zonyango. malunga nabani na.
Ngamnye ocinga kwaye uziva njengoko efuna.
Ewe kunjalo, kwenzeka ntoni ngamanye amaxesha sibona inkululeko kwinto ebukhoboka: umzekelo, sinokuba lixhoba lokuzingca kwaye sizame ukwenza imeko, kwaye sithini ngenkululeko eya kusinika ukubona ngaphaya kwethu? Mhlawumbi ukuba ngumama akuyi kukwenza ngakumbi, mhlawumbi ngekhe sibengabafazi ngakumbi ukukhulelwa nokubeleka, mhlawumbi ngekhe kuphakanyiswe nayiphi na iflegi phambi kwezi ngxelo. Kodwa inyani kukuba ukukhulelwa kuhlala kuyimveliso yesigqibo esaziwayo, (nokuba uyathanda okanye awuthandi) uyakuthanda kwaye uzinike ngaphezu kwakho, kwaye oko kukodwa kunexabiso elininzi.
Olo luthando, kwaye luthando ngendlela yalo emsulwa; kwaye kuchasene nokuzingca; ukupha ungalindelanga mbuyekezo kuyinyani koomama (nootata), kodwa yintoni engalunganga ngaloo nto? Uthando alunanto yakwenza nokuzikhanyela, yenye into, kodwa kukho abo bafuna ukuyiguqula kwaye ubonise ukuba into ebalulekileyo yeyakho, hayi eyabanye, kwaye kulapho abantwana baphulukana khona.
Ukuziqhelanisa, ukuba ngumama kunzima.
Kwaye okwangoku, isenokungabi nzima ngenxa yeempawu zokolula, iiyure ezimbalwa zokulala, ukunqongophala kwemfihlo, intaba yeempahla zokuhlamba, ukupeyinta okungahambanga kakuhle okujongeka kukubi kuthi, ii-kilos ezi-2 ezingaphezulu hamba kuba abanalo.Sinexesha lokubaleka ...
Ukuba ngqwabalala kunokuba nesizathu sokuba lilolo, ukugula kosana, ukukhathazeka kweengxaki zomntwana xa sele ekhulile, ukubandezeleka konyana okwishumi elivisayo ongamkelekanga kubahlobo bakhe, okanye kwintombazana eneminyaka eli-15 ekufuneka ibuyile nge-12, kwaye yintsimbi yesithathu ekuseni ingekabikho. Ngokwenza oko siyakulibala ukuba silala iiyure ezi-3 yonke imihla, kodwa ukuba abantwana bethu bayasokola siza kuvuka singakhange silale, kuba sibathanda kakhulu kangangokuba nokuba asibakhuseli ngokugqithisileyo, sifuna ukuba baphile.
Kuthekani ukuba yonke loo nto ibincitshiswa ukuba ibe lilindelo lomntu?
Andinayo impendulo, kodwa kubonakala kucacile ukuba emva kokuduka koluntu lwendalo (abasetyhini baseNtshona abasasahlali kwizizwe), nasemva kokuba siyekile ukuhlala kwiintsapho ezandisiweyo, ubuqu buqhutywa simahla. Asimameli, asijongi, asiceli ncedo, ... Xa ndifunda ingxelo efana nale bendiyikhankanyile ekuqaleni, ndicinga ukuba "eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukufumana udumo".
Ngokubhekisele kulindelo, kucacile kum: uninzi lwethu lucinga ukuba ngumama, inyani yenye into, kodwa ngethamsanqa amandla ethu okuziqhelanisa nokusinceda ukuba siphucule, kwaye anokusinceda ukuba sibengcono nabantwana bethu. Kuba ayisiyiyo le nto iyiyo? Kuyinyani ukuba ukuzikhathalela kufuneka siphile, Kodwa ngaba kufuneka sitsho esidlangalaleni ukuba sibi kwaye siyazisola ngokuba nabantwana ukuze siphile?
Ngayiphi na imeko, ndingazisola ngokungabe ndiphinde ndilwe ukuze olu hlanga lube ngcono kubo nakubo bonke abantu ngokubanzi, ngamaxesha endiziphethe kakubi ngawo, yokungazi ukuba ndibaqonda njani, njl. Kodwa andizisoli, kodwa ndiza kukhula.