Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana kunye nolutsha bayayeka ukuthetha kwiimeko ezithile zentlalo, ngakumbi nabantu abangaphandle kwendalo. Kwelinye icala, kwezinye iimeko bahlala kakuhle. Namhlanje sichaza ukuba kutheni le nto Ukukhetha ukungaguquki ekukhetheni abantwana nakwishumi elivisayo, yintoni ngenxa kwaye iphathwa njani.
Yintoni i-mutism ekhethiweyo?
Ukukhetha ukungaguquki kukhetho Ingxaki yabantwana kunye nokufikisa ibonakaliswe ngengxaki yokuthintela intetho edla ngokuqala kwisikolo sabantwana abasaqalayo. Iphawuleka, nangona inamandla okuthetha ngokugqibeleleyo, Ugqiba ekubeni ungathethi nabantu ongabathembiyo kwimeko ezithile.
Ihlala iphosakele ngenxa yeentloni ezigqithileyo, kodwa sisifo esidibene noxinzelelo loo nto inokuba ngumqobo kakhulu kubantwana kunxibelelwano lwabo lwentlalo nakwindlela abaqhuba ngayo esikolweni, kwaye oko kube nefuthe elibi ekukhuleni kwabo ngokuchanekileyo. Abantwana abanokhetho lokukhetha ukunganyanzelekanga bathande ukuba neentloni, ukungazithembi (kodwa akusoloko) betyekele kuxinzelelo.
Xa bekwimeko yokhuseleko kunye nokuthembana, bayathetha kwaye banxibelelane ngokugqibeleleyo. Kodwa endaweni yezinye iimeko kubonakala ngathi baphulukana namandla okuthetha. Yimpendulo yoxinzelelo abaziva benoxinzelelo olukhulu kwaye abayazi indlela yokulawula, kwaye iyabathintela ekunxibelelaneni ngesiqhelo. Oku kuziphatha kukonyusa ukungonwabi kwakhe, kuba eziva ejongiwe kwaye egwetywe ngokungalunganga, nto leyo eyonyusa uxinzelelo.
Abanye abantwana bayaluphepha unxibelelwano lomlomo kodwa bakhulise ezinye iindlela zonxibelelwano ezinje ngokuthambo okanye intshukumo yentloko, isebe, ... kuya kuxhomekeka kwinqanaba abachaphazeleka sesi sifo. Esi sifo sihlala sidideka neentloni, ubundlobongela, ukungangenisi, ukungabi namdla, ubukrwada, ... njalo aba bantwana baziva bengaqondwa kakhulu kunye nokuzithemba kwabo kuyasokola.
Yintoni unobangela wokhetho olukhethiweyo?
Ukukhetha ukungaguquguquki kokukhetha kukuphazamiseka okunesizathu esinye, kodwa kuchatshazelwa zizinto ezininzi. Ezona zinto zibangela ezengqondo, ikakhulu inxulunyaniswa noxinzelelo. Ujongane nemeko apho umntwana ayitolika njengesoyikiso, esoyika ukugwetywa ngabanye okanye anganiki mpendulo ifanelekileyo, ufumana amaxhala kunye noloyiko kangangokuba avaliwe kwaye amandla akhe okuthetha abonakala ngathi ayanyamalala. Yindlela umntwana okanye umntwana ofikisayo ekufuneka ejongane ngayo noloyiko.
Uninzi lwabantwana banokuba noxinzelelo kwiimeko ezingaqhelekanga kodwa ayingabo bonke ababonisa ukungakhethi, kutheni le nto? Ewe, inqanaba eliphezulu loxinzelelo lidityaniswa nolwazelelo kuxinzelelo, ngamanye amaxesha oludityaniswa neentloni, ukurhoxa, uxinzelelo lokwahlulahlula kunye ne-phobia yentlalo. Sisiphumo semfuza kunye nokusingqongileyo, ebakhokelela ekubeni baphendule ngale ndlela kuxinzelelo.
Luthini unyango lwesi sifo?
Uvavanyo lwengqondo luya kuvumela Hlalutya zonke izinto kunye nemiba eziphembelela imvelaphi kunye nokugcinwa kwengxaki. Uvavanyo kufuneka luqokelele:
- Imbali yendaleko yomntwana, ukusukela ekukhulelweni ukuza kuthi ga ngoku.
- Uvavanyo lwenqanaba labo lokuqonda.
- Uvavanyo lobuntu kunye nolungelelwaniso lwezinto.
- Izakhono zakho zentlalo.
- Izakhono zakho zeemvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha.
- Unxibelelwano nezakhono zolwimi.
- Izinto eziguquguqukayo kusapho, uhlobo losapho, isitayile semfundo, unxibelelwano losapho, ...
Unyango luya kugxila phatha uxinzelelo oluphezulu uziva ntoni umntwana kwezi meko, Isimo sosapho kwezi meko (ezi meko zihlala ziqinisiwe ngaphandle kwenjongo) kwaye ziyasebenza ukungabikho kokhuseleko komntwana kwindawo engaqhelekanga. Ukuba siyabanyanzela abantwana ukuba bathethe kwezi meko kwaye sijolise kuyo, sondla ukuthula kwabo kunokuba bakuphathe kwaye ayizukuvelisa nto. Ukwazi oku kuya kusivumela ukuba sishenxise izinto ezigcina esi sifo kwaye siziguqulele abanye ezifanelekileyo umntwana.
Kuba khumbula ... Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba umntwana wakho unokhetho lokukhetha ukuba yedwa, kuyacetyiswa ukuba umse kwingcali ukuze ahlole imeko yakhe kwaye athathe amanyathelo afanelekileyo.