Imibuzo eli-10 emnandi yokuthetha nomntwana wakho yonke imihla

Ukuphucula unxibelelwano nabantwana akusoloko kungumsebenzi olula okanye olula. Abazali abaninzi bavakalelwa kukuba abakwazi ukufumana amagama angaphezu kwamabini okanye amathathu kubantwana babo ukuze baqhubeke bencokola nje ngendlela eqhelekileyo. Nangona liyinyaniso elokuba abantwana babuza imibuzo emininzi, abasoloko befuna ukuphendula imibuzo yabazali babo. Kodwa kukho rhoqo iindlela zokufumanisa kunye nezixhobo ezininzi zokuqalisa incoko entle kunye nabancinci. Yiyo loo nto namhlanje sicebisa imibuzo eli-10 eyonwabisayo yokuthetha nomntwana wakho yonke imihla.

Ngaba uye wothuswa sesi siphakamiso? Ingaba eyona nto ibalulekileyo apha asikokuba kukho imibuzo elishumi kodwa kukuba malunga neshumi elinesibini lemibuzo ekufuneka iphendulwe yonke imihla? Onjani wona umsebenzi wokuqalisa incoko! Kutheni le meko? Funda kwaye ufumanise.

Yabelana ngemibuzo yonke imihla nomntwana wakho

Abantwana abancinci bayakwazi ukubuza imibuzo engaphezu kwama-300 ngosuku. Ufunde ngokuchanekileyo: 300. Kukho izinto ezininzi abafuna ukuzifumana kwaye bazazi kuloo minyaka yokuqala yobomi. Kodwa olu gqatso lolwazi alupheli emva kobuntwana. Abantwana bakhula kwaye baphuhlise, baqala ukuphuhlisa iingxoxo kunye nokuzoba inferences, ukubuza iimeko, ukufumanisa izinto kwakhona, ukufumana iimbono ezintsha. Imibuzo ayipheli ukuba kukho unxibelelwano olulungileyo olusekiweyo.

Ngenxa yesi sizathu, kufuneka uphendule imibuzo ebuzwa ngumntwana wakho - ngamnye kubo - ukuze usebenze kwijelo elihle lokunxibelelana naye. Umjelo oza kuqiniswa njengoko ukhula. Xa uphendula imibuzo yabo, ulinganisa ulwakhiwo oluhle lwencoko oluya kukusebenzela kakuhle kwixesha elizayo xa ufuna ukuba nencoko eshukumayo nomntwana wakho.

Kanye njengokuba thina njengootata nomama siphendula imibuzo yabantwana bethu, nabo bamele bafunde ukuphendula eyethu, ukuze incoko ihambisane. Abantwana baxelisa amazwi abazali babo, indlela abazenza ngayo izinto, indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Ke ngoko, luluvo oluhle ukusuka kwiklasikhi; belunjani usuku? Yaye ube neminye imibuzo ngasemva ukuze ukwazi ukubuza abantwana nokukhuthaza unxibelelwano oluhle.

Iimeko zemibuzo

Ngaba uyayifuna imizekelo? Musa ukulahlekelwa iinkcukacha, kukho iifomula ezininzi zokuphucula incoko kunye nabantwana kwaye le mibuzo elishumi emnandi yokuthetha nomntwana wakho yonke imihla ibeka inkqubo yemihla ngemihla enothando kakhulu kwaye kulula ukuyisebenzisa. Kwaye xa sithetha ngeefomula sibhekisa kwizikhewu ezincinci ezigcinwe ukuze incoko yondliwe.

Kunokwenzeka ukudala amaxesha akhethekileyo ukuzisa eso sicwangciso ebomini. Xa kufikwa kubantwana abancinci, ixesha lokuhlamba yeyona ndawo ifanelekileyo ukuqala ngemibuzo elishumi. Igumbi lokuhlambela ekwabelwana ngalo liyindawo yokudlala apho abantwana bazolile kwaye banandipha umzuzu. Sisahluko esinomdla kakhulu ukuvula umdlalo kwingxoxo, ukubuza malunga nosuku, imisebenzi yabo yemihla ngemihla, isikolo okanye i-kindergarten. Lixesha apho ukuba uthe waqaphela into engaqhelekanga kwinkangeleko okanye ekuziphatheni komntwana omncinci, unokuphanda ngemibuzo ethile eya kukunceda ukuba uphendule ngemeko ethile. Ngaphandle kwesibakala sokuba abazali bafuna ukuphanda ngemibandela ethile, akuyomfuneko ukuba imibuzo iyeke ukuba mnandi.

Ukubaluleka kokusekwa kwengxoxo

Kulula ngakumbi ukungena kwisihloko kwaye ujike kolunye uhlobo lwencoko yababini. Umdlalo uhlala uyindlela elungileyo yokungena kwingxoxo. Nokuba kukuhamba nzulu okanye iincoko ezilula. Kubalulekile ukuyeka ukukholelwa ukuba ukuthetha ngezinto ezinzulu kufuneka ubuze imibuzo enzulu kwaye uqonde. Amaxesha amaninzi kuyimfuneko ukufunda ukulawula, ngakumbi xa sithetha ngendalo yonke yobuntwana. Kukho abantwana abavalayo xa kukho into eyenzekayo kubo kwaye kuphela ngemibuzo enobubele kunye "nokudlala" abakwaziyo ukuvula umdlalo.

Ukuseka incoko elungileyo kunye nabantwana, okokuqala kuyimfuneko ukudala ikhonkco lokuthembana, loo "ntambo ebomvu" edumileyo ekuthethwa ngayo kakhulu. Kwaye olo manyano lwenziwa mihla le, lunemibuzo eyonwabisayo onokuyixoxa nomntwana wakho yonke imihla, neengxoxo ezithetha ngobomi bemihla ngemihla kodwa zidlulela ngaphaya kobomi bemihla ngemihla. Kwaye loo ndlela eya kwincoko yababini iqala kwasebuncinaneni de abantwana babe ngabantu abadala. Ewe, xa ikhonkco lisungulwe, kwaye uhlobo lwe "conversation contract" kunzima ukubuyela umva. Kungenzeka ukuba ngexesha lokufikisa, abantu abancinci bahoxise kancinane kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba ukuba kukho ibhondi eyomeleleyo ngaphambili, iya kuphinda iqalise ikhondo layo.

Imibono yemibuzo emnandi

Ngaba ulahlekile imibono? Ngaba ufuna ezinye izindululo ucinge ngabanye kamva? Ewe, nantsi eminye yemibuzo eyonwabisayo onokuthetha ngayo nomntwana wakho yonke imihla onokuthi uyiphumeze:

• Ngaba uyayithanda into oyiphuphileyo phezolo?
• Yintoni ekonwabise kakhulu namhlanje?
• Ngubani amagama abahlobo bakho?
• Ukuba unokwenza nantoni na ngoku, ubuya kwenza ntoni?
• Yeyiphi imizobo oyithanda kakhulu?
• Yintoni oyenzileyo esikolweni namhlanje oyithandayo kunezinye iintsuku?
• Ukuba izilwanyana zakho ezifakiweyo zingathetha, bangathini kuwe?
• Yintoni ekwenza ubulele namhlanje?
• Yintoni ongathanda ukuyenza ukuze uzive ungcono ngoku?
• Zinto zini ezintathu onqwenela ukuzenza ngempelaveki?

Njengoko ubona, kukho imibuzo eli-10 kuphela, imibuzo elula kodwa enamandla okuqalisa incoko nomncinci wakho. Ukuba ujongisisa, uya kuqaphela ukuba le yimibuzo evulelekileyo. Imibuzo evulelekileyo yileyo iimpendulo zayo zingakhokeleli ku “ewe” okanye “hayi” olula. Ngokuchasene noko, bavula umdlalo ukwandisa kumxholo. Bade banike imibuzo emitsha ukuqhubeka nesihloko. Imibuzo evulelekileyo ngamahlakani amahle xa kufikwa ekubuzeni usuku ngalunye kunye nokubandakanyeka kwincoko nomntwana wakho, njengoko bekuvumela ukuba uvelise izihloko suku ngalunye. Kunokwenzeka ukuba ngaphambi kokuba uphendule, ungagcina umbuzo omtsha ngosuku olulandelayo.

Ngokukhetha imibuzo evulekileyo, incoko yababini ayipheli kwaye inika indlela kwincoko entsha. Uya kuqaphela nokuba kukho iintsuku apho ungakwazi ukuzalisekisa imibuzo elishumi ecwangcisiweyo kuba enye yayo ikhokelele kweminye imibuzo ezenzekelayo. Kwezo meko, zigcinele usuku olulandelayo.

Funda ukunxibelelana nemibuzo

Kwaye ukuba imalunga nokuphonononga imibuzo ethile, ungasoloko uqala ngaloo mibuzo ilishumi ukuthetha nomntwana wakho yonke imihla kwaye uphande eminye imibuzo. Njengomaleko wetswele, unxibelelwano aluyonto ngaphandle kwekhonkco, ubudlelwane phakathi komthumeli kunye nomamkeli ngomyalezo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ke ayikuko ukuba uyintoni na umyalezo kodwa ikhonkco elimiselwe phakathi komthumeli nomamkeli ngalo myalezo, waloo ncoko yababini. Ngale ndlela, ukuqwalasela kubaluleke kakhulu, ngakumbi kwabo babuzayo.

Ngokutsho kwethiyori yonxibelelwano, ukuba sicinga ngengxoxo njengekhonkco phakathi komthumeli kunye nomamkeli, kubalulekile ukunikela ingqalelo kummkeli, kuba ubambe indawo ephambili kule ngxoxo. Ngumntu esifuna ukufumana kuye inkcazelo, umntu esifuna umyalezo okanye umbuzo wethu ufikelele kuye, umntu esizama ukuwenza nzulu ulwalamano lwethu naye.

Ngale ngqiqo, into esiyithethayo ibaluleke ngokufanayo nendlela esithetha ngayo. Umzimba wethu, inkangeleko yethu, ithoni yelizwi, amagama esiwakhethayo, umzuzu esiwukhethayo, zonke zinkcukacha ezenza unxibelelwano. Kwelinye icala, kubalulekile ukujonga indlela asabela ngayo ummkeli kakuhle kakhulu: usabela njani kwimibuzo? Ulibeka njani ilizwi lakhe? Ngaba uthethela phezulu okanye uphendula kancinane? Ngaba uphendula kwangoko okanye uthathe ixesha lakho? Zininzi izinto eziguquguqukayo ezisemngciphekweni kunxibelelwano nangakumbi xa kufikelelwa ekusekweni kolwalamano phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Okukhona sibajonga abancinci, kokukhona siya kuba sandise incoko yababini imihla ngemihla.

Imibuzo yolonwabo kunye nolutsha

Yaye ngaba eli cebo liyaphindwa xa kufikwa kulutsha olufikisayo? Lo mbuzo uphindaphindwa kakhulu. Ukususela kwiminyaka eli-11 okanye eli-12 ubudala, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba iqhina eliphakathi kwabazali nabantwana liguquke, ngenxa yokungena kwiminyaka yangaphambi kweshumi elivisayo nasemva kwexesha lokufikisa. Ukusukela kweli nqanaba ukuya phambili, abantwana abaninzi baziva benemibuzo efana nezinkempe kwaye bazive benemvakalelo ethile yokungena kubomi babo babucala. Kunanini na ngaphambili kufuneka ube nesinqe ukukhetha umzuzu, indawo, indlela yokubuza.

Kodwa oku akuwususi umdlalo osekiweyo. Nakweli nqanaba, ungaqala kulo mdlalo wemibuzo eli-10 eyonwabisayo ukuthetha nomntwana wakho yonke imihla. Umahluko kule meko kukuba mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka ulumke ngakumbi xa ucinga malunga nexesha kunye nendawo yokuzenza. Ukwenzela ukuba umdlalo wenzeke ngexesha apho abantwana babenokwamkela kwaye bavuleleke ekungeneni kwingxoxo. Ezinye izimvo zifika engqondweni kweli nqanaba linzima.

Iimeko ezinokubakho zokubuza umntwana wakho imibuzo

Into yokuqala kukucinga malunga nezo ziqhelo eziphindaphindiweyo ebomini kunye nabantwana bethu. Unokwenza uluhlu nabanye babo. Mhlawumbi kukukhwela imoto ukuya esikolweni rhoqo kusasa. Okanye ngeMigqibelo xa abantwana bedlala ibhola okanye ihoki kunye nomzuzu owabelwana ngawo emva komdlalo. Kukho abazali abahamba rhoqo kunye nabantwana babo abafikisayo okanye babelane ngomsebenzi othile.

Into ebalulekileyo kukudala loo mzuzu ukhethekileyo apho omabini amaqela, ehleli kwaye mhlawumbi ngaphandle kwamagama, azi ukuba lixesha lokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo. Ukuba, kwelinye icala, uvakalelwa kukuba umntwana uyavala ngaphambi kokuba abuze imibuzo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kumnandi kangakanani na, musa ukunyanzelisa. Linda ixesha elilunge ngakumbi. Xa le nkqubo incinane yobomi bemihla ngemihla isekiwe, kusenokwenzeka ukuba phezu kwawo nje amahla ndinyuka okufikisa, amakhwenkwe namantombazana aya kuyivulela le ncoko yababini ngenxa yokuba sele iyinxalenye yendalo yomanyano olusekwe nabazali bawo.

Uyakwazi ukubuza imibuzo eyahlukahlukeneyo, unokuthetha ngomculo, izihloko abathetha ngazo ii-youtubers, iminqweno yabo, indlela ababona ngayo ihlabathi okanye indlela abangathanda ukuba abahlobo babo babe ngayo. Unokwenza ukuba ahlekise ngokumema ngemibuzo emmema ukuba akhethe ukhetho phakathi kwezindululo ezigqithisileyo kwaye anike izizathu zokhetho okanye umbuze imibuzo ukuze ayile eminye imibuzo kwiping pong yemibuzo ephambeneyo kunye neempendulo phendulani nobabini. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba i-dialogue yenzeke ngenjongo yokuzonwabisa, kuba ukusuka kuloo ndawo iqalayo kunokwenzeka ukuba uhlolisise kwimixholo enzulu okanye engaphezulu. Kodwa ukuba umkhenkce awuqalanga ukuphulwa ngencoko emnandi kunye neyonwabileyo eyamkela umntwana ofikisayo, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukuqhubela phambili kwezinye iindawo kamva.