Ukuphazamiseka kwibhondi: intambo ebuthathaka, engabonakaliyo kunye enamandla othando

Iqala nini ukubumbana loo nto phakathi komama nomntwana? Singatsho ngaphandle kwempazamo Kuzo zonke iinyanga ezili-9 zokukhulelwa, le bhondi ifumana ifom kunye nomcimbi ngentambo yombambo. Umanyano lufezekile, luyahambelana kwaye luyasebenza: ukutya, imvakalelo, ukuzola kunye nokukhuseleka kuyadluliselwa.

Ngoku, masicinge, umzekelo, "ngesenzo sokuzalwa." Namhlanje, ukuzalwa kumaziko amaninzi kuye kwaba luthotho "lwezikhokelo zomgaqo-nkqubo" apho ukuza emhlabeni kunokuba yinto ebuhlungu ngokwenene. Usana olusandula kuzalwa luthwalwa ukusuka kwesinye isandla luye kolunye kunye nasemva kwexesha elifutshane, luyahlanjwa ukuze kususwe yonke imizila yenkqubo esondeleyo phakathi kukamama nomntwana. Umama nomntwana bayadingana emva kokubeleka, kwaye oku kunokuba sisiqalo-okanye ukuqiniswa- kwelo bond ukuba emva "kokuqhawuka komtya" usimema ukuba senze olunye uhlobo lwebhondi ejolise ekunikezeleni ngonxibelelwano oluvuthiweyo, oluluncedo noluthandekayo ngayo, ukunika ihlabathi abantwana abakhuselekileyo ukuba baphonononge ihlabathi kwaye bafezekise amaphupha abo. kwi "Madres Hoy» sikuxelele ngayo.

Ingxaki yokudibanisa kunye nokubopha okungabonakaliyo

Xa kuziwa ekuthetheni ngokudibana okanye ukudibanisa, Abantu abaninzi bagcina umbono wokuba ezi ntlobo zeekhonsepthi zonke abazifumanayo yi «mkhusele kakhulu umntwana«. Ngoku, kufuneka uyidibanise le mifanekiso kancinci. Ukuncamathisela, okanye ukudibana okuqinileyo phakathi kukamama nomntwana, ayisiyontambo ebophayo okanye elawula abantwana bethu njengoonopopi.

I-bond yinto engabonakaliyo kwaye kukuqinisekisa kwakhona kwinyathelo ngalinye elithathwa ngabantwana bethu, nokuba sikunye nabo okanye akunjalo, bayathandwa, bayathandwa kwaye siyazithemba kubo. Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba nawaphi na amava athi umntwana awenze ngokungalunganga, nokuba kuzelwe okanye nangawuphi na umzuzu ebuntwaneni bakhe, uthatha into ebhalwe kwinqanaba lobuchopho kunye nemvakalelo eyenziweyo eya kumthintela ekuziqhelaniseni nokusingqongileyo ngokufanelekileyo.

Siyazi ukuba yinto entsonkothileyo kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke kubuthathaka, ngakumbi kuba utata, umama, akaze ayiqonde okanye ayiqonde zeziphi izinto esizenzayo ezinokuchaphazela kakubi abantwana bethu, zibangele oko kwaziwa ngokuba sisifo sokuqina. Makhe siyibone ngokweenkcukacha.

Amava abuhlungu ebutsheni

Ukuphazamiseka kwibhondi kunemvelaphi yayo ikakhulu kwezi ntlobo zamava esinokuthi sonke siwachaze: ukushiya, ukungabikho kothando, ukungabinakho ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo, ukuxhatshazwa ...

Konke oku akuvelisi kuphela iingxaki ezinzulu kukhuseleko lweemvakalelo zomntwana, kuyaziwa oko La mava abuhlungu anokukhokelela kulibaziseko lokuvuthwa, iingxaki zokuziphatha ezinjengomsindo, ukuba ndlongondlongo, uxinzelelo ...

Amanye amava oomama nootata abawazi (ngamaxesha athile)

Uninzi lwethu luthwala ngasemva oko sikholelwa kuko, kufuneka ukuba lube "lolawulo olwaneleyo" malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukukhulisa umntwana ngolonwabo. Sifunda iincwadi, siziqeqesha, sinamava osapho, abahlobo kwanokuba kutheni kungenjalo, sele sinomntwana kwaye sicinga ukuba olandelayo "uya kufana."

kunjalo, Ukudakumba kungabonakala komnye wabantwana bethu kodwa kungabonakali komnye. Kwaye oonobangela banokubalula kwaye bengaqondakali.

• Iintsana ekufuneka zichithe ixesha kumava okufukama, umzekelo, ikhefu lokuqala kunye noonina, elinokuthi kwiimeko ezininzi libe neziphumo.
• Ukushiya abantwana kukhathalelo lwemini besebancinci kakhulu kunokubakho njengobunzima. (Kungenzeka ukuba omnye wabazalwana wayifumana njengesiqhelo, kodwa endaweni yoko, komnye yayiyeyona nto ibuhlungu).
• Iiyure ezichithwa ngoomama nootata kude nekhaya emsebenzini nazo zinokubangela ukubandezeleka kwingqondo yomntwana.

Iimpawu zesifo sokuqina

Ngoku ekubeni sisazi ukuba iimeko ezithile zinokuba nefuthe leemvakalelo kunye nezoyikisayo kwabanye abantwana kodwa hayi kwabanye, masibone ngoku ukuba sinokuyibona njani imihla ngemihla.

• Abantwana basoloko besivavanya befuna ukusondela kunye nothando lwethu.
• Bahlala beveza utshintsho oluninzi, ngomzuzu omnye bayathandana, kwaye okwesibini bayadubula ngokuhlaselwa ngumsindo nobukhali.
• Banomona, basinika iziphelo ezinje "ukuba uya emsebenzini kungenxa yokuba awundithandi." Zikwimeko ezihlawuliswe kakhulu oomama nootata, kwaye zingumthombo woxinzelelo oluqhubekayo.
• Kuqhelekile nokuba abantwana bahlukanise ukuphazamiseka kwibhondi ngentloko, iingxaki zokugaya ukutya, i-enuresis ...
• Kwimeko yokungayifaki intambo okanye yokunxibelelana nokuziphatha ngendlela ephosakeleyo kunye nezinye izizathu ezinobungozi njengokuba "umntwana wonakele", inokuqhubela phambili kuxinzelelo lwangaphambili, ukuba kancinci kancinci, iya kusijula ​​eso sidalwa kwimeko apho siyakudinga ingqalelo yengcali kungekudala okanye kamva. Kubalulekile ukugcina oku engqondweni.

Yondla abantwana bakho uthando kunye noloyiko luya kulamba.

Ukubaluleka kokuncamathisela

Namhlanje, Thetha ngokuncamathisela, ngamaxesha athile, kubangela ukudideka ngenxa yezinye iindlela, yomgca wokomoya ngakumbi apho kudunyiswayo "Ukuncamathela kwinto engunobangela wokubandezeleka", kuba iyasithintela ekuqhubeleni phambili kwinkululeko. Kwangokunjalo, ithiyori efana noWalter Riso kwisincamathiselo esithandanayo ikhusela isidingo sokuphepha lo mbono, kuba ukunamathela kubudlelwane bababini, ngokwale ndlela, kungumthombo wokubandezeleka.

Ke kufuneka sicacise iikhonsepthi. Kule meko sithetha ngokukhuliswa, imfundo, ubudlelwane phakathi kukamama nomntwana kwaye kule meko, ukunamathela kubalulekile ukuze kuthintelwe ukungaboni ngasonye.

UJohn Bowby Wayeyi-psychoanalyst yesiNgesi owathi, enkosi kwiminyaka yakhe yamava kumaziko emfundo nakwezonyango, waqamba into esiyaziyo ngoku ngokuba yi "Theory Attachment."

• Ukuncamathisela kukutyeba kunye namandla oxhulumaniso lweemvakalelo olukhula phakathi komntwana nabazali bakhe (okanye abanonopheli) Uyakwazi ukubonelela ngokhuseleko lweemvakalelo olubalulekileyo kuphuhliso olulungileyo lobuntu.
• Ukuphuhlisa ukunamathela okusempilweni, okukhuselekileyo nokuvuthiweyo nabantwana bethu, kubalulekile ukuba sazi indlela yokucima uloyiko, ukufikeleleka, ukuba ngowona mthombo uphambili wothando, ngaphandle kokukhohlisa, ngaphandle kweentsingiselo eziphindwe kabini, kukuba ngumama notata iiyure ezingama-24 ngemini naxa singekho nabo ngokwasemzimbeni.
• Ukuncamathisela kukuphucula, ukusukela ngexesha lokuzalwa, ulusu lomanyano lomzimba kulusu lukamama kunye nosana (nokuba ligcwele ligazi) eliya kuthi kamva liqhubeke neminyaka yokuncancisa, ngokuwola, nobusuku apho ukuthuthuzela ukulila nokuzala.

Kamva ziya kuza incoko, uncumo olunobubele kunye neempendulo ezizizigidi ezibini kuloo mibuzo yezigidi abasoloko benayo abantwana kuthi. Ukuncamathiselwa, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, sisenzo sokubakho ngokweemvakalelo kwinqanaba ngalinye labantwana bethu, iqhina elikhethekileyo ekufuneka silinakekele, silinyamekele, kwaye silakhe yonke imihla.