Inkwenkwe ibiba imali kubazali bayo
Akufuneki sizibaxe okanye senze umdlalo weqonga xa umntwana esiba, kodwa kufuneka siyilungise ukuze ingabi yinto engaqhelekanga kwaye kube nzima ukoyisa isimilo. Makhe sibone ukuba zintoni Izizathu zokuba umntwana abile kwaye manyathelo mani abazali abafanele ukuwathatha kule meko.
Umxholo wepropathi ebantwaneni
Ukusukela kwiminyaka engama-5 ifumana umxholo wepropathi. Umntwana ebuntwaneni bokuqala uzicingela yedwa, akawazi amalungelo epropathi yezinto ezizezabanye. Nangona kunjalo, unengqondo ephucukileyo yokuba nelifa.
Uthanda ukudlala nabanye abantwana, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uzama ukubalungisa. Akakaqondi ukuba ayingobakhe kwaye ukuzithatha akulunganga. Kule minyaka akunakwenzeka ukuba uthethe ngobusela kuba bengabazi.
Imalunga neminyaka emihlanu xa eqala ukuqonda umxholo wepropathi kunye nokuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba. Ukusukela kweli xesha langoku kuye phambili, kufuneka aqonde ngokupheleleyo ukuba akanako ukuthatha izinto ezingezizo ezakhe kwaye, ukuba abazali benza njalo, kufuneka bacace gca kwaye bangqongqo, mazise ukuba uyeba kwaye abayamkeli indlela aziphethe ngayo. .
Unobangela wokuba umntwana ebe
Izizathu zahlukile kakhulu kwaye umntwana ngamnye uyenza ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo, masijonge ezinye zezona zinto zihlala zibangela:
- Yenza ngokuqhutywa yimpembeleloXa efuna into engeyoyakhe, akakwazi ukulawula impembelelo kwaye aphele ethatha le nto ayifunayo. Oku kuhlala kwenzeka kwezinye izinto zokudlala zabantwana okanye xa usiya evenkileni.
- Ukwamkelwa ngabahlobo bakho. Le yimeko yabantwana abebayo kuba abahlobo babo besenza, baxelisa le ndlela yokuziphatha ukuze bangalahlwa.
- Ukufumana ingqalelo yabazali baboBahlala bengabantwana abaneziphene kwiimvakalelo.
- Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba ilawulwa ngendlela engafanelekanga, unenkululeko engaphaya kokuqonda okukhokelela ekubeni ucinge ukuba ungafumana yonke into oyifunayo.
- Ngobundlongondlongo, injongo yobusela asiyonto ibiweyo kodwa kukoyikisa umniniyo okanye ukumenzakalisa.
- Njengophawu lwenkathazo iimvakalelo okanye isimilo.
Unokwenza ntoni xa umntwana ebe?
Okwangoku abazali xa beqaphela ukuba umntwana wabo uyeba, kufuneka bathathe amanyathelo okusombulula le ndlela yokuziphatha.
- Kubalulekile ukuba abazali bachaze ukuba ubusela kubangela ukwenzakala kwabanye abantu, ukubabandeza into eyeyabo kwaye ke sisimo sengqondo esibi.
- Abantwana kufuneka Cacisa malunga nomxholo wobunini. Abazali kufuneka benze umntwana wabo ajongane nale nyani kwangoko ngokumenza abuyisele into ebiweyo kumniniyo, nokuba ngumhlobo okanye lishishini.
- Mbonise oko abayithandi indlela aziphethe ngayo, ukuba nomsindo kuye nokumenza aqonde ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ayichanekanga, kwaye kufuneka ayilungise.
- Sukucaphukisa nomntwana, ukuphepha ukumtyhola "ngesela."
- Ukuba ubusela benzeka kwimeko yeqela okanye leqela lemigulukudu, kufuneka simcenge umntwana ukuba alishiye iqela kwaye nakweyiphi na imeko sithethe nabazali babanye abantwana ukuba Ukujongana nengxaki kunye.
- Ukuba utyekelo lokweba luyaqhubeka kwaye luyinto eqhelekileyo, abazali bafanele thetha nengcali yezengqondo yomntwana.
Ncoma ukuziphatha okunyanisekileyo
Ukuba siyayibona loo nto ilawula umnqweno wokuthatha izinto ezingezizo ezakho, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuyincoma le ndlela uziphethe ngayo, kuba ngale ndlela siza kuba sincedisa ekuguqulweni kwendlela yokuziphatha yokuba. Kwangokunjalo, ukomeleza le ndlela yokuziphatha, kufuneka simxelele ukuba sinebhongo kangakanani ngokuziphatha kwakhe.
Ukukhuthaza isimilo esinyanisekileyo kuye, akufuneki siziphephe iimeko aqhele ukuba kuzo. Ke, umzekelo, ukuba umntwana ngaphambili wayekhe wathatha imali okanye enye into kusapho, akufuneki siyifihle kodwa senze ngokwendalo kwaye simenze ajongane nesilingo, okoko nje sibona utshintsho oluqinisekileyo kutyekelo lwakhe lobusela. Njengoko umntwana ebonisa ukunyaniseka kwakhe, kufuneka siyiqonde kwaye ncoma utshintsho lwakho kwisimo sakho sengqondo.
Molo, ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo ngolwazi olunika abazali, njengam, banqwenela ukukhangela izisombululo kwiingxaki zabantwana bethu, intombi yam ineminyaka eli-11 ubudala kwaye ihlala indiba kum ngaphandle kwentetho kunye nezohlwayo, abanye abayithandi iyafundisisa, ndiza kubeka ingcebiso yakho emva koko ndiza kukuxelela ngayo. Sukuyeka ukusinceda siyakudinga Enkosi!
Ndicinga ukuba konke oku kulungile kakhulu kuba abazali banokufunda kuyo indlela yokuhoya, ukukhusela kunye nokusindisa kwingozi enjengobusela
Molweni, ndinenkwenkwana eneminyaka esi-8 ubudala, ithathe imali ngaphezu kwesihlandlo esinye, ndithethile ndisohlwaya ngokuthatha ikhollation yakhe kwaye sele ndimbethile kodwa uyaphinda, andazi ukuba mandithini.
Ndinonyana oneminyaka esi-7 ubudala, owebile imali ngaphezulu kwamaxesha ama-2, okokuqala ndakuqonda, ndamohlwaya ngaphandle kokumnika imali iveki, ndathetha naye ukuba kwakungalunganga, kwaye bendicinga ukuba ndisifundile isifundo, kodwa namhlanje ndimfumene kwakhona imali engeyoyakhe, uphinde wandixokisa kwaye yandikhathaza kakhulu kangangokuba ndamnika ii-manosos ezimbini, ndiyazi ukuba andenzi kakuhle, kodwa ndi ochaphazelekayo ukohlwaya nokuthetha naye akazange asebenze kwaphela, kufuneka ndenze ntoni?
Ndifuna umntu oza kundinceda, ndinabantwana aba-3, ongaphantsi kweminyaka eli-10 uhlala ekuseni nommelwane omkhathaleleyo kude kube ngu-13: 00 ngokuhlwa esiya esikolweni, ndiyeba i-3.000 yeepes kuye kwaye andiyenzi ' Andazi ukuba ndenze njani ukuba ndimohlwaye njani andazi, nceda, ndifuna uncedo olukhawulezileyo
Molo, ndinonyana oneminyaka eyi-10 kwaye ndizama ukumfundisa kangangoko kunokwenzeka, kodwa namhlanje ndithatha imali ebiyintlawulo yokuhamba kwakhe kwaye ndiyichitha ngaphandle kokukhathalela ukuba loo mali yenzelwe enye into, kwaye wandixelela malunga noxolo olungenakuqonda ukuba awuqondi ukuba kunzulu kangakanani ukuthatha imali engeyoyakho okanye awazi ngenene ukuba ayilunganga Kokokuqala ukuba wenze kwaye ndiphendule kakubi, ndimele ndenze ntoni ukuze ungaphindi
Molo, ndinentombazana eneminyaka eyi-7 ehlala iba imali kum, ixelela ubuxoki obuninzi, ayifuni kutya ukutya, iilekese kuphela kwaye ayifuni kufunda into endiyenzayo ndicela undincede nceda
Molo, umyeni wam unentombi eneminyaka eyi-7 kwaye weza ezokuchitha nathi iiholide kwaye wamkeleka kakhulu ukusuka apho kodwa ndaqonda ukuba uthathe imali kunye nobucwebe kodwa kuye kwaba yimizuzu nje embalwa, xa mbuze lonto uyenzile, uyandiphika yonke into aqumbe asole abantu abakhoyo
Yintoni esinokuyenza ukuze ingaphinde yenzeke le ntombazana, asazi ukuba singayohlwaya njani
Molweni nonke! Ndixinezeleke kakhulu kuba intombazana yam eneminyaka eli-10 ubudala iyathanda ukuba izinto, amaxesha ngamaxesha iba imali, kodwa uninzi lwamaxesha zizinto ezingabalulekanga njengezinto zokudlala ezingabalulekanga, iincwadana, iincwadana ezincinci kwaye xa ibile imali yeyona inayo ezibiweyo ziipeso ezili-10. Uyazisola kwangoko kwaye ayithathi iintsuku ezimbini xa endixelela ukuba ndihlambe iinyembezi kwaye athembisa ukuba akazukuphinda ayenze, ujongeka njengekhekhe kwaye ndiyazi ukuba unyanisekile kodwa nje ukuba ithuba liziveze uyakwenza oko Ngokuphindaphindiweyo Yinto enye, uyavuma kum ekhala kwaye undixelele nokuba mandimbethe ukuze abone ukuba ngaba uyaphuma na kulo mkhwa aze afunde isifundo kodwa andinabuganga bokumbetha, ke Andazi ukuba ndenzeni ngoba uyayazi into engalunganga ngaphandle koba kunjalo, uyaqhubeka ukuyenza kodwa ndiyazi ukuba uyazisola kwaye uyahlupheka ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe, umntu ndicela undincede, ndithini?
Kubonakala kuyinto eyoyikekayo kuthi bazali kwaye ndiyothuka kakhulu ukufumanisa ukuba eli tyala liqhelekile, ndinomntwana owathi, xa ejika iminyaka eli-11 ubudala, wathatha imali kummelwane, ngenxa yeentloni noloyiko lokumenzakalisa. It, kodwa utata wam sathetha naye (sele ndiqhawule umtshato iminyaka emininzi) yayiyidrama iyonke, kuba akazange akhe aswele nto, mncinci unomzekelo. Ngo-Novemba ugqiba iminyaka eli-12 ubudala kwaye ngeli xesha ebekhupha imali kwihagu yakhe yokonga, bekukho i-S / 150 kwi-S / 20 yeebhili, ngaphandle kwezo ngqekembe (ezingenakukhutshwa) zazinkulu iintlungu Ngokwazi ukuphindaphinda umoni, ndijika intloko kwaye andazi ukuba sesiphi isohlwayo sokumnika kunye nendlela yokusombulula umba, ukuba ungandinika impendulo, ndiya kubulela ngokungapheliyo. Enkosi!
Ndinonyana ona 15 years uhlala ebamba imali engeyoyakhe ,,, sele eyenzile ngemali kamama nangemali yam ,,, ndiyoyika kakhulu .. ndicela iingcebiso or wena Ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka ndimse kwisayikholojisti.
Molo, ndineminyaka eli-10 ubudala kwaye ndinetshomi egama linguKarla kwaye mdala kum kunonyaka kwaye ndiye ndayiqonda lonto uKarla Rova ngoba xa simmemela kwam izinto zanyamalala ngenye imini xa ndandiye kwakhe kwabakhona izinto endizenzayo Ukuba ndithatha izinto zam kuye kwaye xa ndizifaka ebhegini yam, uyazithatha azibuyise kwaye ukuba ndixelele umama wakhe zingabonakalisa ubuhlobo bethu kwaye andazi ukuba ndenzeni ndicela undincede.
Ngoku ndihamba nale meko ndinentombazana eneminyaka eyi-8, bendiqala ukuthetha naye kwaye khange aphinde ayenze kuba bezincinci nje izinto zokuthenga izinto esikolweni kuba akasafuni ukuphatha isidlo sasemini Ufuna ukuthenga evenkileni, kodwa uyayiphatha kakuhle imeko yemali kwaye kuncinci ukulinda utshintsho, andimnikanga mali kodwa ndiyazi ukuba ndim enetyala kuba nokuba ibincinci ndihlawule ingqalelo efanayo ngoku, kuba kutshanje ndithathe iidola ezili-10 engxoweni yam nasemva kokumbuza okuninzi, saqonda kumfundisi-ntsapho ukuba uzise imali esikolweni kwaye wasebenzisa enye yayo, ileta eyomeleleyo ayincamathisele kuye kwaye kufuneka ayifunde yonke imihla, ibonisa uthotho lwezithintelo aya kuthi azigcine kangangeentsuku ezingama-30 kwaye kuxhomekeke ekuziphatheni kwakhe nakwindaleko ngezo ntsuku ekugqibeleni iya kuvavanywa kwaye ziya kubonakala xa isohlwayo sigcinwa okanye ukuba ubuyisa amalungelo akhe kwaye ndimnikile nawoUmthetho ophethwe ngesandla ukuze angaphindi ayenze, ndiza kukuxelela ukuba ihambe njani ixesha lesiphelo.
Molweni inyani ndiphelelwe lithemba. Abantwana bam abayi2 bake bandibela imali. Ngoku umdala uneminyaka eli-17 kwaye uhlala enditsala. Ngoku ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba uneepeso ezingama-3000 XNUMX kwaye ufuna ukuthenga imoto. Ndimbuze kaliwaka kwaye uyandixokisa esithi ndiyayigcina xa ndisazi ukuba ayinakwenzeka. Ndinamashishini kwaye ndafumanisa ukuba ikwavelisa iimveliso ezivela apho. Yintoni endifanele ndiyenze? Ngoku ndikhulelwe phantse ukuba ndingabinayo kwaye andifuni ukwenza iingxaki kodwa oku kuyandikhathaza kakhulu kuba ndiyazi ukuba ndibakhulisele le nto. Ndineentlungu ezininzi kwaye ndinomsindo omkhulu.
Ndiyalubulela uncedo lwakho …… .. Unyana wam oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala uthathe umdlalo wevidiyo kummelwane, waqubisana nabahlobo abaliqela bommelwane esithi makubuyiswe kodwa wala esithi akanawo, bakhangela amangqina awayewathengisela wona, kwaye waqhubeka esala de kwafika kuthi ukubhalisa ikhonsoli yomdlalo kwaye siqinisekise yonke imidlalo ebhalisiweyo, sizifumana sinyanisekile !!! ukuba ebeyidlalile kutshanje .. (ubanga ukuba ummelwane wayemdelela kakhulu esitalatweni nasemaqeleni, ke ngoko wayefuna ukuziphindezela kummelwane wakhe, emenza azive embi) …… NDIMELE UKWENZA NTONI… kakhulu kangangokuba ndamthethelela kangangokuba NDIXAKEKILE KAKHULU ... Ndamxelela ukuba uzokujongana neziphumo kwaye anikezele ngento ebiweyo ... kodwa kwangaxeshanye ndiyoyika ukohlwaywa liqela labamelwane bayaziphatha kakubi. nceda undikhokele… ingaba ndingakuthengisela ikhonsoli yomdlalo?
Ndicinga ukuba unyana wam uthatha imali, mvanje undixelele ukuba uyifumana esitalatweni kwaye unomdla wokuyifumana xa eyedwa kwaye efuna into yokudlala. Nceda ndifuna ingcebiso, sele ndixoxe ngale meko kunye naye kunye nempendulo ngokwayo. Ngombulelo wakho enkosi.
Molo, namhlanje emnyango wesikolo sonyana wam oneminyaka elishumi ubudala, umama unditsalele umnxeba endixelela ukuba unyana wam lixesha lesi-10 ethatha iidola ezili-2 zekhefu. Undixelele ukuba unike unyana wakhe imali emva koko ngeveki ndiyibanga kuye, kuba bekungekho mfuneko yokuba ayibuyise, unyana wam wamtyhola notitshala esithi lo afunda naye uyeba kuye, xa ndithetha nonyana wam uhlala endixelela into enye (ukuba i-kiosk, Ngubani umhlobo, okanye umntu afunda naye enika isoda okanye ilekese) ekhala efunga ukuba akabusi kwaye uyazi ukuba oku kuphosakele kakhulu kwaye ngekhe akwenze. Andisazi ukuba ndenzeni nokuba ndithathe njani imeko.
Unyana wam oneminyaka eyi-8 wenza into enye, ethatha imali kum okanye uyithatha kwiindawo ezahlukileyo zendlu apho ndishiye khona imali, kodwa ngoku ndikhathazekile kuba ndifumene imali eninzi kubhaka wakhe, kubandakanya amatyala, ngaphambi kokuba ndingakhathazeki kuba incinci kwaye bendithetha naye, kodwa ngoku ndiziva ndingenakuzinceda kuba inguye nam, kwaye andazi ukuba mandithini, ngethemba lokuba ungandinika ingcebiso
Ndinentombazana eneminyaka eli-10 ubudala ebile izinto ezincinci ukusukela wayeneminyaka esi-7 ubudala, uthathe izinto ezincinci ezifana nezinto zokudlala, kodwa mva nje uye weba i-piggy bank eyi- $ 10,00 kwaye kanye weba iselfowuni kwaye ndiyoyika kuba Ndiba izinto ezinkulu ngalo lonke ixesha. Namhlanje ndiye ndayiqonda lonto ndamkhalimela kabuhlungu kodwa khange ndimohlwaye, nangona ndizomluleka, ndincede ndenzeni ukuze angaphindi ayiphinde.
Xa ndandiyintombazana ndandikhe ndayiba kumama, ndicinga ukuba akukho mntwana ungayenziyo okanye ayizame, kodwa ndiyenze kwakanye kuba umama esongele ngokutshisa izandla zam kwikoma, ewe akenzanga njalo Ndiyoyika ukuba andizange ndiphinde ndiyenze, kwaye ndikholelwe ukuba andiphazamiseki. Ukuba ndize apha ibiyintombi yam yesibini kodwa nina ningabantwana bakhe nilungise njengoko kufanelekile !!!
Molo, ndicinga ukuba oomama abahamba kule nto baya kukunika iingcebiso: 1. Xa imali ithathwa engxoweni yabo okanye kwenye indawo, beka ikhamera efihliweyo okanye ujonge igumbi labantwana malunga namaxesha ama-2 ngeveki kwaye ukuba bafumana, bathi, $ 10, babenze bahlawule kwaye bohlwaye ngamanyathelo afanelekileyo kwaye bayibethe kuba kufanelekile
UThixo oyiNgcwele uqheleke ngaphezu koyedwa njengokuba utata enokukholelwa, siyintsika yosapho yabantu aba-4, utata, umama, umntakwabo oneminyaka engama-24 kunye nomncinci omncinci oneminyaka esi-7 ubudala oyena ubayo kuthi, thina Andiqondi ukuba kutheni esenza ukuba thina uTata siyayithanda le nto ayifunayo, asimthembi, ndibuhlungu kakhulu xa ndibona kulahleka imali endlwini kwaye batyhola umntwana ngoko nangoko. Eyona nto ikhohlakeleyo kukuba ndimxelele ngokuzimela kwaye ndimxelele utata ukuba wayithathephi loo mali, ayiyiyo eyakho sithandwa sam, undibuyisele imali athule, achukumise indlu afumane imali iphantsi komntwana bed, iyaphindaphindeka Sele siyifumene ibomvu-isandla njengoko besitsho, njengabazali sixhalabile kakhulu ngale ndlela yokuziphatha. Ukubona ingxelo ekweli phepha, andazi ukuba ndingamenza ayeke lo mkhwa mbi. enkosi ngengcebiso.
Kwikhaya lethu ikwayimeko yokuba abantwana bethu ababini abangamadoda, i-9 kunye ne-6 yeminyaka ubudala, bebe, kodwa into kukuba thina, abazali babo, sele sibile unaphakade, ngenxa yoko asinakungcikiva nantoni na. Ngokuchasene noko, kufuneka bavuyisane nanini na besenza kakuhle kwaye benenzuzo.
Molweni ndinomfana oneminyaka elithoba, umntwana ogqwesa nomfundi olungileyo, kodwa kulonyaka undibile izihlandlo ezi-9 kwaye xa ndijongana naye undixelela ubuxoki, andazi ukuba ndenzeni. Andifuni kumbetha okanye ukohlwaya ngokungafanelekanga, ndifuna uncedo.
Molweni, ndinomfana oneminyaka elithoba, umntwana ogqwesileyo nomfundi olungileyo, onothando nothandwayo ngumntu wonke, kodwa kulonyaka undibile izihlandlo ezi-9 kwaye xa ndijongana naye undixelela ubuxoki, andenzi njalo. yazi ukuba mandenzeni ndiyoyika ukohlwaya ngokungachanekanga, ndicela uncedo.
Molweni, ndihlupheke kwityala elifanayo nentombi yam ena6, ndaqonda xa ndiyomlanda ejimini, ndabona ukuba unelaphu elingelolakhe wandixokisa esithi ulithathile. usuka kwagogo, kodwa nodoli omncinci ofakwe izinto wandixelela ukuba uvela ebhegini yakhe, ndiye ndamxelela ukuba umntu unebhegi engeyiyo kuba ziyafana, ndamcela ukuba ayibuyisele kutitshala, emva koko ekhaya ndathetha naye; Kodwa emva kweentsuku sahamba sayotya endaweni saye sayokuma etafileni wabe yena sele e late ethathe imali esishiye uweta ngayo; Ukufika kwethu ekhaya ndamenza wavuma kuba ndiyayiqonda, kwaye wandixelela ukuba uyayithatha kuba efuna; Andiqondi ukuba unayo yonke into, kuyacaca ukuba samohlwaya, njl.