Abazali abaninzi bafumanisa kubantwana abancinci kakhulu ukungafani phakathi kwesini sabo kunye nesini. Ngenxa yoko, inkxalabo katata okanye umama ibonakala ichaza ukuba intombi yabo ineminyaka emibini okanye emithathu okanye nangaphezulu, ufuna ukuba yinkwenkwe.
Namhlanje siphila phantsi koluntu oluthe chu ukuhambela phambili indlela yokwenza ebusweni benkululekongaphandle kwesini, ekugwebeni isenzo sabo kuba Uziva ngathi ungowesini esahlukileyo. Kwenzeka ntoni xa intombi yakho ingaziboni isini ukuba inguye? Ungathini ukuba akazive eyintombazana kwaye alahla ilungu lakhe lokuzala?
Intombi yam ifuna ukuba yinkwenkwe, kuthetha ntoni?
Abanye oomama okanye ootata bangene kuthethwano oluchaphazelekayo kuba intombi yakho ithe phithi yile yokuba ifuna ukuba yinkwenkwe. Kwiimeko ezininzi, bayayala isondo sabo, bafuna ukuba nepenisi kwaye bakhokele isicelo sabo ngokufuna ukuchama bemi nkqo, banxibe njengamakhwenkwe okanye bazingqonge nabahlobo abazodlala nabo.
Le nyaniso yahlula ngokubanzi njenge Ixesha elidlulileyo le-transgender, kuba amanye amakhwenkwe okanye amantombazana angazibandakanyi nesini sebhayoloji esinikwe ngexesha lokuzalwa. Abantu abaninzi abalufumani uvelwano ngamalungu abo okuzala kwaye lubangela ukungonwabi okanye ukwaliwa okubizwa ngokuba yi-dysphoria yesini.
Uninzi lwezi mpendulo lunokubonakaliswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Intombazana leyo inokuba ihamba ngesazisi, apho indlela yayo ilawulwa yingqondo. Ngenxa yokuziphatha kwabo ngokwesondo, xa begqiba ekubeni bangabesini esahlukileyo, besini esinye okanye besini esinye. Okanye xa zikhona ukubonisa ngokwesondo ukuqhelaniswa, apho baya kuyenza ngokuziphatha.
Yintoni echaza intombi yakho ngokuba 'ngumfazi oguqukayo'?
Ichongwa ngothotho lweenkcukacha ezichanekileyo, kubandakanya yindlela yokwenza, yokuthetha okanye xa ungonelisekanga sisini sakho. Emva koko, sichaza ezinye izizathu zokuqukumbela le meko:
Akukho lucalucalulo ngeminyaka, Inokuba yintombazana okanye intombazana endala apho banokuthi baqale ukuveza umnqweno wabo wokunxiba nabantu besini esahlukileyo kwaye bayala eyabo yesini.
Bathanda ukungqongwa ngabahlobo besini esithile kunye nalapho benza isimilo okanye imidlalo yesini ngokulinganisa kunye nakwiphupha. Iithoyi zesini sabo bayaliwa kwaye bakhetha abo besini esahlukileyo. Kwenzeka into efanayo ngemisebenzi yokudlala okanye indlela amabaziphathe ngayo, bayayiphepha yonke into esemandleni abo.
Abayithandi isondo ababelwe sona, indlela esihlaziye ngayo, amantombazana akafuni ukuba nobufazi kwaye kwenzeka into efanayo nakwishumi elivisayo. Kukho ukwala okubanzi ekukhuleni kwamabele, ukutshintsha kwelizwi okanye kunye nomxholo weenwele zasesidlangalaleni.
Ngokumalunga nobomi bakho boluntu bakhetha ukuphathwa njengabantu besinye isini kwaye bahlala befumana uhlobo oluthile lokungqubeka okanye alugqibi kwitoni abayilindeleyo. Impendulo yakhe inokudala ukungonwabi okukhulu kwaye idale ukuwohloka kubomi bakhe ekuhlaleni ngakumbi esikolweni.
Ungayixhasa njani intombi yakho efuna ukuba yinkwenkwe
Ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo kufuneka kuhlonitshwe wentombi yakho ukuze ikwazi ukuveza indlela evakalelwa ngayo kwaye ikwazi ukuziqonda. Ngalo lonke ixesha akufuneki uyikhanyele indlela ofuna ukunxiba ngayo okanye into ofuna ukudlala ngayo.
Ukuba imeko kunzima ukuyilinganisa, kufuneka usoloko yiya kwinkxaso yengqondo kwinqanaba losapho. Kukho imibutho evumela olu hlobo loncedo zombini kubazali njengabantwana be-transgender. Intombazana inokufuna umntu wangaphandle ukuba abelane ngayo ngeemfuno zayo kunye nokulawula zonke izinto eziyikhathazayo.
Kubalulekile ukuba ekhaya unayo yonke inkxaso kunye nokuqiniswa okunokwenzeka, kuba yonke into eyenzeka ngaphandle inokuba yinto yocalucalulo kunye nokugculelwa. Unxibelelwano kwimeko yosapho kukuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo, kuya kufuneka uzame ukubuyisela imeko kwimeko yesiqhelo ukuze kungabikho ngxabano kwaye vumela intombi yakho ihlole isini sayo njengesiqhelo.