Omnye wemiceli mngeni emikhulu njengabazali kukuba ube njalo engenamkhethe kuqeqesho esilunika abantwana bethu. Ngokuqinisekileyo uvile nge uqeqesho olulungileyo, kukusetyenziswa kwezixhobo ezahlukeneyo kunye nokufundisa okunceda abantu abadala baqonde indlela yokuziphatha engalunganga ebantwaneni, kukhuthaza isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kubantwana kwaye babafundise ukuba baziphathe kakuhle. Kungoko ke kungokufunda njengabazali.
Kule nqaku sithetha ngemvelaphi yayo kwaye sikunika izitshixo ukuze wenze olu qeqesho luqinisekileyo.
Isiseko soqeqesho olululo
Uqeqesho olululo lusekwe kwiingcinga zika-Alfred Adler noRudolph Dreikurs, owaphuhlisa umbono wezengqondo ezinceda ukuphucula ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu, usapho kunye noluntu. URudolph Dreikurs, omnye wabalandeli bakhe, uya kubhala iincwadi ezahlukeneyo, zootitshala nabazali, apho izixhobo ezahlukeneyo zokucinga zazicacisiwe.
Isiseko kukuphuhlisa amakhwenkwe kunye namantombazana abaphumeleleyo, oko kukuthi, kunjalo oosomashishini kunye noxanduva. Fikelela ekusombululeni iingxaki kunye nokuziphatha kwimeko yentlonipho.
Uqeqesho oluqinisekileyo lubeka ugxininiso kwimiba yesidima nentlonipho phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Luqeqesho olusekwe kwintsebenziswano kunye nokwabelana ngoxanduva. Ngokubanzi, singatsho ukuba amaqhosha ezi zixhobo kuku:
- Gcina isidima nentlonipho kubo bobabini abazali nangomntwana. Kwinqanaba elifanayo.
- Zibekele iinjongo zexesha elide.
- Gxila kwizisombululo, hayi kwi ukohlwaya.
- Fumanisa ukuba umntwana ufuna ntoni okanye ugqibe entwenini. Impendulo isenokungabi yile nto uyifunayo njengomzali.
- Mfundise ukwenza izisombululo, umkhuthaze ukuba asebenzisane kwaye aphuhlise izakhono zobomi.
Kwaye ungalibali ukuba akukho bantwana babini bayafana, kuya kufuneka ubhetyebhetye.
Ukudibana kwakhona kosapho
Ukudibana kwakhona kosapho kuninzi izibonelelo kuwo onke amalungu. Kukho izakhono kunye nezixhobo, ezinje ngokulula kokubonisa iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo, intsebenziswano, uvelwano, ukuhloniphana, ukuyila, ukuthatha imisebenzi, uxanduva, ezifunyanwa ngendlela yendalo kwezi ntlanganiso. Sukubatsalela umnxeba kuphela kwiimeko zobunzima.
Ungayenza iintlanganiso rhoqo, kwishedyuli apho bonke abantu bosapho banokuba khona. Abazali nabo kufuneka baluthathe olu xanduva, beshiya ezinye izinto eziphambili ezinokuvela. Uqeqesho olululo luqeqesho kuye wonke umntu. Unako ukuseka i-ajenda okanye izihloko eziza kuxoxwa. Kubalulekile ukuqala ukuqonda oko elinye ilungu losapho lenze kakuhle, kwaye uyinike ixabiso layo.
Elinye iqhinga lokwenza ukuba intlanganiso ibe yimpumelelo kukuthetha ngemeko esele yenzekile phakathi kwabantakwabo. Ngaphandle kokwenza ukuba nabani na abe netyala lalo kwaye nelungu ngalinye lifake isandla ekudaleni, kunye nemibono elungileyo yezisombululo ezinokubakho.
Yiba nesisa okanye ube ngqongqo?
Ngokwenene aziphikisani. Unokuba nesisa, ube nesisa, ngelixa uqinile. Ifomula yoonyana neentombi zakho ukuba babe ngabantu abafanelekileyo kukumisela oko ukulingana phakathi kokuqina kunye nesisa.
Iyaqondwa ngu sebenzisa imigaqo-nkqubo ngokuthembekileyo ngokufanelekileyo, Ububele buya kuba kukugcina isidima nentlonipho phakathi kwabo bobabini. Ukugqithisa kwesisa kumema abantwana ukuba basebenzise kwaye baphephe uxanduva, ngelixa beqinile ngaphandle kokupha ubamema ukuba bavukele kwaye bacele umngeni kwigunya.
Buza abantwana bakho Intoni, ngoba, ngoba? Uza kwenza njani kwixesha elizayo?, endaweni yokukunika impendulo yokuba isenzo sithatha ntoni. Bancede bakhulise ubuchule babo bokucinga nokugweba. Endaweni yokubuza imibuzo ekhohlisayo, osele uyazi ukuba impendulo yayo iqala ngokuthi "Ndiqaphele ukuba" awuzange uwageze amazinyo akho, khange ufunde ngoku mva nje. Ukuba umntwana uyayikhanyela, sinokuthi besiphazama kwaye singathanda ukuba basibonise. Okanye ungasicacisela ukuba kutheni uthathe le ndlela yokuziphatha.