Ukuba awukayazi malunga yintoni ubundlobongela obutshiswa yigesi, kolu papasho uzifumanisa ukulo sicacisa ukuba luqulathe ntoni olu hlobo loxhatshazo. Sithetha ngoxhatshazo lwengqondo olufihlakeleyo oluthi kwiimeko ezininzi lusetyenziswe kwabasetyhini, ngamadoda kunye nabanye abafazi, bezama ukuguqula indlela abayibona ngayo inyaniso.
Yingxaki uluntu oluhlangabezana nayo ekunzima kakhulu ukuyibona, lixhoba kunye nabantu abakufutshane nalo. Olu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa kuqhutyelwa ngokuqhubekayo ixesha elide kwaye kunemiphumo emibi kakhulu kwabo babandezelekileyo yiyo.
Kule mpapasho, asiyi kuthetha kuphela malunga nolu hlobo lobundlobongela, kodwa kunye neempawu ezicacileyo zokuzichonga kunye nemiphumo ethe ngqo kumaxhoba.
Yintoni ugonyamelo lwegesi?
Olu hlobo loxhatshazo lukwabizwa ngokuba yi-gaslighting.. Eli gama liqala ukusetyenziswa ngenxa yefilimu ethi Gaslight nguGeorge Cukor. Kwisicwangciso sale filimu, kubaliswa indlela umyeni womlinganiswa aqala ngayo ukwenza ingxolo ethile, ukutshintsha izinto ukusuka kwiindawo kunye nolunye uthotho lwezenzo ezenza umfazi akholelwe ukuba uyaphambana, ade athandabuze impilo yakhe.
Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni akunyanzelekanga ukuba kunxulunyaniswe nokuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni, kodwa kumele kugxininiswe ukuba uninzi lwabantu abasebenzisa ugonyamelo benza oko ngokwasengqondweni. Ubundlobongela obukhanyayo bubuchwephesha obuzama ukuxhaphaza ngokwengqondo ixhoba, ukuguqula ubunyani babo.. Ifikelela kwinqanaba lokuba ukuzimela nokuzinza kweemvakalelo kulahlekile.
Uthe ixhoba liziva linoxanduva ngokupheleleyo kuzo zonke izigulo ezithe zachaphazeleka kubudlelwane obuchaphazelekayo.. Uphela ephuthile ngokupheleleyo kwaye ecinga ukuba akukho nto ayenzayo okanye izigqibo azenzayo ziyahambelana. Luxhatshazo olo, njengoko besibonisile ekuqaleni, luchule kakhulu kwaye luneziphumo ezibi kakhulu. Njengesibakala sokuba ixhoba lolu hlobo loxhatshazo lahlukanisiwe ngokupheleleyo kwindawo elihlala kuyo okanye ihlabathi elibangqongileyo.
Iimpawu kunye neziphumo zobundlobongela begesi
Njengoko sele sibonile, obu buxhakaxhaka bujolise ekubhangiseni ngokupheleleyo kwaye boyise ixhoba phambi komxhaphazi walo. Luhlobo logonyamelo Isekelwe ekuphindaphindweni kweziqinisekiso ezithile, ukukhanyela izibakala ezenzeke ngokwenene kunye nokusetyenziswa kokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo..
Ubundlobongela obukhanyayo buyingozi ngokwenene njengamaxhoba. Baye bakholelwe ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ukuzinza kwabo kwengqondo akulunganga kwaye baqala ukuzihlukanisa nehlabathi. Ngokungabi neempawu ezicacileyo njengakwezinye iintlobo zoxhatshazo, kunokuba nzima ukunika uphawu lwe-alam.
Kukho iimpawu ezithile ezinokubonisa ukuba umntu uphethwe ngolu hlobo lobundlobongela sithetha ngabo. Ingqalelo kufuneka ihlawulwe kule miqondiso, ukuphepha uthotho lweziphumo ezibi kwimpilo yengqondo yexhoba.
Eyokuqala kubo yileyo Umntu owenza ubundlobongela usoloko ephinda amabinzana angakhiyo like "Uphambene", "Ushiywa zingqondo". Usenokuphinda amanye amabinzana abhekiselele kwinto yokuba kufuneka uzivalele kwiziko labagula ngengqondo.
Nabani na osebenzisa gadalala uyingcaphephe yokuguqula iimeko kwaye azibeke kwindawo yexhoba. Oku kubangela ukuba umntu olixhoba ngokwenene azive enetyala kwaye athabathe uxanduva ngayo yonke into. Umntu othe waphathwa kakubi akasoze alunge kwaye uya kuzama ukufikelela kwinqanaba lokubeka ngaphezulu ukugweba kwakhe.
Abantu abajamelene nolu hlobo logonyamelo banenyaniso egqwethekileyo, bade bazive becinezelekile. Bade bathandabuze iimbono zabo, iindlela zokuziva okanye ukwenza. Abantu abasebenzisa olu gadalala ngokwasengqondweni, Usebenzisa ubuxoki ngokuqhubekayo, egxeka yonke into ethethwa lixhoba lakhe.
Kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo ukuba olu hlobo lobundlobongela, Ingenzeka kuzo zombini iisetingi zabucala nezikawonke-wonke. Ayidli ngokuzibonakalisa kwizigaba zokuqala zobudlelwane, kodwa kunokuba ibonakala kwaye iphuhlise ngokuqhubekayo.
Ukuba uqala ukukrokrela ukuba kukho umntu ojongene nobundlobongela begesi, ungalibazisi ukuthetha naloo mntu. Mnike uncedo lwezengqondo, umgcine ekufutshane nawe nakwizalamane zakhe kwaye, ngaphezu kwako konke, utsalele umnxeba ku-016. Le nombolo yomnxeba yeyokunceda amaxhoba oxhatshazo.