Kangangexesha elithile ngoku, kubonakala ngathi ukunamathela kuye kwayinto esefashonini. Kukho intetho eninzi malunga nokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha asazi ncam ukuba kuthetha ntoni.
Ngenxa yokuba ngokuba ngumzali, kuhlala kukho uncamathiselo. Ukuncamathisela sisidingo sebhayiloji sokuqala.
Njengabantu esidibana nabo ekuhlaleni, siza emhlabeni kunye Isidingo semvelo sokudibana ngokweemvakalelo nomntu osikhathaleleyo. I-bond echaphazelekayo iqinisekisa ukusinda komntu.
Ithiyori yokuncamathisela
Ithiyori yokuncamathisela ibalaselisa isidingo sabantu sokuseka iibhondi ezichaphazelekayo ngokuhamba kwexesha, ngokunxibelelana kwemihla ngemihla nabantu ababalulekileyo abangabo baba ngamanani okuncamathisela.
Yayilwa yi Bowlby. Ugqirha kunye nochwephesha ngengqondo ngoqeqesho kunye nomfundi kaFreud, wayenomdla kubudlelwane phakathi kokuncitshiswa okanye ukulahleka komama kubuntwana kunye neziphumo zokwakheka kobuntu. Wazinikela kuphando lobudlelwane bukamama nomntwana kuqala kwizilwanyana, kwaye kamva, koomama neentsana ezingabantu. Ngokuka-Bowlby, amava obudlelwane obufudumeleyo, obusondeleyo kunye nokuqhubeka komntwana kunye nomntwana omncinci kunina okanye umntu obambeleyo kubalulekile kwimpilo yengqondo..
Ukuncamathela kubalulekile kuba ukongeza ekuqinisekiseni ukusinda, inika ukhuseleko. Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo kwenza ukuba umntwana okanye umntwana ahlole umhlaba omngqongileyo.
Umgangatho wobudlelwane obusondeleyo phakathi kukamama nomntwana kunjalo ukumisela into ekubunjweni kweemodeli zokusebenza zangaphakathi. Oko kukuthi, ukumelwa kwengqondo yomntwana kwihlabathi kwaye kuye kuxhomekeke kwindlela akhathalelwe ngayo. Ukuba iimfuno zakho ziyamanyelwa kwaye zilungiselelwe ngokufanelekileyo, uyakuqonda ukuba uxabisekile kwaye umhlaba uyindawo emnandi. Ukuba, ngokuchaseneyo, iimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo azikhathalelwanga ngokufanelekileyo, uyakufaka ngaphakathi ukuba awufanelanga kuthathelwa ingqalelo kwaye umhlaba uya kuba yindawo eyoyikisayo neyingozi.
Ukumelwa kwehlabathi kunye neziqu zakho kuya kuhlala ubomi bakho bonke kwaye kuya kuchaphazela lonke ubudlelwane bomntu. Iibhondi eziphuhliswe ebuntwaneni ziya kuba yimodeli yeebhondi ezikhula kubomi babadala.
Ubophelelo oluchaphazelekayo lwakhiwa ngokuhamba kwexesha ngokunxibelelana phakathi kukanina okanye umntu ozalele umntwana kunye nosana okanye umntwana omncinci.
UMary Ainsworth, esinye isikhombisi kwithiyori yokuncamathisela, waqaqambisa ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo kunxibelelwano nosana yile impendulo ebuthathaka kamama. Le mpendulo ibuthathaka kukukwazi ukubona imiqondiso yosana kwaye ungayihoyi. Batolike ngokufanelekileyo ngokunxibelelana nabo, uvelane nosana. Kwaye okokugqibela, bonelisa ngokukhawuleza.
Impendulo ebuthathaka isisiseko sokwakhiwa kwe-bond ekhuselekileyo, leyo inomdla kuthi kuba siphilile.
Iindidi ezisisiseko zokuncamathisela
Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zonxibelelwano. M. Ainsworth wafunda isimilo sokuncamathisela phakathi komkhathaleli wokuqala kunye nosana. Wayiphuhlisa "imeko engaqhelekanga", ukuziqhelanisa nelabhoratri ukuvavanya indlela yokuziphatha komntwana omncinci ebusweni bokwahlukana nonina. Esi senzo senzeka kwigumbi elingaqhelekanga lomntwana kwaye sinokusetyenziswa ukusuka kwiinyanga ezili-12.
Kuxhomekeke ekuziphatheni kosana ngaphambi kokwahlukana kunye nokudibana kwakhona, sinokuthi kukho iibhondi ezikhuselekileyo kunye neebond ezingakhuselekanga.
Kukho unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo xa umntwana ebonisa ukungonwabi, uvalo, ukukhala kunye noxinzelelo ngokwahlukana nonina. Njengoko umama ehamba, uphazamisa ukuhlola kwaye adlale ukumkhangela. Xa umama ebuya, umntwana ufuna ukusondela kukanina kunye nentuthuzelo, aqhubeke nokuhlola kwaye adlale kungekudala emva koko.
Xa usana lusabela ngezinye iindlela, sizifumana sikulwalamano olungakhuselekanga. Kwelinye icala, ibhondi engakhuselekanga yahlulahlulwe yabanye abathathu: ukunqanda, ukungafani kunye nokungalungelelani.
Umntwana one ukunqanda ukudibana okungakhuselekanga akazukuveza nayiphi na imeko yangaphandle yeemvakalelo okanye alandele umama xa ephuma egumbini. Uya kuqhubeka nokudlala ngaphandle kokubonisa iimpawu zoxinzelelo. Ekudibaneni akunakubakho luvuyo kwaye umntwana akazukufuna ukusondela kukanina. Aba bantwana banokuthintela ukungaxhomekeki kokuncamathela ekuphuhliseni isimilo sokungakhathali ngokwahlukana kunye nokunxibelelana njengesixhobo sokuzikhusela. Bangabantwana abahlelwa "njengabazimeleyo" kwiminyaka engafanelekanga ukuba babe yiyo. Oomama baba bantwana bahlala bekugatya ukudibana nomzimba nabantwana babo. Aba bantwana banengxaki yokusilela ngokweemvakalelo nangona singenakubabona kuqala.
Iintsana ezine isibophelelo sokungaqiniseki Baza kuva uxinzelelo olukhulu kunye noxinzelelo xa umama eshiya igumbi. Baya kuthintelwa emva kokuba umama eshiye. Abayi kuphonononga okanye badlale. Xa umama engena kwakhona kwaye ukudibana kwenzeka, umntwana uya kuba nokuziphatha okukhohlakeleyo kwaye atshintshe isidingo kunye nokumelana nokunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Usana lusebenza ngolu hlobo kuba umama akahambelani neempendulo kwiimfuno zakhe, iimpendulo zakhe zisekwe kwiimvakalelo zakhe, ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo imeko yeemvakalelo zomntwana.
Okokugqibela, kukho uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga, esele iyimeko yezifo. Kwenzeka kwiintsana nakubantwana abaphantsi kokungakhathalelwa kosapho, ukuphathwa gadalala, ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwesondo ... Inani lokuncamathela ngaxeshanye lingumthombo woloyiko kunye nemfuno yokhuseleko nothando.
Ukuqukumbela, uncamathiselo sisiqinisekiso sokusinda. Sonke kufuneka sihlakulele ubudlelwane bemvakalelo kunye nabo basondeleyo kuthi ukuze siphile.
Njengomama akukho nto kwaye uncamathiselo esinalo alunakuthelekiswa nanto. Iposi entle, enkosi