Omnye wemisebenzi enzima kakhulu kubazali kukumisela abantwana babo imida. Bahlala besoyika ukuba ngumphathi okanye ukubanga ukonzakala kwengqondo kubantwana babo ngokuthi "hayi" kubo. Oku kuyabanyanzela ukuba bavumele ngokugqithiseleyo, banelise ii-whims kwaye bangasete naziphi na izithintelo ekuziphatheni kwabantwana babo. Ngokwenyani, imida yindawo ephakathi phakathi kwengcinezelo kunye "nokuyeka." Kwelinye icala bayayalela kodwa, kwelinye icala, basebenza njengommiselo, ugcino okanye isakhelo sokuthenjwa. Kungoko ukubaluleka kokufunda ukumisela.
Kutheni ziyimfuneko?
Abantwana kufuneka bakhokelwe ngabantu abadala ukuba bafunde ukwenza oko bakufunayo ngendlela efanelekileyo. Imida sisixhobo esifanelekileyo kule nkqubo.
Ziyimfuneko kuba zibonelela ngokhuseleko kunye nokhuseleko. Ukuba umntwana womelele kunabazali bakhe, akanakuziva ekhuselekile ngabo. Bayabavumela abantwana ukuba baxele kwangaphambili indlela abaza kuphendula ngayo abazali kwiimeko ezithile kunye nokuziphatha. Banceda abantwana ukuba babe neempawu ezithile ezicacileyo malunga nezinto. Zisisalathiso.
Bafundisa abantwana ukuba bazi indlela yokuyeka iminqweno yabo. Oku kubalungiselela iimeko ezifanayo eziza kubuziswa bubomi.
Uyibeka kanjani i "hayi" eqinileyo kwaye unamathele kuyo
Ukuseta imida ithi "hayi", kuba ayizukubakho yonke into enokwenzeka. U "hayi" kunye nokudakumba kuyenzeka kubuntu babantwana abancinci, bazisa ixesha lokulinda, apho ingeyiyo yonke into enokwaneliseka kwangoko.
Ukumisela kuyimfuneko ukuyenza ngegunya, ukhuseleko kunye nokuqina. Ezi zimo zengqondo akufuneki ziphazanyiswe nogonyamelo. Xa umda unyanzeliswa ngobukrakra obugqithisileyo, ngendlela engaguqukiyo, endaweni yokunceda umntwana, uyayithintela kumathuba ayo.
Kukwabalulekile ukuba ube nokuma okungaguqukiyo. Ukuba u "hayi" onikezwe ngomzuzu othile uguqulwa abe ngu "ewe" ebusweni bokunyanzelwa konyana wethu, umntwana uya kufumana umyalezo ophindwe kabini ozakumdida.
Kwelinye icala, ukumiselwa kwemida kufuneka kwabelwane ngako kwaye kuvunyelwene phakathi kwabantu abadala kunye nokuzinziswa ngokuhamba kwexesha. Omncinci ufuna amava wokubona oko kusandula ukuhanjiswa kuye kuqinisekiswa ngabantu abadala. Umzekelo, ukuba uzama ukuchukumisa udini lwemela, uyakuxwayiswa ngumama wakho ngo "hayi" ocacileyo, oqinileyo nozimeleyo. Emva koko uyakuphinda ukuzama kwakhe, ukuzama ukufumanisa ukuba utata naye uyambamba.
Amaxesha amaninzi abantwana abazamkeli iinkcazo, kodwa u "hayi" obeka isigqibo kunye nokuqina okuvela kubazali kuyamkelwa kwaye kuyomeleza kwaye kuyathomalalisa.
Iimpawu ngokobudala
Kubalulekile ukumisela umda ukusukela ngexesha lokuzalwa komntwana wethu. Kukulungele ukuseta amaxesha okutya kunye nokulala. Ngale ndlela, uthintela ukonyusa ixhala lakho, uqinisekisa ukuba iimfuno zakho ziya kwaneliswa ngexesha elifanelekileyo.
Xa umntwana ezihambela yedwa kwaye nemidlalo yabo iqala, kuyafuneka ukuba babe nesakhelo kwaye bangayiguquli indlu iphela kwindawo yabo yokudlala. Umzekelo, ngelixa kubalulekile ukumkhuthaza ukuba azobe kwaye apeyinte, kusengqiqweni kuye ukuba afunde ukuba iindonga asizondawo yokubonisa ubuchule bakhe. Kwelinye icala, kubalulekile ukuseka ngokucacileyo ukuba kukho izinto ezingafanelekanga ukuba zichukunyiswe okanye izinto ongafanele uzenze kuba zinokukwenzakalisa okanye zikubeke engozini.
Njengokuba ikhula, u "hayi" ukhatshwa yinkcazo eququzelela ukufakwa ngaphakathi komda kwaye ivumela umntu ukuba aqikelele imeko. Umzekelo, sinokumxelela ukuba, kuba sele kuhlwile, siya kumbalisela ibali lokugqibela emva koko alale.
Ukususela kwiminyaka emi-2 ubudala, uqala ukulinganisa imida yakhe kwilizwe langaphandle elijikeleze iimfuno zakhe. Ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye simva esithi "hayi" kuye xa ejongene nobundlongondlongo okanye ubuxoki obuvela kumhlobo omncinci.
Basebenza nini?
Ukuze umntwana akulungele ukwamkela imithetho okanye imida ebekwe ngabazali, kufuneka ukuba kubekho imeko-bume elungileyo yosapho, uthando kunye nothando.
Abazali kufuneka baqiniseke ngento abayifunayo kwaye, ke ngoko, kufuneka banyanzelise ukuba yenzeke.
Imigaqo kufuneka icace, ilungele ubudala bomntwana kwaye iyimfuneko ngokwenene. Akufanele bagqithise, kuba oku kubenza bangasebenzi.
Abazali kufuneka baziphathe ngokungaguquguqukiyo njengoko kufuneka. Khumbula ukuba nalo mzekelo uyafundiswa.
Kuqhelekile ukuba umntwana afune ukuvavanya, ngesimo sakhe kunye nokuziphatha, ukuba angaya kude kangakanani kwaye yintoni abasabela ngayo abazali ukuba umda ophawuliweyo ugqithile. Kungalo mzuzu, xa kufuneka uqine, kuba ukuba uyanikezela, kuyakubiza kakhulu ukufumana imbeko kuloo mithetho.
Konke oku akushiyi ngaphandle imfuneko yokuba abazali bamkele imeko-bume eguqukayo ebavumela ukuba balungelelanise le mithetho kwimeko, kumzuzu othile kunye nobudala bomntwana.
Hayi kwi "chirlo" okanye "ukubetha"
Ngokuqinisekileyo sakha saliva ibinzana elithi "i-chirlo ngexesha lixabisa amagama aliwaka". Kubalulekile ukuba singanikezeli kwisilingo sokwenza lula kokubonakala koku kulungiswa. Ukongeza ukohlwaywa ngumthetho kuba wophula isidima somntwana njengomntu, isiphumo saso sihlala ixesha elincinci. Yiyo loo nto kuya kufuneka iphindaphindwe rhoqo kwaye kube lula ukuba ibe ngumkhwa.
Kwelinye icala, abancinci baxelisa kakhulu kwaye bakope izimbo zethu kunye nezimo zengqondo. Umntwana obethwe ngabazali kunokwenzeka ukuba abethe izihlobo zakhe kunye noontanga.
Ukohlwaya ngokwasemzimbeni kuthoba ukuzithemba, kukhuthaza indlela yokuziphatha engathandekiyo, kwaye kuthintela amandla okufunda. Ekuphela kwento ukubetha, ukukhwaza kunye nokuncwina kukungabinamonde kunye nokusilela kwethu kwezinye izixhobo zemfundo ezikrelekrele.
Iindlela ezizezinye
Kubalulekile ukuchitha ixesha elaneleyo. Ukuba umntu umbi ukujongana nemini, ukuba akahambelani namanye amalungu, ukuba uziva enyanzelekile okanye ukuba uyoyika usuku oluzayo, abantwana baya kuluva olu xinzelelo.
Imithetho mayenziwe ngokuvumelana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana, kufuneka ibe yimveliso yengxoxo kunye nokuqondana.
Xa sichazela abantwana bethu intsingiselo okanye isizathu somda, siyabaxabisa njengabantu abanokuqonda. Ukusilela ukuhlonipha imida kufuneka kube neziphumo. Oku kufuneka kube ngokulinganayo, ngokuthe ngqo kwaye, kangangoko kunokwenzeka, ngokukhawuleza kwimeko ebangela oko. Kuya kufuneka babe nobudlelwane bendalo okanye obusengqiqweni nokuziphatha okuchaphazelekayo.
Uqeqesho lusebenza kakuhle xa abantu abadala beqinile, beqwalasele kwaye benothando, akunjalo ukuba kunjalo
zizinto ezingenamsebenzi. Kubalulekile ukuba sazi ukuba ukuseta imida yindlela yokubonisa umdla nothando kubantwana bethu.