Ukuzithemba, njengoko sibonile kwinqaku "Ungakukhuthaza njani ukuzithemba ebantwaneni"Yindlela esizijonga ngayo thina nendlela esicinga ukuba abanye basibona ngayo. Ingayi umahluko kwindlela esingathanda ukuba yiyo kunye nendlela esicinga ngayo. Ngumba obaluleke kakhulu kuba uya kuchaphazela zonke iinkalo zobomi bethu (ubomi boluntu, ubomi bosapho, ukubonwa komzimba, ukuzithemba kwehlabathi kunye nobomi bezemfundo). Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuyazi ukufumanisa njani iingxaki zokuzithemba ebantwaneni ukubazisombulula ngokukhawuleza okukhulu.
Ukubaluleka kokuzithemba ebantwaneni
Yiba nokuzithemba okuhle kubalulekile ukukhuseleka ngokweemvakalelo. Ziya kuba ziindonga kunye neziseko apho siya kuthi sakhe ubunyani bethu. Ukuba ezo ziseko azizinzanga, abantwana baba eyoyikisayo, edandathekileyo, notyekelo lokudakumba ngaphandle kokuqonda ukubaluleka kwabo. Iya kuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho kunye nekamva lakho njengabantu abadala. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kangaka ukuba ujonge ukuzithemba kwabantwana.
Iingxaki zokuzithemba zikhula njani ebantwaneni?
Nokuba sinokuzithemba kuya kuyichaphazela indlela esinxibelelana ngayo nesiqu sethu. Ukuzithemba kwethu iqala ukwakha ukusuka ebuntwaneni bethu ngokwamava onawo ngokusingqongileyo okufutshane. Kungenxa yoko le nto kufuneka siqwalasele imiqondiso abanokusinika ukuba ukuzithemba kwabo kuphantsi.
Abantwana kuphuhliso lwabo lonke utshintsho lwabo lokuzithemba kanjalo. Iyachaphazeleka ngakumbi xa inqanaba lokufikisa lifika kwaye uloyiko luye ngaphambili, isidingo sokwamkelwa kweqela sikhula kwaye ukungazithembi kuyanda. Amaxesha amaninzi banokuba linqanaba elilula, kodwa njengabazali kufuneka siqwalasele imiqondiso enokubonisa ukuba umntwana wethu akazithandi.
Ukufumanisa njani ukuzithemba okuphantsi ebantwaneni?
- Uyala ukwenza imisebenzi obukade uyithanda ngenxa uloyiko lokusilela okanye ukuzenza isidenge. Bangabantwana abangakhuselekanga kakhulu.
- Bayaziphepha iimeko zentlaloBaneentloni kwaye bayarhoxa.
- Utsho amabinzana anje "Akukho mntu uyandithanda", "Andikwazi" okanye "akukho nto indisebenzelayo" nangona kubonakala ngathi uyadlala Ukuba uphinda into eninzi, uphela ukholelwa ukuba iyinyani okanye hayi.
- Utyekelo lokukholelwa ukuba yonke into embi iyenzeka kubo, ngokungathi banomazibuthe wokutsala ithamsanqa. Nayiphi na enye inkcazo ayinakusebenza, nokuba loo nto yenzekile komnye umntu.
- Es ixhomekeke kakhulu kwabanye abantu, bobabini bazi izimvo zabo kunye nokwenza izinto.
- Dana kakhulu. Bayazinyanzela kwaye bafuna ukugqibelela, kwaye ukuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle bayazicaphukisa.
- Ukungazithembi. Bayayala imisebenzi okanye imiceli mngeni ngenxa yokoyika inkolelo yokuba abayi kukwazi ukuyenza. Abazithembi izakhono zabo.
- Ukungakwazi ukusebenzisa ithemba, abakwazi ukubona icala eliqaqambileyo lezinto.
Banokwenza ntoni abazali ukunceda umntwana wabo ngokuzithemba okuphantsi?
- Gxila kumzamo hayi kwisiphumo. Ngale ndlela siya kubenza baxabise umgudu nokuba awuphumeleli njengoko besilindele.
- Khuthaza ukuba nethemba. Mncede ukuba abone izinto ezintle, abone izinto ezintle kwaye angazibi.
- Sukusebenzisa amabinzana ngokugxeka emntwini kodwa kwindlela aziphethe ngayo. Ukuba wenze into engalunganga, sukuthi "umbi" okanye "usisidenge", kodwa "into oyenzileyo khange ibe intle". Ujoliso kwizenzo zakho, hayi isazisi sakho.
- Musa ukuyithelekisa nabanye abantwana. Kulapho baqala khona ukubona ukuba ukungafani kwabo kukhulu kwaye kubi kakhulu. Masingayiqinisi loo nkolelo.
- Andigxeki. Bagxeka omnye nomnye ngokwaneleyo. Into ekufuneka uyenzile kukuqaqambisa izakhono ezintle onazo. Menze azive exabisekile.
- Qinisa into olunge ngayo. Ayingabo bonke abantwana abalungileyo kwinto enye, ngamnye unamakhono athile. Kuya kufuneka sibakhuthaze abo bathandwa ngumntwana kwaye kufanelekile ukuba aphucule ukuzithemba kwakhe. Kungcono kunokuba uchaze yonke into angalunganga kuyo.
- Musa ukuzikhusela ngokugqithisileyo. Kwilinge lokunceda, sinokugqitha kwaye simkhusele kakhulu. Ayisebenzi kwaye inokwenza izinto zibe mandundu. Kufuneka simamele kwaye sibaqwalasele, ngelishwa asizukukwazi ukunqanda amaqhuqhuva obomi kodwa singabakubo sibakhuthaze ukuba bavuke.
Kuba khumbula ... kufuneka sinyamekele indlela esithetha ngayo, ezona zilonda zinzulu zenziwa ngamazwi abantu esibathandayo.