Akukho tata okanye mama uvuka kusasa ngenjongo yokukhwaza abantwana bakhe, kodwa ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo baninzi abawela yona, ngaphandle kobudala babantwana. Xa kukho imithambo-luvo okanye uxinzelelo, kuhlala kukhwaza emakhaya. Asinakuyikhanyela into yokuba ukuba ngumzali kunokuba noxinzelelo kwaye abantwana banokwenza izinto ezibenza babe nomsindo abazali, badane, okanye bakhathazeke.
Icebo kukuphendula ngokufanelekileyo. Ngale ndlela, xa abantwana befikelela kubudala bokufikisa, abazali baya kuba sele beziqeqeshile iimvakalelo zabo ukunqanda ukukhwaza, kuba babangela ukwenzakala kuphela kubantwana. Iingxaki ezinxulumene nokohlwaya ngokwasemzimbeni ziyaziwa kubo bonke kwaye uninzi lwabazali alunakuze lucinge ukubetha abantwana babo, kodwa ... kutheni ke babhenela ekubangxengeni kwaye batyhalelwe emphefumlweni?
Umonakalo obangelwa kukukhwaza ebantwaneni
Baziva kakubi ngesiqu sabo
Abazali bayangxolisa abantwana babo ukuba bazame ukuba bayeke ukwenza izinto esingazithandiyo kwaye ngale ndlela, ngokukhwaza, abantwana benziwa bazive kakubi ngabo ngento abayenzayo. Oku kuphathwa gadalala kuneziphumo ezibi, kubi kakhulu kunokuba abazali banokukrokrela. Abazali abahlala bengxola abantwana babo kufuneka basebenzise iindlela zokulwa. uqeqesho olulungileyo.
Isangqa esikhohlakeleyo esingafundisi
Ukungxola akufundisi, kwaye abazali baqala ukungxolisa abantwana babo bengazazi iziphumo. Ukukhwaza kuhlala kuqala xa abantwana 'beziphethe kakubi' okanye xa abazali bengaziqwalaseli iimvakalelo zabantwana babo. Kwezi meko abazali basabela ngoluhlobo lokuziphatha ngendlela engafanelekanga kwaye iziphumo kukuba indlela yokuziphatha kwabantwana iya isiba mandundu kwaye nabazali bandise ukungxola… Kukho isangqa esikhohlakeleyo esingalawulekiyo.
Iingxaki zokuziphatha kwabantwana zidala umnqweno wokungxolisa abantwana, kodwa oku kuyakwenza iingxaki zokuziphatha zibe mandundu. Ukumemeza kubonisa amandla engqondo abangela intlungu yengqondo kunye nomonakalo kubantwana, kunye nefuthe lokulungisa okanye ukulawula ukuziphatha kakubi. Oko kukuthi, abantwana bayangxoliswa ukuzama ukubenza bayeke ukwenza izinto abangazithandiyo, zibenza bazive bengalunganga ngezi zinto bazenzayo.
Isikhalo sabazali ebantwaneni
Isikhalazo sinokuthatha iindlela ezahlukeneyo:
- Abazali banokusebenzisa ukungcungcuthekisa ngomlomo ngendlela yokukhwaza
- Bazama ukuhoya abantwana ngokuthuka ngokukhala
- Banokusebenzisa ukuthotywa kunye nokuthukwa
Isifundo ibonise ukuba i-90% yabazali baseMelika baxele ukungxolisa abantwana babo. Abazali bahlala bedibanisa uqeqesho lomzimba, ukubetha okanye ukubetha ngokuhlukumeza xa abantwana bengena ebusheni… kwaye zombini ezi ndlela azichanekanga kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi inokuba lulwaphulo-mthetho.
Ukukhwaza abantwana kuya kubenza bazive ngathi abanalo uthando lwabazali babo kwaye okubi kakhulu, ukuba abona bantu babalulekileyo ebomini babo ababaxhasi njengoko kufanelekile. Ukuxhatshazwa ngamazwi kunye nokukhwaza kunxulunyaniswa nokwanda kokuziphatha kunye neengxaki zokuziphatha, ezonyusa amanqanaba obundlongondlongo kunye neengxaki zokunxibelelana ebantwaneni. Xa abazali bengxolisa abantwana babo ngomsindo, abantwana kunye nabakwishumi elivisayo baziva belahliwe kwaye beziva ngathi abazali babo abayiqondi okanye abafuni ukubaqonda.
Iziphumo ngokweemvakalelo
Kukho iziphumo ezibi ezingokweemvakalelo zokuba abantwana bahlupheke ngokungxoliswa ngabazali babo. Ukukhwaza kungoku ngendlela enobutshaba ebantwaneni. Abantwana bayo nayiphi na iminyaka baya kuziva benomsindo ngakumbi, becaphuka, kwaye bengazinzanga ngokweemvakalelo. Endaweni yokuziva ulungile baya kuqala ukuba neendlela zokuziphatha ezinobundlongondlongo kuba banesidingo sokuzikhusela: ukungaziphathi kakuhle kuyenziwa.
Kuyimfuneko ukuba uthathe ingqalelo kwisitayile esihle sokuba ngumzali kwiintsapho ukunqanda le miphumo. Esinye isiphumo seemvakalelo sokukhwaza luxinzelelo. Abafikisayo banokuba sesichengeni sokufumana uxinzelelo ngenxa yobundlongondlongo bomlomo obuvela kubazali babo. Kungenxa yokuba abantwana bakholelwa ukuba 'abanamsebenzi' njengoko kugxekwa kabukhali ngabazali babo. Oku kunokuqala iphethini yezigqibo ezimbi malunga nokuziphatha okanye ukukhetha abahlobo.
Ukuba ngumzali oqinisekileyo akunanto yakwenza nokuba ndlongondlongo ngomlomo nangaphantsi komzimba. Kubazali abangabazali abaqinisekileyo bavakalisa ubushushu, intuthuzelo, inkxalabo nothando kubantwana babo, kuthathelwa ingqalelo iimfuno zakho zomzimba neemvakalelo. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zikhuthaza abantwana ukuba banxibelelane ngakumbi nabazali nabantwana kunye nokwandisa iimvakalelo zabo zobushushu nothando lwabantwana babo. Ukuba ngumzali oqinisekileyo kunxulunyaniswa neengxaki zokuziphatha ezimbalwa, ke ukungaziphathi kakuhle kwabazali nako kunokuhla.
Isikhalazo ASIFUNDISI
Ukukhwaza akufundisi kwaye akusebenzi. Ngokwenyani, ukungxola kwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi kwaye kunokudala iingxaki zengqondo ebantwaneni, konakalise ubudlelwane phakathi komzali nomntwana obunokuhlala ixesha elide, okanye kubomi bonke. Xa ukhwaza, awukwazi kuwulungisa umonakalo, kodwa unoxanduva lwezenzo zakho kwaye ucele uxolelo nanini na xa kufuneka (kubantwana bakho). Ukusebenzisa amagama arhabaxa kunye nokukhwaza kuya kwenza kuphela ukuzithemba komntwana bajonge benenzondo kwaye ke, ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ayifanelekanga kuba xa umntwana eziva kakubi, uziphethe kakubi.
Unxibelelwano oluhle kunye noqeqesho olululo kubalulekile ekuphuculeni ubudlelwane nabantwana kunye nokuthintela ukungxola ekubeni yinto yesiqhelo ekhaya. Kuza kuba nguwe njengomzali ukukuqonda oku kwaye uphelise lo mjikelo ungazinzanga kwaye ukhohlakeleyo oya kunenzakalisa nonke njengentsapho. Esi simo sengqondo singekhoyo kufuneka siphele ngonaphakade.