Into yokuba abantwana abasandul’ ukuzalwa babe neemvakalelo kubonakala ngathi yinto efunyanwayo ngoku. Kuxhaphake kakhulu ukuba abantu abakungqongileyo khuthaza ukwahlukana. Nangona ukwahlukana kwangethuba kuyingozi kumntwana, kukho abo baqhubeka beyikhusela. Izizathu ziyafana namaxesha onke: ukuba uya kumosha kwaye uqhelane nezixhobo kwaye uya kuqhelana nawe. Ndenza inqaku lokuxelela bonke abo bantu ukuba akukho mntu ucela iingcebiso zabo ezineenjongo ezilungileyo. Ukukhala komntwana ongathuthuzelekiyo xa engekho kunye nomama wakhe kubangelwa yinkxalabo yokwahlukana. Iintsana zizalwa zineemvakalelo (ewe, zineemvakalelo njengabo bonke abantu), kwaye njengoko ubuchopho babo bukhula, nabo babona izinto ezibangqongileyo ngendlela entsha.
Ukususela malunga neenyanga ezisi-8 ukuya phambili, umntwana uyazi ukuba yena nomama wakhe bangabantu abohlukileyo.. Kwelo nqanaba kuqala enye yeengxaki ezinkulu zokwahlukana esiya kuba nazo kunye nabo. Kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuya phambili kangako ngexesha; Iimveku ezisandul’ ukuzalwa ezahlukaniswa nonina ziba noxinezeleko oluqatha ngokufanayo. Umama uyinto yonke kuthi xa sizalwa; sifuna ukhuseleko lobukho bakho. Ukuvinjwa komntwana ngale nto ukuze angaqhelani nonina kukhohlakele kakhulu; Uthatha yonke into emntwini osafunda into njengesiqhelo njengokuhlala emhlabeni.
Yintoni esinokuyenza malunga nexhala lokwahlukana?
Impendulo ilula. Kufuneka senze into efunwa ngumzimba kuthi. Kodwa ukuba sithatha isigqibo sokumqhelanisa nosana lwethu kwasebuncinaneni ukuba angabikho nathi, kufuneka siwazi umonakalo onokuziswa koku. Xa umntwana ekhala ngokungenasiphelo, iindawo zobuchopho bakhe zisebenza ezinokuthi zikhokelela kwiingxaki zokuziphatha ezizayo.. Ngaphezu koko, kuye kwaboniswa ukuba ezi ndawo zihambelana neendawo ezifanayo ezikhanyisa intlungu yomzimba.
Ulwimi olubi luyifake ezintlokweni zethu ukuba i-attachment imbi emntwaneni. Nangona kunjalo, ndiyabona ukuba izizukulwana zokugqibela zabantwana ziye zafika ziphethe umbayimbayi wohlaselo phantsi kwamakhwapha. Ndihlala ndizibuza ukuba yonke into ihambelana nefashoni yokuzimela; ukuba umama ongekhoyo (kunye nobutata). Andiqondi ukuba umama oyeka umntwana wakhe alile ungcono okanye umbi; Ukhetho lwakho mhlawumbi sisiphumo sokungazi.
Ngoko, ngaba sifanele senze okuthile ngale ntlungu iviwa lusana lwethu? Ewe. Kufuneka uphendule umnxeba wakhe. Isikhalo sakhe sifuna ukusixelela into, nokuba nje "Ndidinga usondele, ndifuna ukukubona." Xa kufika ixesha lokuya emsebenzini, abantwana abaninzi kufuneka badlule kweli nqanaba ngokukhawuleza kunabanye abanonina ekhaya imini yonke. Kwezi meko, luluvo oluhle ukuqhelisela ikhefu likamama kancinci kancinci phambi kokuba kuqale usuku lomsebenzi.
Ukwahlula ukuxhalaba ukusuka kwi-1 unyaka
Xa umntwana wethu ekhulile kwaye edlulile isigaba sakhe "somntwana", singena ebuntwaneni obucocekileyo nobulula. Kukho ukusabela okuphindaphindiweyo ebantwaneni xa bohlukene nonina (okanye uyise). Ngaphandle kokukhala okungathuthuzelekiyo, okubonakala ngathi akupheli, kukho okungakumbi ukusabela kunye neemvakalelo abazifumanayo:
- Umntwana Usenokuzama ukuzenzakalisa ukuze ungohlukani naye.. Hayi, akenzeli ukutsala ingqalelo. Akakuqhathi. Ukwenza oko ngenxa yokuba engayazi indlela yokuchaza oko avakalelwa ngako ngamazwi okanye kuba engayiqondi nje into eyenzekayo kuye.
- Umsindo. Baya kwenza konke okusemandleni ukuba bahlale nawe. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, hlala nomntwana wakho. Ukuba ukwahlukana kubangelwa ukunyanzeliswa kwe-majeure, kuyacetyiswa ukuba uqale iiyure zokuhlukana phakathi kwezi zibini ezincinci.
Yintoni esinokuyenza thina bazali ukuze bazive bebhetele?
- Ukuba indlela ophila ngayo iyakuvumela, thatha umntwana wakho yonke indawo. Kuya kufika imini apho aya kufuna ukuzimela yedwa. Ukuba siyilungiselele loo nto kuba sisazi ukuba iza kufika, siya kusinandipha esi sihlandlo sinomntwana wethu ngakumbi.
- Mshiye nabantu obathembileyo kwaye kancinci kancinci. Ngamana utshintsho olukhulu alunakuvela ngokukhawuleza.
- Xa ndingakuboni (esitratweni ungaze ulahlekelwe ngabantwana bakho), ungayeki ukuthetha naye. Ilizwi abalaziyo nabo liyabazolisa kakhulu. Ukuba, ngokomzekelo, wenza ukutya yaye umntwana ehleli kwisitulo esiphakamileyo, thetha naye ngokuvakalayo ukuze akuve aze azole.
- Hlala uthi goodbye kuye. Kufuneka aqonde ukuba uyahamba kwaye uya kubuya. Ungamngcatshi kuba xa ethe wafumanisa, i reaction yakhe izakuba worse kakhulu.
Kwaye njengesiqhelo ndiyathanda ukuphelisa ezi zihloko ngokuthi Ungaze umamele nabani na ocebisa ukuba ukwahlukanise nosana lwakho ukusukela luncinci.. Ngomso uza kubona iziqhamo zokhetho olwenzayo namhlanje.