Ubudlelwane phakathi komama nomntwana buyingqayizivele, iqhina elisondeleyo kakhulu apho umntwana engakwazi ukwahlula, ubuncinane kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala, umahluko phakathi koko akuko kunye noko unina. I-Attachment liqhina elichaphazelekayo elikhethekileyo eliphawula ubomi bomntu ngamnye. Kukho izinamathiselo ezikhuselekileyo kunye neziqhotyoshelwano ezingakhuselekanga. Kwaye kukho kwakhona uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga enoluhlu lweempawu kunye nemiphumo ebomini bomntwana oya kuba ngumntu omdala kamva.
Nangona uSigmund Freud wayengowokuqala ukubhekisela ekusondeleni kumaqhina okuqala, akuzange kube yingcamango yokuncamathela ecetywayo yi-British psychoanalyst uJohn Bowlby -phakathi kweminyaka ye-1969 kunye ne-1980-ukuba eli gama lafumana ubukhulu bokwenyani. UBowly wafunda iindlela ezininzi zokuziphatha zobuntwana ezinxulumene nazo ubukho okanye ukungabikho komntu ongumama. Ngokwezigqibo zabo, ukudibanisa okuhle ebuntwaneni kubalulekile ekuphuhliseni iimvakalelo zomntu ukususela ebuntwaneni. Unxibelelwano olunempilo, olukhoyo kodwa olungaphazamisiyo phakathi komntu omdala nomntwana lungundoqo kolu phuhliso lwengqondo.
Izinamathiselo ezisempilweni nezingakhuselekanga
La ithiyori yokuncamathisela icebisa ukuba le qhina likamama/lomntwana yihambo yethuku eyenzeka kusana olusandul’ ukuzalwa ngokunxulumene nonina okanye umkhathaleli walo, indlela yokuphila ngokuzenzekelayo. Usana olungenakuzinceda lufuna ukukhuselwa kulo mfanekiso. Ukuba kukho uncamathiselo olulungileyo, kancinci kancinci, uya kukwazi ukuzikhwebula kolu nxibelelwano luphambili ukuze ukhuthazwe ukuba uphonononge umhlaba ngendlela ezimeleyo. Kuxhomekeke kwi uhlobo loncamathiselo olusekwe nomama okanye umnakekeli oyintloko, uhlobo lobudlelwane boluntu ukuba umntu uya kuseka kwixesha elizayo kunye nobomi bonke.
Ukuncamathela okunempilo ku khusela okuqhotyoshelweyo, apho ukwahlukana kwemvelo okwenzeka ngaxa lithile phakathi komama nomntwana kukhula kwaye kuguquke. Usana lufunda ukuba unina uyaziqhelanisa kodwa emva koko abuye aze azive ezolile, ukuxhalaba akubonakali njengophawu oluphambili. Uqhagamshelo olukhuselekileyo lolo luqinisekisa impilo yomzimba, yengqondo nengokweemvakalelo yomntwana. Ngokwahlukileyo, kwi-anxious-attachment attachment, ukuziphatha kakubi: umntwana ubonisa ukuxhalaba okuncinci kokuhlukana kunye nomdla omncinci ekubuyiseleni umzobo wokunamathisela.
Okanye okuchaseneyo kunokwenzeka, i-ambivalent-resistant anxious attachment, apho umntwana eziva exhalabile kakhulu ngokuhlukana kodwa xa unina ephinda evela kwindawo umntwana unomsindo nangona esithi ubukho bakhe. Ekugqibeleni, kukho uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga-i-disoriented, mhlawumbi eyona nto inzima ukuyichaza kuba luhlobo oluthile lokunamathisela apho umntwana edidekile kukwahlukana. Oko kukuthi, ibhalisa ukuxhalaba kodwa kwangaxeshanye ayisondeli kwi-attachment figure ngokukhawuleza xa ibuya.
Uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga
Iveliswa njani ukuncamathela okungalungelelanisiweyo? Kungumphumo wohlobo lokunamathisela apho umntwana uziva edidekile ngokumalunga nokuziphatha komzobo wokunamathisela. Olu hlobo lokuncamathela lubangela ubuntwana obugwenxa obusiphumo sokubonakala kokuziphatha kakubi. Umntwana uyasilela ukumisela umzekelo wokuziphatha kubazali bakhe, ukuziphatha kwabo akunakwenzeka. Isiphumo kukuba umntwana ufumana ukwahlukana ngomqondo wokungaqiniseki, ukwesaba, kunye nokungabikho kokubambisana kunye nocwangco.
Luhlobo oluqhelekileyo lokuncamathela kumakhaya apho kukho uzinzo olukhulu, abantwana abahlala kwindawo enobundlobongela phakathi kosapho. Abazali abanokuba nothando kakhulu okanye babonise ukuziphatha kobundlobongela ngesiquphe. abantwana kunye uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga babonisa iindlela ezithile zokuziphatha: kwelinye icala baya kubakhathaleli babo kodwa kwelinye bayabaphepha ngenxa yoloyiko. Basenokubonakalisa umdla omncinane kwihlabathi elibangqongileyo ekubeni beyibona njengendalo esongelayo. Yintoni eba bubunzima obunokwenzeka ekuphuhliseni kwengqondo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuhlukana okuthile kunye nenyani.