Okokuqala ndingathanda ukuyikhumbula loo nto Ukulunyulwa komntwana akufuneki kubekwe ngeminyaka yakhe. Rhoqo kuthi kule mihla yethu yemihla ngemihla sive zonke iintlobo zezimvo xa sincancisa abantwana ngaphezu konyaka omnye. Kwaye xa umntwana engaphezulu kweminyaka emibini ubudala, abantu bade bakhuphe neenwele. Abayiqondi indlela yokuba nobisi olungumgubo, okanye nokuba yinkomo leyo, ilandela njani “ububi” bencanca. Nasesidlangalaleni!
Into yokuqala yokwenza kukuqonda umntwana. Oko ibele lazalwa, lamnika yonke into ayifunayo: ukufudumala, intuthuzelo, ukutya ... Njengokuba umntwana wethu sele ekhulile, ibele liye laqhubeka ukuba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ngemihla yakhe: liyamnceda alale, limthomalalise kwaye kunjalo , iyaqhubeka ukumtyisa. Nangona ukusukela kulo nyaka kungasenguye ukutya kwakhe okuphambili, kuye kusabalulekile. Kodwa kuyeza ixesha apho kuya kufuneka siyeke ukuncancisa msinyane kunokuba besingathanda; Isenokuba ngenxa yokufika kosana olutsha, ukuzibona singakwazi ukuziqhelanisa tandem ukuncancisa. Okanye ngenxa yeemeko zomama ngamnye.
Iindidi zokulunyulwa kwabantwana abaneminyaka emi-2 ubudala
Ukulumula ukutshintsha okungantsonkothanga kunokuba kubonakala ngathi. Inokubekwa kwimeko ezininzi kwaye kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngubani oyiqalileyo, iyakuba yeyiphi imeko uhlobo lokulunyulwa esikuqhelayo. Olunye ulusu esinokulufumana emva kweminyaka emibini:
Ukulunyulwa kwilinge likanina
Ukuba umntwana wethu ongaphezulu kweminyaka emibini ubudala akazimiselanga ukuncancisa kodwa sifuna njalo, siza kube sithetha ngolu hlobo lokulunyulwa. Asithethi ngokulumla ebeleni ngamaxesha apho uninzi lwethu lucinga ukuba "andisayi kuphinda ndikunike ibele kuba ndidiniwe", kuba unyana wethu ebetsala ihempe yakhe amaxesha ama-5 ngomzuzu kwisidlo sosapho. Izinto ezibangela ukuba umama afune ukulumla umntwana wakhe zininzi kwaye akukho mntu ufanele ukugwetywa.
Xa inyathelo lokulumla lithathwa ngunina, kuqhelekile ukuba umntwana abe nexesha elibi ngakumbi kunokuba ibiyinto elungiselelwe kwangaphambili phakathi kwaba babini. Ubusuku lelona xesha linzima xa kufikwa ekususeni ibele emntwaneni. Ngokwesiqhelo kwaye ukuba bayavuka, bayathanda ukuziva ukuba i-tit yabo iyalandela. Iiveki zokuqala ubusuku buya kuba nzima kwaye njengengcebiso, Ndiza kuziqhelisa ukuncancisa ebusuku ukwenzela ukuba umntwana angabinalo olo tshintsho ngequbuliso.
Kuya kufuneka silumke kakhulu ngesifo sokukrala kwebele kunye nokufakwa kwengqele ebeleni okunokuvela ukusukela oko umntwana eyeka ukuncancisa. Ubisi luya kunciphisa imveliso yalo, kodwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwiintsuku zokuqala ukuqokelelana emabeleni kwaye kubangele iintlungu. Eyona nto ingayo kukuya kubelekisi xa efuna ingcebiso. Ukuba ufuna ukuncancisa ukusuka kolunye usuku ukuya kolandelayo kwaye ukhetha ukulibala malunga nokuncancisa usana lwakho ngonaphakade, kukho iipilisi ezisika imveliso yobisi. Ngokufanelekileyo, kufuneka ihambe ngokwemvelo, njengazo zonke izilwanyana.
Ukulunyulwa kwisigqibo somntwana
Olu hlobo lokulunyulwa lolona luqhelekileyo kwaye lolona luya kuhlonipha ngokufanelekileyo iimfuno zomntwana wakho. Ukusukela kwiminyaka emibini kwaye xa abantwana benolwazi ngakumbi, banokuqala ukuba nomdla malunga nezinye izinto, beshiya ama-boobs abo ecaleni. Olu hlobo lokulunyulwa luqala xa umntwana engafane athabathe ukutya okunesondlo ngosuku, ekugqibeleni abancancisi iintsuku ezimbalwa.
Ukongeza, njengoko bekhula, ubuthongo buqala ukuba nzulu kuba beziphuhlisile zonke izigaba zokulala bade balale phantse njengabantu abadala. Ukuba ebusuku uqala ukukhetha ukulala kunokuncancisa, awuyi kufuna ukuqhubeka nokuncancisa ebusuku nokuba. Ukuba ukhulelwe, umntwana wakho unokufuna ukuncancisa. Inokuba kungenxa yokuba bafuna ukwamkela indima yomntakwabo omdala, kwaye "abantwana abadala" abancancisi. Kodwa kunokwenzeka utshintsho olunamava obisi kwincasa kunye nobungakanani ngexesha lokukhulelwa, khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba ayeke.
Xa abantwana bethu beshiya amabele ethu, kuyinto eqhelekileyo kuthi ukuba lusizi. Utshintsho lukwanzima kuthi xa umntwana inguye ogqiba ekubeni angancancisi kwakhona. Ukuba into yokuba umntwana wakho eyekile ukuncancisa ikuchaphazela ngokweemvakalelo, musa ukuthandabuza ukuveza izimvo zakho. Kodwa kufuneka simhloniphe unyana wethu, kwaye ukuba kuye isifuba siphelile, kuthi ngako konke ukuzisola kwethu, nathi.
Ukulumla ukulunyanwa ngesivumelwano
Ngamanye amaxesha oomama bafuna ukugqiba ixesha lokuncancisa kodwa asifuni ukuba oku kuchaphazele umntwana wethu. Ubukho be thetha nonyana wethu ngaphezulu kweminyaka emibini kwaye uchaze ukuba kutheni ufuna ukuyeka ukuncancisa. Okanye ubuncinci ucacisa ukuba kutheni uza kuncancisa amaxesha amancinci.
Bandakanya abantwana bethu kwizigqibo esizenzayo, iya kubenza bazive ngathi banexabiso kunye nokusilela kwizigqibo zosapho. Nangona sibadala, sinokwenza iimpazamo kwaye sicinge ukuba eyona nto ilungileyo emntwaneni wethu kukuqalisa ukulumla xa ezama ukusitshela ngenye indlela.
Ukukunceda ukulumla ukulunyulwa ungathatha uthotho lweengcebiso kunye namacebo ukuba bobabini abacebisi bokuncancisa kunye nabazalisikazi bakuthatha njengokufanelekileyo. Kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, banceda ukulunyulwa kokulunyulwa. 
Amaqhinga okunceda ukulunyulwa
Phazamisa umntwana wakho
Unyana wethu uhlala efumana ukudlala esifubeni. Bangaphi kuni abarhintyela ititi yakho kwaye baqale ukudlala ngengono kwelinye icala? Ukuthintela ukondliwa "ngokudinwa", kubalulekile ukuba sigcine umntwana wethu ephazamiseka. Siza kuziphepha ii-smartphones, iitafile, oomabonakude kunye neekhompyuter kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Imisebenzi efana nokuzoba, ukukhangela iziqwenga zepuzzle, okanye ukwenza izindlu ngeebhloko zinokunceda.
Buyisela ibele
Xa ukulumla sele kuqalile kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abantwana baqale ukuncanca ubhontsi wabo okanye bamkele i-pacifier. Ukuze oku kungenzeki, musa ukubonelela nge-pacifiers okanye ubenako ukufikelela kuyo. Ukuncancisa ubhontsi yinto esingenakukuthintela imini yonke. Olu hlobo lokuziphatha lubonwa rhoqo kulusu olukhokelwa ngumama okanye "ngokunyanzelwa".
Ukuba umntwana wakho ucela ibele lakho endlaleni, ungamnika into yokutya, ukunqanda iilekese kangangoko kunokwenzeka kunye nokutya okungenampilo. Kwaye ukuba, ngokuchaseneyo, ucela isifuba sakho kunxano, usebenzisa ithuba lonyaka lasehlotyeni esinakho banike amanzi amatsha, iijusi zendalo okanye ivatala, eya kuthi incede ukugcina isisu sigcwele.
Umthetho wegolide: musa ukunikela, musa ukwala
Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo lelona qhinga lokuqalisa ukulunyulwa okuhlonelwayo. Njengomama, abaninzi bethu banikela isifuba emntwaneni wethu ukuba sihleli ngokuzolileyo ukuze sonwabe ixesha elincinci kunye. Lo mthetho Yeyona ilula ukuze ukukhaba kuncitshisweUkuba umntwana wakho akaceli ibele, musa ukulinika. Kodwa ukuba uyayibanga, nokuba kukutsala ihempe okanye kukungxolisa, sukuphika kuba oko kungamenzakalisa ngokweemvakalelo.
Okukuphela "kwecala" kukuba nokanye uqinisekisa ukulunyulwa ngokupheleleyo ngexesha elifutshane. Ukuba sifuna ukulunyulwa ukuze kwenzeke kumhla obekiweyo nangasiphi na isizathu, sinokuqala ngalo mgaqo kodwa sisebenzise ngobuchule ukuphazamiseka kunye nokufaka endaweni. 
Yintoni esinokuyenza xa umntwana wethu engafuni ukushiya ibele?
Kungenzeka ukuba emva kokuzama ukuqhubela phambili ukulumla, oku bekungaphumeleli. Ukulunyulwa kwendalo komntwana, okwenzeka ngesigqibo sakhe, kuphakathi kweminyaka emi-2 nesiqingatha kunye neminyaka esi-7 yobomi bomntwana. Ewe iminyaka esi-7. Kubonakala kunzima, kodwa ukumangaliswa kokuthetha ukuba umntwana oneminyaka emi-6 ubudala angaqhubeka nokuncanca yimpazamo kuluntu.
Ukuncancisa kutyhalelwe ecaleni, siphulukene nobuntu bethu bokuqala. Siyalibala ukuba sizizilwanyana ezanyisayo, ukuba amabele ethu enzelwe ukondla. Kwaye ngaphezu kwayo yonke loo nto, siye sawela kuluntu oluthatha "njengesiqhelo." Ngaphambi koko, kwakuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuncancisa inyanga enye, ubuninzi beenyanga ezi-1 ukuba ifikile, emva koko utshintshele kubisi olungumgubo. Bonke abafazi bathi baphelelwe lubisi; abanye ukuba unyana wakhe oneenyanga ezintathu ubudala akasafuni kuphinda afune isifuba.
Ingxaki kukuba "ixesha elide" ukuncancisa, ngaphandle kokuba Ingcebiso ka-WHO, ayisagqalwa njengeqhelekileyo; Kude kucingwe ukuba umama uyagula, ukuba kuyamonwabisa ukuncancisa umntwana wakhe, okanye ukuba unaye "ngothando."
Akukho mntu ufanele ukungena phakathi kosana okanye umntwana osancanciswa. Ngoku ukuba intombi yam isendleleni eya kwiinyanga ezili-16, ndiyaqaphela ukuba sijonge kuthi xa ndimncancisayo. Abanye bathambile, abanye boyika. Kukho nezothe. Khumbula into, elula kwaye ethe ngqo ngolu hlobo: ngamabele ethu kwaye siya kuncancisa de siwashiye! Kwaye nabani na ongayithandiyo, isibhakabhaka sikhulu ukubala iinkwenkwezi zayo.
Ndilifumana liluncedo eli nqaku, ndikwinkqubo yokumlumula umntwana wam osandula kugqiba iminyaka emi-2 ubudala kwaye ndiziva ngathi sobabini sibandezeleka kakhulu kuba andikafuni ukuyikhupha kuye inyaniso okwangoku kuba kufuneka ndiqale ukusebenza kwaye ndixhomekeke kakhulu kum kwaye ndiyenza ngokuthe ngcembe kodwa ngalo lonke ixesha ndibanika xa izihlobo zam zikhona, bayandigxeka ngokuqhubeka nokubanika kwaye inyani ndiziva ndiziva ndiziva Andifuni ukuhamba ekugqibeleni, sisigqibo sam sokuhlala ndiqhagamshelene nam nosana ngokuncancisa kwaye ukuba ndilunyulwe kungenxa yokunyanzelwa ekubeni ngokwezoqoqosho asiphilanga kunye nomyeni wam kwaye kufuneka ndiphume ndiye sebenza, nasengqondweni kuyandikhathaza kunye nomntwana wam kuba andinakumncancisa kwaye asinakulumla ngokuzolileyo. Ndiyakholelwa ekubeni uluntu kufuneka lufundiswe ukuhlonipha oomama abathatha isigqibo sokuncancisa abantwana bethu bade bafune kwaye masibalumle ngeyona ndlela yoxolo kumama nakumntwana. Ngamanye amaxesha andizihoyi izimvo zabanye kodwa kukho amaxesha apho bayandothusa kwaye bandenzakalise kwaye ndide ndizame kakhulu.
Isithuba esigqwesileyo, inyani andifuni ukulumla usana lwam oluneminyaka emibini kuphela ekupheleni kwale nyanga, kodwa ugqirha wam uyandicela ukuba ndilikhulule, sele ndisebenza oko eneenyanga ezili-10 ubudala kwaye ihlala okoko bendisebenza ndizolile ndingakhange ndicele ukutya amabele ezinye izinto, kodwa ukufika kwakhe ekhaya ndiyahlamba kwaye kwangoko uyancamathela yonke imva kwemini nasebusuku ngalo lonke ixesha.
Andinangxaki kule nto, kwaye ndingathanda ukuba ibe yiyo ethatha isigqibo sokuba ulishiya nini ibele, ndiyazi ukuba liyayichaphazela kuba indenza ndingacingi ukuba xa oko kusenzeka asisayi kuphinda sibe nazo amaxesha omama nomntwana angenakubakho kunye nomnye umntu.
Sele ndizifundile izihloko zokulunyulwa kunye nezihloko zokuncancisa, ngokungathandabuzekiyo ebeyimpumelelo epheleleyo kuthi kwaye ndifuna ukuba ukulunyulwa kwakho kuhlonitshwe kwaye kungakuchaphazeli. Ndicinga ngokwaneleyo ukuba sobabini kufuneka sibengumama nonyana kuphela notata ongekhoyo. Phantse zonke iitekisi endizifundileyo ukusuka ekulunyulweni zilungiselela notata, kodwa ayinguye wonke utata wethu osincedayo.
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Ndinosana olune-2 neenyanga ezisixhenxe ubudala nosana oluneenyanga ezimbini ubudala. Akufuneki ukuba, umntwana wam akatshintshanga imikhwa yakhe. Ukuba siqhagamshelana nemizuzwana emi-7, undicela itit ngokukhawuleza, uthatha nasebusuku. Ndicinga ukuba kuya kufuneka ndilinde ithutyana kude kuphele ukothuka komninawa wakhe.
Ndinabantwana abay2, owokuqala ona 12 years kodwa yena usela ibele qha de kube ngunyaka, ngenxa yokungakhuseleki kwam endixelela ukuba andinalo ubisi lwamabele am ukuba mancinci ndithe xa ndifumana intombi yesibini ndathatha isigqibo sokuba andinalo. ukumamela izimvo ezingezizo nentombi yam Sele ina 3years and believe me ukuba kudala ndafuna ukulikhupha ibele since ina 2years kodwa andiyazi uba ugqiba kuthini xa endikholisa ukuba ndigqibele ndimnika and. Ndiye ndamnika kwade kwangoku ngoba ebendiluma ibele belibuhlungu kodwa wenza engazimiselanga kuba ebelele, ndiye ndakhetha ukumlumla kodwa wakhala wangxola ngoku ndafaka ibala ndamxelela ukuba kubuhlungu. , ngoko qho ebusuku ndibeka isiziba sam kwaye akasakwazi. Sisekumhla we-5 okanye kunjalo kwaye masibone.