Uziva ntoni xa uncancisa? Waziva njani xa uncancisa? Ungaphendula uthi awonwabanga, akukho mntu ukukhokele kakuhle, ukuba ufuna ukondla umntwana ngomzimba wakho kodwa bekunzima kakhulu ... Ukuncancisa kwakho kunokuba mnandi, hayi kuphela ngenxa yokungabikho kwentlungu okanye ukurhawuzelela (kufuneka ihlale injalo loo nyaniso?) kodwa ngenxa yokuba ukuncancisa kukwabelana ngesondo, kutheni enye inokuba yinxalenye yomjikelo wokuzala womntu? Ukuqaphela eli linyathelo lokuphelisa izinto ezininzi ezisingqongileyo kule nkalo yobomi bethu, kwaye ngakumbi kuthi kuthi siyiqonde, sinyanzelise ngakumbi iimbono eziphosakeleyo ezenza uloyiko kunye nethabo liphulukane.
Uyabona, kwangoko ngo-1805, umatron ogama linguMary Watkins wathi ukuncancisa "kokona konwaba kukwaziyo ukuba imeko yomfazi ikwazi". Kucacile ukuba ukuba zizilwanyana ezanyisayo, sinako ukuncancisa abancinci bethu ukuba sibondle, kodwa hayi kuphela: kuyinjongo yendalo ukuba sifumane ukonwaba, ngale ndlela sidibana ngcono nosana kunye nokuncancisa, kwaye ngale ndlela kunokwenzeka ukuba le yokugqibela izakwandiswa.
Ndikhumbula ukuncancisa kwam okokuqala njengendlela phakathi kwethiyori, umnqweno kunye nento ebonakala ngathi inengqiqo ... noko yile ndlela bendicinga ukuba izobanje xa ndikhulelwe unyana wam omdala; kuba ewe, ngandlela thile kukho iziqalo ezibini zokuncancisa, eyokuqala, xa umzimba ulungiselela ukuncancisa, kwaye oko kwenzeka kwiinyanga ngaphambi kokubeleka. Isiqalo sesibini kwisenzo sokuncancisa kuxa umntwana efumana ibele likanina okokuqala kwaye ancancise (oku kuvakala kamnandi akusoloko kunjalo, kuba iimeko apho ukuzala kwenzeka khona akusoloko kufanelekile, kwaye ndibhekisa kwi ubundlobongela obubelethayo).
Uyolo lokuncancisa.
Isiqalo sethu esiqinisekileyo ekuncanciseni kwakunzima: ukuzalwa ngu ulondolozo (olungalunganga), ukohlukana kukamama nomntwana, umntana ongafuni ukuncancisa, umama ongaziyo ukuba uzoqala njani ... yonke into endiyiphuphileyo izokumosheka. Kodwa ngeso sihlandlo andizange ndinikezele, ndaye ndaphikelela ... kwaye Ndizamile kakhulu kangangokuba unyana wam uchithe iinyanga ezingama-36 encanca, de wafuna ukuyeka. Ewe, kwakukhona amaxesha apho ndandingonwabanga (ukurhawuzelela), nditsho nokuqhekeka (ndicinga ukuba ndiyakhumbula); Kodwa uyazi ntoni? Ndikhumbula amaxesha amabi ngokudlula. Kwaye bendikwazi ukuqinisekisa ukuba ndiyabazi ubumnandi endandibuziva amaxesha amaninzi xa ndincancisa. Uyolo oluyinyani, khange kwenzeke kuwe? Iyaziwa nasemva kweminyaka xa ubona umama encancisa ithole lakhe.
Ubumnandi bunxulunyaniswa nokwabelana ngesondo, kwaye isini siyinxalenye yobomi bethu, hayi kuphela ukunxulunyaniswa nobudlelwane bezesondo kunye (okanye ngaphandle) kokulalana; Ngapha koko, ayifanelanga ukuba ibe yesini kuphela. Ukuze uyiqonde ngakumbi into enokwabelana ngesondo malunga nokuncancisa, ayonzakalisi ukukukhumbuza oko i-oxytocin yaziwa ngokuba yihormone yothando: ifihliwe ekubelekeni, kwi-orgasm, naxa uncancisa. Unoxanduva lokuthatheka. Kwangelo xesha, i "maternity hormone" (prolactin) yenzelwe ukuba umama azive kamnandi. Ayimangalisi into yokuba uyolo lokuncancisa lubonwa ngolonwabo lokwenene; hayi, oomama abanamava (apho uninzi, nangona kubonakala ngathi akukho lula ukuluqonda) akufuneki babe neentloni, okanye bacinge ukuba benza into engalunganga.
Ukwabelana ngesondo: ayisiyiyo eyokwabelana ngesondo kuphela.
Ngapha koko, sihlala nayo nantoni na eyonwabisa thina. Kuyenzeka ukuba indibaniselwano yehomoni efihliweyo ngokuncancisa iyafana nezo zenziwe kubudlelwane bezesondo nomnye umntu. Ukuba unamava uya kukwazi, kuba kumnandi kangakanani ukuziva utsalwa! kodwa kukwayolo ukujonga ubuso bosana xa uncancisa! Kwaye luphi ukonwaba kokuncancisa ixesha elinikezelweyo, kwaye kukho iindawo zokusondelelana!
Yiba nesibindi sokucinga ngayo, kwaye ube nobuganga bokuziva uncancisa, cinga ukuba awuzange ubenobuganga bokukuchaza, kungenxa yokucalulwa (abaninzi) Ukuncancisa, nangona kufuneka iqondwe into yokuba abasetyhini bahlala benobunzima ekuziphatheni ngokwesini. Kodwa yinto yendalo kangangokuba kufanelekile ukuba yenziwe ibonakale.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ukonwabele oku kubonakaliswa, okanye ubuncinci ikunike izinto zokuqonda ukuba uyolo lukhona xa uncancisa usana lwakho… Ukuba kunjalo, ukuncancisa kuya kuhlala ixesha elide. Ngokwamkela oku, uya kuziva ukhuseleke ngakumbi malunga neemvakalelo ezivele malunga nolwalamano lwakho nomntwana wakho. Musa ukudideka kuba sele ubonile ukuba uyolo luyinxalenye yesini sethu, enye enye indawo. Ayisiyonto ihlazo okanye iphazamisayo ukubanga ukuba uyaguqulwa ngelixa uncancisa; Simdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba singahlulahlula zonke iimeko ezisinika ulonwabo; kwaye hayi, ayisiyo-umbulo.
Okokugqibela, ndicacile ukuba ngamanye amaxesha into oyivayo ziintlungu, okanye ukurhawuzelela xa uncancisa, oku kunye obunye ubunzima, ukuba azilungiswanga kakuhle, zinokwenza kube nzima okanye zithintele ukugcinwa kokuncelisa. Kwaye yinto esingakhange sithethe ngayo nzulu ngayo Madres Hoy, kuba ngokuncancisa okuqhelekileyo, Ngamanye amaxesha sibonakala ngathi siyalibala ngala maxesha xa ungakwazi, ke ndiyathemba ukuba kungekudala sinokwanda kwesi sihloko sinomdla.
Imifanekiso - UAurimas Mikalauskas, UPaul Cezànne, UCarolyne dubé,