Ngaba kunokuchazwa ukuba kukho ithuku lomama nelomama okanye ngaba ngakumbi ngokwakhiwa kwenkcubeko kwendima? I-Instinct ichazwa njengempembelelo yendalo, ezelwe ngaphakathi kunye nokungazi edluliselwa ngokwemvelo kwaye ibangele impendulo ethile.Ngaba kungathiwa umnqweno wokuba ngumama okanye utata ungokwemvelo ngokulinganayo, kwindalo iphela kwaye kufakwe kwi-DNA yethu? Impendulo ibonakala ngathi hayi.
Abukho ubungqina benzululwazi obuxhasa ubukho bempembelelo yemvelo yokuba nabantwana kubo bonke abantu basetyhini. Ezahlukileyo yinto esiyiqondayo Ukuziphatha kwabafazi, ezinxulumene nehomoni yioxytocin kwaye ijolise ekuqinisekiseni ukusinda kosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa. Ke ngoko, ukuba kukho ithuku, linganxulumana ngakumbi nokukhathalela isiqu esitsha kunokunqwenela ukuba wenze ubomi.
Ngaba amadoda nabafazi banemvakalelo efanayo yoomama?
Ngokuqinisekileyo uthathe inxaxheba kwincoko ethile, kunye namadoda nabasetyhini, apho bathetha khona malunga nethuku lomama okanye lotata. Abasetyhini bafundiswa ukuba bakhulise "amandla ethu oomama" besebancinci, sidlala ngoonodoli, basibiza ngokuba sisazela esiqhelekileyo, kwaye njengoko sifikelela kwiminyaka yethu yamashumi amathathu siqala ukuva (okanye hayi) ubunzima bewotshi yendalo.
Abasetyhini abaninzi baziva a Uxinzelelo olukhulu ekuhlaleni lokuba ngoomama. Kukho abo baziva benetyala kwaye benxunguphele ngenxa yokuba le ntsingiselo yendalo ayiveli ebomini babo.
UMarisa Díaz, ingcali kwi-Clinical Psychology, isini ngesini kunye ne-Master kwi-Family and Systems Therapy sele ethetha ngendima edlalwa yindoda njengotata nendlela eguquke ngayo. Namhlanje kuthathwa njengotata olungileyo okhathalelayo imfundo, ukhathalelo, isondlo okanye impilo yabantwana, ukuba iminyaka engama-40 eyadlulayo yayithathwa njengezinto zabafazi. Ke kukho iingcali esele zinxibelelana nethuku lokubeleka emntwini.
Ngaba ukufuna ukuba nosana kuqhelekile kubo bonke abantu basetyhini?
Hayi, ukuba ngumama kungumnqweno iyakuthatha iifom ezahlukeneyo kumfazi ngamnye kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ayinakuze yenzeke. Akukho mfuneko yokuziva unetyala ngayo.
Into esinokuyiqonda njengenkcubeko yoomama ibhekisa kwi ulwalamano oluthile, ngokwahlukileyo kuwo onke amabhinqa nayo yonke indoda. Kukunyanzelwa ukuba kutyhalele umama ukuba asebenzele usana lwakhe, engakhange abonakalise, ukumkhusela rhoqo nokuzincama ngenxa yakhe. Inkqubo ye- iindlela zehomoni ezithi zibangelwe kukukhulelwa zinento yokwenza nayo.
Nangona wonke umntu wasetyhini eza ngendalo elungele ukuvelisa kwakhona, ukuba ngumama kufuneka kube isigqibo somntu, kuko konke ukubekwa okanye uxinzelelo kwezentlalo. Ngaphandle kokubeleka, ukuba ngumama ngu amava eyakhiwa imihla ngemihla. Iibhondi zenziwa kancinci kancinci, ngonxibelelwano nosana, kunye nenkathalo kunye nengqwalaselo esiza kuyinika.
Ithuku labazali okanye utshintsho kwindima njengomzali
Kubonakala kucacile ukuba amadoda alungiselelwe ngokwendalo ukuba ngootata kwaye olu lungiselelo lwendalo lubhaliwe ekuziphatheni kwezinye zehomoni zalo. Lo msebenzi wehomoni uhluka ngo ubukho bomfazi okhulelweyo Ngexesha lenkqubo.
Abazali bexesha elizayo abakhapha ukukhulelwa kwabantwana babo abakhoyo ukwanda kwamanqanaba e-estradiol (uhlobo lwe-estrogen) kunye ne-testosterone encinci engalindelanga abantwana, okanye ukuhlala kude. La madoda afumana utshintsho lwehomoni ethi, kwezinye iimeko ezigwenxa, zikhokelele kwiimpawu zomzimba ezinje ngokuba isicaphucaphu kunye nokuzuza ubunzima.
Izifundo zakamva nje zengqondo zibonisa ukuba amadoda abandakanyeka ngakumbi kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla yemfundo, ukhathalelo, ukucoca kunye nokondla abantwana babo banikezela amanqanaba asezantsi oxinzelelo. Ngokumangalisayo, elinye lamacandelo abemi elinomngcipheko omkhulu wokufumana uxinzelelo ngoomama abanabantwana abancinci, ngelixa ootata bebonisa imeko eyahlukileyo.
Akuthandabuzeki abo baxhamla kakhulu kubukho bukayise ngoonyana neentombi. Lonke uphando lubonisa ukuba abazali, nokuba bakweyiphi intlalo, inkcubeko okanye imeko yezoqoqosho, badlala indima yokumisela ekukhuleni kwabantwana babo.