Ngoku kukho iindidi ezahlukeneyo zobuzali kwaye oko kuvumela abazali ukuba bafumane ulwazi olubaluleke kakhulu malunga nokukhathalela abantwana. Into engazange icinge kwiminyaka emininzi eyadlulayo, kuba iindima ezikhethekileyo zamiselwa kwiintsapho. Umama wayengumntu owayebanyamekela ngothando abantwana, ababekhula bekhuselwe ngokugqithiseleyo.
Kanti kwelinye icala kwakukho umntu ongutata, umzali ongqongqo nongqwabalala owayejongene nokungenisa imali endlwini, engakhange amise ixesha elide ukuze aqonde ubuntu babantwana. Into ngokungathandabuzekiyo eye yaphawula ulwalamano lomzali nomntwana lwabazali nabantwana kangangamashumi eminyaka. Ngokuba kwakunzima kakhulu ukuseka ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nabantwana xa uyise wayenegunya yaye unyana engumntu ongaziwayo.
Yintoni ukukhulisa ngembeko?
Ingxaki ephambili kwindlela ukuzala Kumashumi eminyaka eyadlulayo yayikukuba abantwana babengavunyelwa ukuba bahlole iimvakalelo zabo njengabantu ngabanye. Ngokungathi ayingobantu abanezakhono zabo, ngokungathi yayizizinto nje ezibonakala zifana nabemi bodidi lwesibini kwiimeko ezininzi, ngokusisiseko ezingenamalungelo. Kwakunjalo ngokwesiko, kodwa ngethamsanqa amasiko ayatshintsha. Namhlanje, abazali bayabandakanyeka kwaye abantwana banokuhlakulela ubuntu babo.
Ukukhulisa ngentlonelo umzali kusekelwe koku, ekunikeni abantwana izakhono eziyimfuneko zokuphonononga, ukwazi nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo. Izixhobo eziya kubavumela ukuba baphuhlise ngokufanelekileyo kwindawo yabo, ngokusebenzisa amaxabiso anjengovelwano, intlonipho, isisa okanye ukukwazi ukujongana nobunzima bobomi. Izixhobo ezisisiseko kwikamva lesizukulwana esinokwenza izinto ezinkulu.
Ukuba ngumzali onentlonipho kusekelwe kwiintsika ezi-4 ezisisiseko
- zifumaneke ebantwaneni. Kodwa kungekhona ngendlela engapheliyo, kodwa ukuba babekho kuwo wonke umzuzu wokukhula kwabo. Ukwabelana ngamaxesha asemgangathweni, ngaphandle kweziphazamiso ezifana nefowuni, kuba ukufumaneka kuthetha ukugxila yonke ingqalelo yakho kumntwana kanye ngelo xesha.
- Yiba nokufikeleleka. Abazali abaninzi bakhalaza ukuba abantwana babo abafikisayo okanye abadala ababathembi kwaye oku kungenxa yengxaki yokufikeleleka ebuntwaneni. Xa umntwana enengxaki, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isenokubonakala incinane kangakanani na, ufuna isalathiso sakhe somntu omdala ukuze ambuze oko akufunayo, indlela onokumnceda ngayo okanye into onokuyenza ukuze azive bhetele. Oko kufikeleleka, into engekho, ukuphendula isikhalo kunye nebinzana lokusika okanye ngaphandle kokunika ukubaluleka kwiimvakalelo zabo.
- ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo. Ukukhula kobukrelekrele ngokweemvakalelo ngundoqo ekukhuliseni ngembeko. Abantwana kufuneka bazazi iimvakalelo zabo, ukuze bakwazi ukuzichonga ngokuchanekileyo kwaye bazilawule ngokufanelekileyo ngamaxesha onke.
- Zihlonele iimfuno zabantwana. Kwihlabathi elihamba ngokukhawuleza, iimfuno zabantwana zidla ngokungakhathalelwa. Yintoni ebakhokelela ekubeni bakhule beneentloni, bengenamvakalelo yokuba bangoothile, bene-inferiority complex ngenxa yokuba abaziva bengabalulekanga kubantu abona babalulekileyo kubo.
Ekugqibeleni, umzali onentlonipho isekelwe ekuvumeleni umntwana ahlole ubuntu bakhe kwaye umkhokele kuyo ukuze afikelele kweyona nguqulelo ilungileyo kuye. Asikokubavumela benze unothanda, kuba abantwana bafuna umntu oza kubafundisa okulungileyo nokubi. Kodwa bakwafuna inkululeko yokuphuhlisa ubuntu babo, babuphonononge kwaye babuxhaphaze ukuze bafumanise ukuba bangoobani kanye kanye.
Kuphela kulapho banokuthi bakhule baze babe ngabantu abadala abasebenzayo ngokupheleleyo. Ngomthamo we Sombulula iingxaki eziya kuvela ebomini. Ngovelwano ukuzibeka endaweni yabanye, ngentlonipho kuzo zonke izinto eziphilayo. Eso sisiseko sokukhulisa ngentlonelo umzali, indlela yokunceda abantwana baphucule ihlabathi ngezakhono zabo, kunokuba babenze bafaneleke kwihlabathi elingakhathalelwanga ngabo.