Uninzi lwabazali alunakudibana xa abantwana babo bejamelana nesimo sengqondo sokuzeyisa kubazali babo. Ukusukela kwiminyaka emithandathu kuxa abanye abantwana xa baqale ukugcina isimo sokungacingeliBangamaxoki, benyanzelekile, kwaye banesiphiwo sokuphindezela. Ukujongana nale nto kufuneka sazi wenzeni ngabantwana abangoozwilakhe.
Ayikho enye indlela ebhetele kunokufundisa ngalo lonke uthando lwethu, ngaphandle kokulibala ukuzingisa kwethu negunya. Ukuba sivumela iimpawu zobuzwilakhe ukuba zizinike xa zincinci, njengoko zikhula Kunzima kakhulu ukulawula. Inkwenkwe okanye intombazana eneminyaka eli-15 ubudala sele kunzima kakhulu ukuyilawula ngenxa yemvukelo yabo kunye nobume babo obunzima bokuphatha.
Uyintoni umntwana ongqwabalala?
Abantwana baphela bebeka igunya labo kunye nokulawula indlela abaziphethe ngayo phambi kwabazali babo. Bayakwazi ukubaleka ngobuqhetseba obuncinci kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha kunokudala isimilo esibi. Indlela abalawula ngayo ukudala ulawulo lwabazali ibizwa ngokuba 'isifo somlawuli'.
Iingxoxo ziyaqhubeka, kukho izikhalo kunye nomsindo omkhulu. Bayakwazi ukwenzakalisa abazali babo kakhulu ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasengqondweni kwaye abayinyamezeli indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Banobuqhetseba kwaye banenkani, Banovelwano ngeemvakalelo zabantu ababangqongileyo, kwaye ngenxa yoko azibumbeki.
Ixesha elingaphezulu, aba bantwana baba ndlongondlongo ngakumbi Amakhwenkwe athandwayo ayenziwa, Babubona ubomi ngendlela yokuzibona ingeyiyo nosapho kuphela, kodwa nobudlelwane babo. Baza kuphuhlisa unyamezelo oluphantsi lokukhathazekaUkuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle okanye engafezekisi injongo, bayacaphuka babe ndlongondlongo.
Banokuba ngabakwishumi elivisayo abathi gwenxa imeko yeemvakalelo zabo, engayazi indlela yokuthetha. Abayi kuzithoba kwimithetho ebekiweyo kubo kwaye baya kuhlala beziphatha ngokwabo nokuzithemba okuphantsi.
Singabaphatha njani abantwana abangoozwilakhe?
Kubalulekile ukuhlalutya isicwangciso semfundo esifundiswayo, ukuba kukho into efuna ukulungiswa apha, kufuneka bobabini abazali bayavuma ukusebenzisa imodeli efanayo yemfundo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ujonge umntu onetyala kwaye kufuneka uqale yenza isiqhelo esihle, apho umntwana kufuneka athobele ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo. Ngexesha lolwenziwo utshintsho nemithetho iyenziwa, kufuneka zilandelwe kangangoko, ngaphandle kokuqubuda okanye ukurhoxa.
Ngokuqinisekileyo zininzi iingxoxo apho umntwana angafuniyo ukuthobela umgaqo othile. Kubalulekile hlala uzolile kwaye ungafumani. Ukuba umntwana uyakhwaza okanye uyathuka, ungayihoyi kwaye sukubuyisa intetho efanayo. Izoyikiso azilunganga nazo, njengoko kugqitha ukungazithembi emntwaneni kwaye kudala ukwala ngakumbi ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Kufuneka uyeke umntwana yehlisa umoya kwaye umsindo uyaphela. Ngaphandle kokushiya umbandela ecaleni, kuya kufuneka uthethe ngothando kwaye mcele ukuba ahlalutye imeko. Akukho mfuneko yokwenza impikiswano enkulu kuba ayiqhelwanga ngamagama, kodwa ewe ndikukhumbuze ngemithetho ebekiweyo kwaye kufuneka ubahloniphe.
Ngengxoxo ezolileyo Ungabanceda kakhulu abantwana bakho, kungcono kakhulu kunokuxoxa kunye nokuthetha-thethana. Kufuneka Makhe ndihlalutye imeko, kungumbono olungileyo ukuba abonakalise ukuba yeyiphi imiphumo kwaye luhlobo luni lweziphumo zokuziphatha kwakhe ezinokukhokelela.
Kwaye akufuneki ishiywe yodwa, ukuvumela iingxaki zabo zisonjululwe ngumntwana ngokwakhe, kufuneka bayiqwalasele inkxaso yethu epheleleyo. Ukohlwaywa ngokuqhubekayo, umsindo omkhulu kunye nokuba nomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha kumenza azole umntwana ndiziva ndicinezelekile ngakumbi.
Simele sizole le meko ixesha elingaphezulu kunye nomonde omkhulu. Ukushwankathela, ukuba umntwana sele eqala ukubonisa iimpawu zokuziphatha gadalala, elona cebiso lililo kubeka imida kuba zincinci, kwaye okuninzi, okuninzi kwesiqhelo.