Ukuba umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ukhetha utata wakhe, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive ubuhlungu kwaye uzikhethe. Kuba eyona nto ixhaphakileyo kukuba abantwana baziva besondele ngakumbi koomama, ngakumbi xa bebancinci kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ayifanelanga ukuba sisizathu sokukhathazeka kuba Ukuqola kunye nokudlula kwinqanaba lokufikisa kubandakanya uthotho lweenguqu kwisimo sakho sengqondo yamakhwenkwe.
Ngapha koko, umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo unokukhetha ukurhoxa kubazali bobabini, kuba ekwinkqubo yokuzifumana. Ukungazi okanye mhlawumbi, ukuqonda kakhulu, abafana baziva isidingo sokufumana indawo yabo emhlabeni. Kwaye ukufezekisa phantsi kokhuseleko lukamama, kuya kuba nzima ngakumbi.
Ukhetha uyihlo, awusandifuni?
Ingcinga yokuqala kamama xa unyana ethanda utata wakhe, akasandifuni. Oomama baziva beluncedo, kufuneka bazive bebalulekile ebantwaneni babo kuba yeyona ndima yabo iphambili leyo iminyaka emininzi. Nangona kunjalo, njengokuba abantwana bekhula bafuna indawo engaphezulu, igunya elingakumbi kunye nokuzimela. Xa kukho ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunina, lo msebenzi unokuba nzima ngakumbi.
Kwelinye icala, for abakwishumi elivisayo akukho lula ukuthetha noomama ngezihloko ezithile. Ingakumbi ukuba baziva bencinci kakhulu, ukuba basaziva ngathi lusana kunina. Kwimeko apho, eyona nto iqhelekileyo kukuba bafuna ukuhambelana kumfanekiso katata, ukusukela Abazali babonisa utyekelo oluncinci lokuhambisa abantwana. Oko akuthethi ukuba umntwana wakho akakufuni, kunoko ufuna nje ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
Indlela yokwenza
Ukuba akukho sizathu singaphaya kokufikisa, kunye nazo zonke iinguqulelo, akufuneki ukhathazeke kakhulu ngale meko. Nokuba uziva kude kangakanani, ubukhulu becala linqanaba lokuba ngendlela efanayo efika ngalo, limke. Nangona kunjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuvavanya ezinye iimeko ezinokukhokelela kunyana wakho ofikisayo ukuba akhethe utata wakhe.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bayacaphuka ngenxa yezizathu abaziqondayo kuphela, kodwa ezinokubakhokelela ekubeni bazive bekude koomama babo kunootata babo. Mhlawumbi ikho into eyenzekileyo eye yakwenza waziva ungalunganga, Kwaye ngenxa yesi sizathu kubaluleke kakhulu ukwahlula ukuba ukhetha utata wakhe njengenxalenye yokukhula kwakhe, okanye ukuba kungenxa yokuba unomsindo ngawe. Kule meko, kuya kufuneka ujongane nale meko kwaye ube nencoko nomntwana wakho ukufumana ingxaki kunye nesisombululo.
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kubalulekile ukuhlala uzolile kwaye uhloniphe iimfuno zomntwana wakho. Sukuzibonakalisa wonzakele, okanye uswele phambi kwakhe, kuba ngokunokwenzeka akakuqondi okwenzekayo kuwe. Bonisa umdla kwizinto ezikukhathazayo, kubudlelwane bakhe bobuqu, kwimidlalo ayithandayo. Ngentlonipho, nokuba kubonakala ngathi ayifanelekanga kuwe. Kungenxa yokuba ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho ukuba azive ekhululekile xa ekunye nawe, kufuneka azive ukuba unengxaki yokuliqonda ilizwe ngendlela alibona ngayo.
Utshintsho kubudlelwane bukamama nomntwana
Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nabantwana benziwa iinguqu ezahlukeneyo ebomini. Kwinqanaba ngalinye, abantwana baziva benamathele ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi kooyise okanye konina, kuxhomekeke kwiimfuno zakho. Ukuqonda ukuba ayingombuzo wokuzingca, kodwa ngotshintsho oluqhelekileyo lokuvuthwa, ngoyena ndoqo ukuze ubudlelwane phakathi kukamama nomntwana kuhlale kuchanekile.
Khumbula ukuba abantwana kufuneka bafumane kubazali babo into abanokufunda ngayo, yokujonga kunye nokufumanisa ukuba kufuneka babe njani xa bekhulile. Into ekungafanelekanga ukuba bayibone kooyise noomama babo ngumhlobo, kuba imiba ebalulekileyo enjengegunya ilahlekile kolo lwalamano. Kananjalo akufuneki ibekwe kwindawo yokukhetha phakathi koyise okanye umama, kuba inyani kukuba into efanelekileyo kukuba umntwana azive ekhululekile kuzo zombini.
Ke sukuziva ungonwabanga, okanye ufuduswe kwenye indawo, okanye ujonge indlela yokufumana indawo kwakhona kubomi bomntwana wakho ofikisayo, nokuba angathanda kangakanani na utata wakhe. Ngenxa yonyana wakho, akukho namnye ehlabathini onokubambela indima yokuba ngumama, nokuba uza kuba nolwalamano oluhle ngakumbi noyise.