Oomama abaninzi bayothuka xa malunga neenyanga ezisi-8, umntwana ubonakala esoyika abasemzini: Kwenzeka njani ukuba intombazana okanye inkwenkwe encumele wonke umntu ikwazile ukutshintsha isimilo esingaka? Ayenzeki ngamandla afanayo kubo bonke, kwaye enyanisweni inokubonakala ngaphambi kwelo xesha, okanye kamva (nkqu nakwiinyanga ezili-14/15): kuyenzeka ukuba sele ikwazi ukuzibona ngokwahlukileyo kunina, kwaye kunjalo Waziwa njengomntu phakathi kwabanye, kungoko (okwethutyana) ukuziva bengenako ukuziva.
Ke kuyindalo ukuba bakhululeke ngakumbi phakathi kwabazana nabo, phakathi kwabo bamkhathaleleyo yonke imihla. Ukuba "ingxaki yeenyanga ezisi-8" ayaziwa, okanye akuqondwa ukuba umntwana uneemfuno zakhe, kwenziwa iingxelo ezinje ngala: "oh lo sana, uyathandana", okanye "sukumvumela nawe ngoba kufuneka eyiqhelile intlalontle ”. Ukuba umamela izimvo ezithile, uya kunyanzela umntwana wakho ukuba abe sezandleni zomntu ongafuniyo, kwaye ngenene, oku akuyomfunekokodwa ukuqonda ngakumbi kwinxalenye yabantu abadala. Omnye umba onokuthi unxulunyaniswe kukuba sithetha ngomntwana oya kwindawo yokugcina abantwana ngelixa abazali bakhe besebenza, siyikhankanya apha ngezantsi.
Le "ntlekele" ikwahambelana nomnqweno omkhulu wokwazi okusingqongileyo kunye nehlabathi. awungekhe wanelise ngokwakho kuba unentshukumo ezimbalwa, ide iqale ukukhasa y andar. Ukuba ixesha lokudibana nomama liphelile oko akuthethi ukuba akamdingi, kungenjalo; kwaye kubalulekile ukuyazi loo nto ukukhula akukhe kube yinto efanayo, kwaye ukusilela kuyindalo. Ke ... masivumele ukukhula okuhambelana ngakumbi kwabantwana bethu.
Ingxaki yeenyanga eziyi-8: lutshintsho nje.
Ukongeza, siyibizile ngegama, kodwa ukungathembi ngesiquphe kwabasemzini kubonakala kuzo zonke iinkcubeko, kuba kuyinxalenye yokwakhiwa kwengqondo yabantu. Usana alusemhle okanye lumnandi, woyika rhoqo, ujonge umama wakhe ... kodwa angaba nomsindo kwaye akhale kakhulu, okanye usebenzise ezinye iindlela ukubonisa ukungavumelani kwakho naloo "mntu ungenelelayo" uthetha naye (xa bebadadlana, bangaziphosa emhlabeni ukunqanda ukuthathwa).
Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho nto yenzekayo: lutshintsho, njengoko kunjalo kwinqanaba lokufikisa ebudaleni; Abanazo iimpawu ezifanayo, kodwa ekukhuleni komntu olu tshintsho lusempilweni ukufikelela kumanqanaba kamva ngozinzo olukhulu. Ingxaki yabasemzini yachazwa ngo-50 nguRené Spitz. Ungaluxhasa usana lwakho, unciphise uloyiko, kwaye ngenxa yoko silungiselele iingcebiso, kodwa nokuba awenzanga nto ngaphandle kokulandela ubuchule bakho (hlala umbambe ngengalo, uhloniphe iminqweno yakhe, ...) kulungile.
Ukunceda umntwana.
Rhoqo ukuba, ngokuhambelana neli nqanaba, imikhwa yokulala nokondla itshintshiwe, ngenxa yokungazinzi kweentsana. Ngaba ufanele ukhathazeke? Ngokomgaqo hayi, into ekufuneka ucace gca kukuba nangona kungacetyiswanga ukuthintela uloyiko (okanye ezinye izinto ezikhathazayo ekukhuleni) akulunganga ukuzikhanyela kwaye unyanzelise ukuziqhelanisa nazo, kuba kuyo nayiphi na imeko, uya kuzoyisa ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Qaphela.
Sikubonisa apha ngezantsi izintlu ezimbini ezincinci eziza kuba ngumdla kuwe:
Izinto onokuzenza.
- Dlala imidlalo enje nge "Cu-cu tras", ezimele ukuba abantu okanye izinto zinganyamalala okomzuzwana, kodwa zibuyile.
- Nciphisa ixesha lokwahlula kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
- Chaza oomalume, oomakhulu nootatomkhulu, abahlobo, ukuba kwenzeka ntoni emntwaneni.
- Sebenzisa izinto zotshintsho xa ushiya kwindawo yokugcina abantwana (ingubo, isilwanyana esifakiwe).
Kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke hlala uzolile ngamaxesha onke.
Iimpawu zokuziphepha.
- Sukuyekelela xa elila. Kwakhona, musa ukumshiya yedwa okanye ebumnyameni, "ukoyisa uloyiko."
- Musa ukunyanzela ukuba sezandleni zomntu, ukuba akafuni.
- Kuphephe ukunyamalala ungakhange uthethe nto, ngamanye amaxesha sicinga ukuba iintsana azisiqondi, kodwa ungazicacisa.
Kwaye kuthekani ngabantwana abaya kwisikolo sabantwana abancinci okanye kwizikolo zabantwana abancinci.
Okokuqala, kufuneka kucace ukuba amava ngamanye ahlukile, kwaye axhotyiswe kokubini ngamava kunye nendlela ezinyangwa ngayo; Okwesibini, kuyacaca ukuba akusoloko kusenzeka ukuba umntwana ahlale nonina okanye utata wakhe, okanye noomawokhulu (ngexesha lomsebenzi). Zeziphi ezinye iindlela ezishiyekileyo? Ukongeza kwimfundo yasekuqaleni, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufune umntu okhathalela umntwana okanye usebenzise iinkonzo ze Umama woMhla, ukhetho olubiza kakhulu kunesikolo sabantwana abancinci, kodwa wonke umama okanye utata uyazi ukuba luhlahlo-lwabiwo mali luni na ukukhathalela umntwana.
Ngayiphi na imeko, ukuba akuyomfuneko, kuyacetyiswa ukuba kudlule iiveki ezimbalwa ukusuka ekuqaleni kwale meko intsha, ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuyisa kwigumbi lokugcina abantwana. Kodwa ukuba ukudityaniswa komsebenzi kuyahambelana (okanye ukuba umakhulu uye wagula, okanye ezinye izizathu), kwaye awunakukhetha, Into yokugqibela ekufuneka uyenzile kukuziva ungalunganga, uzive unetyala, uzive uxinzelelo, kwaye udlulisele ezi mvakalelo emntwaneni. Kuyinyani ukuba iintsana ezishiywe kukhathalelo lwabanye abantu kangangeeyure ezininzi ukusukela ukuba zincinci kakhulu, azihlali zinengxaki, kuba ziyalungiswa, nokuba kunyanzelekile.
Ngayiphi na imeko, ihlala icetyiswa hlonipha isingqisho sezidalwa, okanye ubuncinci uqonde ukuba kusempilweni ngakumbi kuthi kwaye ukuba siziqhelanise nazo (ukuziqhelanisa nokwehliswa komvuzo ngenxa yokuncitshiswa kweeyure zomsebenzi, cela utshintsho kutshintsho ukuze omnye wabazali ahlale nosana njalo njalo.)