Kubantu abaninzi phantse ayinakwenzeka into yokunxibelelana noxinzelelo kubuntwana okanye kulutsha. Le minyaka idla ngokujongwa njengeyona imyoli, neyona inamandla, neyona inomvuzo kumjikelo wobomi. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka sazi umba obalulekileyo: ukuba ngumntwana akukho lula, kwaye ukujongana nobunzima bokufikisa kufuna ibhalansi enkulu yangaphakathi kunye nosapho olwaneleyo kunye nenkxaso kwezentlalo. Yikholwe okanye ungakholelwa, ubudala obuphakathi kweminyaka eli-10 nengama-24 ngokungathandabuzekiyo lelona xesha linzima kubantu abatsha namhlanje.
Ngokutsho kwakhe "Isiko seSizwe seMpilo yengqondo«, Phantse iipesenti ezili-14 ze abakwishumi elivisayo abafunda kumabanga aphakamileyo ngamanye amaxesha bacinga ngokuzibulala, kwaye kwezi, phantse iipesenti ezi-6 bazamile ngamanye amaxeshaEyona minyaka ibaluleke kakhulu iphakathi kweminyaka eli-13 neli-18. La ngamanani othusayo kwaye abaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka anyuse ulwazi, okokuqala kwiintsapho kwaye kamva, onke amanqanaba ezentlalo ukuphumeza amanyathelo okuthintela kunye nokhathalelo. Nangona kungekho manani ngqo kwinani le- ukuzibulala minyaka le kula maqela yobudala, iingcali zisixelela idatha ezimbini ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe: iinzame zokuzibulala ziyanda, kwaye umda wobudala uyehla. Umzekelo olusizi ngokwenene owenzeka eSpain ngulowo Diego, inkwenkwana eneminyaka eli-11 kuphela ubudala egqibe ubomi bayo ngenxa ukuxhatshazwa. Te invitamos a reflexionar sobre ello en «Madres Hoy».
Uxinzelelo kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo
Unjani umntwana okwishumi elivisayo okanye umntwana onexinzelelo? Sinokuba, umzekelo, intombazana ethe phithi yiyo nayiphi na enye nguHarry Potter, yokufunda indlela yokuqaba izithambiso kwizifundo zeYouTube, othumela iifoto zakhe kwi-Instagram amaxesha ngamaxesha kodwa uchitha iiyure engafakwanga ebhedini yakhe. inqaku lefestile ngelixa usizi lumbamba kwaye lumrhaxisa, engafuni enye into, kwaye nangaphantsi ukuya eklasini. Kunokwenzeka ukuba naye ngokwakhe akazi kakuhle ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuye, kwaye akazi nokuba le nto yenzekayo kuye inegama.
Ngamanye amaxesha iintsapho ngokwazo zihlela le ndlela yokuziphatha njengesiqhelo, zikuloo minyaka xa indlela aziphethe ngayo ifana nokutshintsha-tshintsha, amandla kunye nobuvila, ukungxola nokukhala. «Uya kukhula», «Uya kufumana ngaphezulu», abanye ootata, abanye oomama bacinga. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba xa kufikwa kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo, elona xesha lilungileyo lihlala "ngoku", imfundo ayihlehliswa, iincoko azihlehliswa, amaxhala ahleliwe. Abantwana bayasidinga ngeli xesha kwaye kufuneka ubenomdla kwaye wamkele malunga nokuziphatha kwabo.
Uxinzelelo kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo: iimpawu
I-WHO uqobo (Umbutho wezeMpilo weHlabathi) kule minyaka ili-15 idlulileyo sibone ukwanda Inani labantwana nakwishumi elivisayo abafumene uxinzelelo. Iingcali zisixelela kuqala kuzo zombini ezi zinto zibalulekileyo: eyokuqala, ukuba usizi alufani kwaphela nokudakumba. Okwesibini, ukuba i-WHO ngokwayo icebisa ukuthintela ukulawulwa kwe-anti-depressants ebantwaneni nakubantu abancinci.
Kuya kufuneka siqale ngamanye amanyathelo, ezinye iindlela, ezinje ngokunyanga kokuziphatha. Nangona kunjalo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo, njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambili, kukujonga ezi mpawu zinokubonisa ingxaki yeemvakalelo ebantwaneni bethu.
- Okubi xa usiya eklasini. Xa ilixesha lokulungiselela ukuya esikolweni okanye kwiziko, baphendula ngokungalunganga, uloyiko okanye uxinzelelo.
- Kuqhelekile ebantwaneni nakwishumi elivisayo ukuba neengxaki zokungalali, ukondla, amaxesha okucaphuka okuphezulu, imiceli mngeni eqhubekayo, kunye nesidingo sokuba wedwa.
- Into ekufuneka isenze silumkise kukuba bayayeka ukwenza into ababenomdla kuyo ngaphambili okanye umdla wabo. Ukungakhathali, ukucotha, ukuphelelwa ngamandla, ukudinwa okanye intloko ngokungathandabuzekiyo zizinto ekufuneka zisenze silumke.
Izizathu ezinokubangela
Unobangela wokuba umntwana okanye umntwana ofikisayo agqibele ekufumaneni enexinzelelo ngokungathandabuzekiyo ahluke kakhulu. Inkqubo yangaphakathi yokwakhiwa ngokutsha kwesazisi, ukuba semngciphekweni komntu kwiimeko ezininzi, okanye imvakalelo yokungafaneleki kuluntu ngamanye amaxesha olunzima njengoko kuvumelekile kwangaxeshanye, yenza abantu bethu abancinci bazive bengadityaniswanga okanye bengenako ukufumana indawo yabo emhlabeni, bayikhusele kwaye bonwabele oko bakubonayo ntsasa nganye phambi kwesipili.
- Ukongeza koku, zininzi nezinye izizathu. Inqaku losapho okanye imbali yoxinzelelo kutata okanye kumama ihlala ithwala ubunzima obuninzi, kunye namaxabiso athile emfundo.
- Ubudlelwane noontanga babo, ukuxhatshazwa esikolweni, ubudlelwane bokuqala obunomdla okanye ukwamkelwa kwemizimba yabo, zihlala ziyinto ekufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo kuthi sonke, ukusuka kumacandelo ethu, kufuneka siye ngendlela enobulumko kodwa engaguquguqukiyo.
"Unyana wam une stress"
Uxinzelelo asiyomvakalelo eyahlukileyo kwingqondo yabantu abadala. Kuya kufuneka siyiqonde into yokuba uxinzelelo njengoxinzelelo zizinto ezimbini ezenzeka kuthi ezivele engqondweni zethu njengempendulo "kwengozi". Xa ingqondo yethu ifumana isoyikiso isilungiselela ukubhabha.
Namhlanje asizukubaleka kwiibhere okanye kwamanye amaqela abantu anobutshaba njengoko ookhokho bethu benzayo. Namhlanje sineentshaba ezingabonakaliyo ezenza ukuba umzimba wethu usebenze, kwaye ezivelisa inqanaba eliphezulu le-cortisol emzimbeni wethu ukuya kuthi ichaphazele impilo yethu.
Kwaye nabantwana bayasinda kule mvakalelo. Inkqubo ye- uxinzelelo, njengoxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo ziingxaki zokwenyani ebuntwaneni. Ngokumalunga noxinzelelo, umzekelo, yinto esezantsi yemihla ngemihla kwiintsapho ezinolindelo oluphezulu ebantwaneni bazo.
- Balindele ukugqwesa, ukugqibelela kubo, bafuna ukuba ngabona bahle, banesakhono kwaye banobuchule kubantwana. Ngale nto, into abayiphumezayo kukwazisa umntwana kwinto eqhelekileyo kuthi sonke «ukukhawulezisa». Kufuneka siye kuyo yonke indawo, senze izinto ezi-5 ngaxeshanye, senze into yanamhlanje kodwa kwangaxeshanye silungiselele ingomso, asizinyamezeli iimpazamo kwaye ukungaphumeleli kuyinyambalala nje.
- Ukuba yonke le milinganiselo iyingozi kubantu abadala, isiphumo kumntwana kuyonakalisa. Ke ngoko, kufanelekile ukukhumbula isihloko esele sijongane naso kwindawo yethu «Ukuzalela kubushushu obuphantsi«. Kuya kuba malunga nokuhlonipha isingqisho somntwana. Kuba kulilize ukuba nabantwana abafezekileyo ukuba abonwabanga. Yinto ekufuneka siyithathele ingqalelo leyo.
- Okwangoku, into eyenzeka rhoqo rhoqo ngenxa yale meko yentlekele, ngumnqweno wokunika ilizwe elinobuchule ngakumbi kunye nabantwana abakhuphisanayo ukuze baphumelele kwimeko enobunzima kunye nobutshaba. Akukho mntu waziyo ukuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni kwixesha elizayo, ke Masikonwabele nje okwangoku kwaye sifundise abantwana bethu ixabiso lokonwaba. Mhlawumbi, kubukrelekrele obaneleyo beemvakalelo, ekuthobekeni kwabo, nakulonwabo lwabo, banokuba ngabantu abadala ngomso abakwaziyo ukutshintsha umhlaba.
Ukuqukumbela, sicebisa ukuba ubukele okufutshane ukuze ufundise abantwana nabantu abadala kulawulo lweemvakalelo zoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo. Yonwabele.