Kwiveki ephelileyo, abazali bakaDiego González bayenze yacaca gca ileta yabo yokuvalelisa: wayeneminyaka eli-11 ubudala, kwaye yonke into ibonisa ukuba wayekhathazwa kukungcungcuthekiswa kwiziko lemfundo awayefunda kulo ... ukuzibulala kuye kwaba kuphela kwendlela yokufumana le nto ayifunayo (hayi ukuya eklasini). Kuninzi okubhaliweyo kwaye sathetha ngako ngalo mbandela, ukanti isazela sentlalontle siyaxakaniseka: nathi sinako ukuba nehlazo kunye neengxoxo ezivuthayo, njengoko silibala ngesihloko ngexesha elifutshane. Oko bendisitsho iminyaka ukuba masiqale ngokuyeka ukuthi 'ezi zizinto zabantwana', sidlulele phambili bathathe inxaxheba kutshintsho olunzulu kwezentlalo nakwezemfundo… Ngaphandle koko okuncinci kuya kutshintsha.
Qaphela ukuba ngokoluvo lwam, umnxeba woncedo wamaxhoba oxhatshazo oza kuphehlelelwa nguRhulumente kwinyanga nje (ngaphakathi kwesiCwangciso-qhinga soBumbano lweZikolo) ubonakala ngathi 'usisiqwenga' kum; Ndifuna ukuba undiqonde, andithethi ukuba ngumlinganiso ongenamsebenzi, kukuba sifuna kakhulu okanye nangaphezulu, ukuba abantwana bethu bafunde UKUPHILA, kunye nokulawula ukungqubana ngaphandle kobundlobongela. Iza kusinceda kuba abantwana abaxhatshazwayo baya kuba nendawo ekubiza kuyo uncedo (ukuba abathembi mntu omdala osondeleyo); Ayizukusinceda ukuba abazali babaxhaphazi bajonge omnye umntu ngaphandle kwabo, okanye ukuba ootitshala bayakuphepha ukwenza imisebenzi yezemfundo ngaphaya kwekharityhulam yezifundo. Kodwa andifuni ukujija, kwaye ewe: siza kukuxelela malunga nesiCwangciso, esele sisazi ngoba kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo iwindow enolwazi inikwe amandla malunga nemisebenzi yabo kwiwebhusayithi yabaphathiswa; kodwa hayi namhlanje.
Ndikhethe ukulinda kuba iintlungu zingandivumeli ukuba ndicacise iingcinga zam kakuhle, kwaye ngoba Sonke siyayazi into eyenzekileyo ku-Diego, kunye nobunzima abadlula kubo abazali babo; Siyazi ukuba (umzekelo) IFinland isixhaphaze kuba apho basebenza njengoko kufanelekile (kubandakanya uLuntu luphela). Ngekhe ndathetha ngayo imiqondiso elumkisa ngokuxhaphaza, okanye iinkqubo ezisebenza apha eSpain, kodwa Ndithathe isigqibo sokujongana nokuzibulala kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo, engabangelwa kukuxhatshazwa kuphela.
Ngaphambi kokuntywila kwidatha, izizathu, njl. Ndingathanda ukukhankanya ezinye iingxelo ezivela kugqirha wengqondo yabantwana waseColombia ogama lingu ULuis Alberto Ramirez: isixelela ukuba phakathi kwezona zinto zibangela ukuzibulala ebantwaneni luxinzelelo ebuntwaneni kunye nokuba sesichengeni kwabantwana nakwishumi elivisayo abakhula bengqongwe yindawo enzima yentlalo (inetyhefu, ndingayibiza njalo). Ziyongezwa uloyiko lokusilela kunye nekamva; Ukuba singqongwe kukungabikho kokuqonda kwabazali, sinokwenza iziganeko ezineziphumo ezibi. Kuyamangalisa ukuba athethe 'ngomceli mngeni' abawubeka abazali xa bedibana nabantwana abakhathazekileyo ... 'Ngaba oku kuvakala ngathi kuyintombazana okanye inkwenkwe? akanathemba nosongela ukuzenzakalisa, kwaye abazali bakhe bamgculela ngokumgculela? 'Ewe, sonke siyaqonda ukuba umzali akafuni ukuba umntwana wakhe enze isoyikiso, Kodwa ukuyiphatha ngale ndlela kanye yinto abanokuyifumana. Ke lumka kakhulu, kwaye ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into uthando kunye nokuqonda nabantwana abanexesha elinzima; ukuba ukuqonda kwethu kungagutyungelwanga, kwaye masibe nethuba lokufuna uncedo xa kukho imfuneko.
Yintoni echaza indlela yokuziphatha yokuzibulala ebantwaneni?
Kubantwana kwenzeka ngokungaqhelekanga, kuyanda ukusuka kwinqanaba lokufikisa (khumbula ukuba oku ungaqala kubudala beminyaka eli-10); e-United States, kwaye ngokwe-CDC ingunobangela wesithathu okhokelela ekufeni kwiqela elineminyaka eli-15 ukuya kwengama-24 (emva kwengozi nokubulawa kwabantu). Eyothusayo ke into yokuba umntu oneminyaka eli-15 athathe ubomi bakhe, Ngokufa ngakunye kwesi sizathu kuye kwakho iinzame ezingama-25. Njengoko sinokubona kule theyibhile ilandelayo epapashwe yi-WHO, ikwayindlela yesithathu ekhokelela ekufeni (kodwa kwiminyaka eyi-10-19) emhlabeni.
Ndothukile xa ndifunda ukuba imeko yentlalo, usapho kunye nokuziphatha kuchaphazela kakubi indlela yokuziphatha kwabakwishumi elivisayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukuzibulala kuthathwa njengesisombululo
Akufuneki sigwebe iingcinga zabo, okanye sithathe kancinci izoyikiso zabo; kodwa zama ukuziqonda kwaye ubanike inkxaso abayifunayoKuba kuyakubakho amaxesha apho inkxaso kamama okanye yotata kuphela kwento abacinga ukuba banayo. Rhoqo 'ukufuna ukufa' kuvela kwimeko yoxinzelelo. Into ecace gca kukuba umntwana ukusukela kwiminyaka eyi-10, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi ngaphambili, uyazi kakuhle ukuba ukufa akunakuguqulwa, ke kufuneka ndiphinde: 'musa ukuhlekisa ukuba uva inkwenkwe okanye intombazana ithetha ngalo mbandela' .
Izinto zomngcipheko.
Ukuba unonyana okwishumi elivisayo, ndifuna ukuba wazi ukuba uhamba ngeqonga elihle eligcwele amathuba akhe: inkululeko engaphezulu kuneminyaka eyadlulayo, uxanduva oluncinci kunangexesha lokuba ndimdala, abahlobo ukuba bazi, iindawo zokufumanisa, uthando lokuqala, ukufunyanwa kwesazisi, ubudlelwane bezesondo, izicwangciso zexesha elizayo ... Kodwa ikwayiminyaka engaqinisekanga apho uxinzelelo okanye intlalontle inokulawula, okanye zombini ngaxeshanye Kuyaxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi, kodwa kubudlelwane nabazali ngokunjalo.
Kwezempilo zaBantwana, Sifumene ubudlelwane bezinto ezonyusa umngcipheko wokuzibulala:
- Imizamo yokuzibulala yangaphambili.
- Imbali yoxinzelelo okanye ukuzibulala kusapho.
- Ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemoyeni, ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwesondo (Ukuphathwa gadalala ngayo nayiphi na indlela). Kuquka ukuxhatshazwa.
- Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo njengokudakumba okanye ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi; iimvakalelo zokudakumba okanye ukucaphuka.
- Ubudlelwane obubi nosapho, ukwahlulwa ekuhlaleni ngenxa yokungabinayo inkxaso kwimeko-bume yabo.
- Ubutshaba babanye kubungqingili babo, ubufanasini okanye ukuthandana kwabantu besini esinye.
- Imvakalelo zokuphelelwa lithemba ezibangelwa kukujongela phantsi
Abakwishumi elivisayo bazibulala ngokuba basebenzise iziyobisi ngokugqithisileyo (khumbula uAlan), okanye utsibe kwiindawo eziphakamileyo.
Ngokweminye imithombo, amantombazana acinga kabini ngokuzibulala, kwaye amakhwenkwe asweleka ngokuzibulala amatyeli amane kunamantombazana
Umntwana wakho ukuthumelela imiqondiso ...
Uhlala ekuthumela imiqondiso malunga neemvakalelo zakhe, inkxalabo yakhe, uthetha nawe malunga neengxaki zakhe naxa engavuli mlomo; Ewe ulutsha kufuneka luphulaphulwe ngabazali notitshala!Into eyenzekayo kukuba banxibelelana nathi ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Musa ukulinda omncinci okulandelayo ngamehlo, 'okuthandayo' nokulinda ngokungapheliyo ukuba akubone ukuba akuxelele izinto ezintlanu ngaxeshanye, musa ukulinda: kodwa usadlala indima ebaluleke kakhulu kwaye iyimfuneko ebomini babo, kwaye loo ndima ibandakanya imiba enje bancede bamelane neli hlabathi okanye babakhusele, ukuba iyafuneka.
Ngaphambi kokuba akuxelele ukuba ukuzibulala kungunobangela wesithathu okhokelela ekufeni kuluntu olufikisayo, ngoku kufuneka ndikuxelele ukuba imeko iyanda, njengoko kuqinisekiswa ngedatha evela (umzekelo) eArgentina, ilizwe elinamatyala iphindwe kathathu ekuqaleni kweshumi leminyaka elidlulileyo. Ayifanele ithathwe njengehlaya.
Nokuba siyayivuma okanye hayi luluntu ngokwalo kunye neemfuno zalo; okanye ziimeko ezithile ezinxulumene nesikolo (ukungaphumeleli, ukuxhatshazwa) okanye usapho (ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo), Ezo zityhala abantu abangekafiki kwiminyaka yobudala ukuba bazibulale. Anditsho ukuba ukuzibulala kumntu omkhulu akuyonto imangalisayo, kodwa ayisiyonto ilungileyo oko kwenzeka xa ungekabinalo ithuba ukuphucula amandla abo?
Iimpawu ezibonakalayo.
Ezi sizibonisa apha ngezantsi zizibonakaliso ekuyimfuneko ukunikela ingqalelo kuzo, ngakumbi ukuba zivela ngendlela engagungqiyo, okanye ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo nesicacileyo:
- Ukuziphatha ngogonyamelo.
- Kunzima ukugxila.
- Inkangeleko yentloko okanye isisu esibuhlungu, ukudinwa.
- Ukuphulukana nomdla kwimisebenzi yesiqhelo yokuzonwabisa.
- Utshintsho kubuntu bakho.
- Ukuthetha ngomlomo okunxulumene neemvakalelo zokungazixabisi ngokwabo ('Andikhathali nganto', 'andifuni kuqhubeka ukuba yingxaki', ...)
- Ukuba neengcinga ezingaqhelekanga
- Bekela bucala abahlobo bakho.
- Ukusetyenziswa kotywala okanye iziyobisi.
- Ungakhathali kwinkangeleko yabo yobuqu.
Ukuba uyazi umntwana okanye umntwana ofikisayo ofikayo olu tshintsho lugcinwe ngokuhamba kwexesha, jonga ukhetho lokujika uye kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo ukumnceda nosapho; 'ukuvumela ixesha lidlule' yeyona nto imbi onokuyenza, kuba umntu ochaphazelekayo usengozini. Uxinzelelo kunye notyekelo lokuzibulala lunokunyangwa; Luxanduva losapho ukuba lujonge umntu ofanelekileyo ukunceda amakhwenkwe kunye namantombazana ukuba babe sempilweni.
Ukufikisa kunye noxinzelelo: Iziphumo zokuziphatha okusoyikisayo?
Uxinzelelo Ayizibonakalisi (okanye ayisoloko ihleli) ngokudakumba, kukho abantu abathi 'bazivumele', ngengqondo yokungazinakekeli, abanye bakwimeko embi, balale kakubi ...
Ukufunda I-American Academy yabantwana kunye ne-Adolescent Psychiatry, ibonisa ukuba nangona iziphumo zokuxhatshazwa zichazwe kakuhle, kuncinci okwaziwayo malunga nomphumo wayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha sifunda ngezakhe ifuthe kubuntu obudalaKodwa ngoku bancinci, kwaye kufuneka senze umzamo wokubanyamekela. Umsebenzi ubonakalisa ukuba ngokubanzi, ulutsha luziva lusizi iiveki ezininzi (iipesenti ezingama-30), zinemibono yokuzibulala (22%), kunye nokuzama ukuzibulala (iipesenti ezisi-8). Kodwa amaxhoba oxhatshazo anokuphinda ama-3 amathuba okuba babe nemibono okanye iinzame zokuzibulala.
Kuyenzeka kuthi bantu badala ukuba siyoyika ukubuza ukuba siyakrokra na, kuba Siphazama ukuqonda ukuba ngokuthetha ngosizi okanye izimvo zokuzibulala, siya kunika abantwana bethu umbono ombi; Akunjalo: xa sibuza sibonisa inkxalabo, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukubeka ingcinga yolu hlobo kwiintloko zabo ngaphandle kokuba babe nayo kuqala.
Khumbula ukuba ukusukela kwiminyaka eli-9 umntwana sele eyazi ukuba ayinakwenzeka into yokuguqula ukufa, kwaye oko kunokuchaphazela nabani na, yiyo loo nto singabantu abadala abajongene nabantwana, kunye noluntu ngokubanzi (kubandakanya nesikolo) abo kuthi ekufuneka bephendule kolu celomngeni: Njengoko benditshilo, ngumbono ombi ukwenza ihlaya lokucinga ngokuzibulala, kuba kubi kakhulu.