Ngokuvamile abantu batheleleka ngezinto ezinhle abazibona zibazungezile, yizimo eziletha injabulo noma injabulo kulabo abasondelene nabo. Uma utshela abangane bakho nomndeni wakho ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, uhambo oluya endaweni ekumangazile, uludlulisa ngenjabulo yokuthi abantu abaseduze kwakho batheleleke ngaleyo njabulo futhi nakanjani, bazizwa inkohliso yokwazi ukuthi leso simo sikhiqize ini kuwe.
Okufanayo kuyenzeka nokuba ngumama, empeleni kube nezifundo eziningana eYurophu maqondana nalokhu. Okuye kwabonwa yilokho ukukhulelwa "kuyathathelana" phakathi kwabesifazane abahlala endaweni efanayo Komphakathi. Ngokunengqondo lapho sithi kuyathathelana, asibhekisi esithathelwanayo esifana nomkhuhlane. Lokhu kuthathelana kungokomzwelo.
Isifiso sokuba ngumama sithathelana kanjani?
Lapho owesifazane ethola ukukhulelwa akufunayo, okuveza injabulo futhi kumgcwalise ngokukhanya, uyakwazi ukudlulisa le mizwa kubantu abamzungezile. Abanye besifazane emsebenzini wakho, emndenini noma endaweni ohlangana kuyo nabantu bangabona ukuthi kanjani umzwelo wakhe womama uyavuka futhi uqhakaze, ukuze baqale ukuzwa isifiso sokukhulelwa.
Ezimweni eziningi lokhu kwenzeka kwabesifazane abathi ngandlela thile babe nomuzwa wokuthi banesifiso sokuba ngumama, kepha abangasaba izinkinga ezingaba khona, ekubelethweni noma ekumeni abazi ukuthi ukukhulelwa kunjani. Namuhla azikho izisu eziningi njengasezikhathini ezidlule, ngakho-ke akuvamile ukuthi abesifazane abaningi bakhule ngaphandle kokuthola ukukhulelwa okuzungezile.
Ukungazi kungadala imizwa engafanele, uvalo nokwesaba okungaziwa. Futhi lokhu kungadala ukuthi owesifazane asifihle leso sifiso sokuba ngumama, kunokuba abhekane nalokho kwesaba.
Bonke abesifazane abazizwa benesifiso sokuba ngumama
Yize ucwaningo olwenziwe luphetha ngokuphelele futhi lunquma ukuthi kukhona ukutheleleka phakathi kwabesifazane ngaphambi kokukhulelwa, lokhu akubathinti bonke abantu. Kukhona abesifazane abangazizwa ngempela ubizo lokuba ngumama, nganoma yiziphi izizathu ezingaphansi kwenkululeko yabo yokuzikhethela. Ukuthi ukhulelwe futhi uphila ngokujulile nangokomzwelo futhi wabelane ngakho nabo bonke abantu abakuzungezile, akusho ukuthi ungavusa kuwo wonke umuntu isifiso sokufuna ukukhulelwa.
Kungani owesifazane okhulelwe angavusa isifiso sokukhulelwa kwabanye abantu?
Lapho wazi okwenzeka kwabanye abantu emibuzweni ekwenza ube nokungabaza, uthola impendulo kokuningi kokwesaba kwakho. Phila ngokuseduze ukukhulelwa komuntu owaziwayo, osebenza naye emsebenzini noma umngane noma ilungu lomndeni, ngaphandle kokungabaza ngandlela thile uthonya umbono wakho wokuba ngumama. Ukwazi ukuthi abanye abantu bayakwazi ukukwenza, ukukhulelwa, ukukhulelwa okunempilo, ngaphezu kokubeletha, kungakusiza uzizwe ukuthi nawe uzokwazi ukukwenza.
Abesifazane abaningi abanokungabaza ngokukhulelwa bangathola impendulo futhi bazi izici ezinhle zokuba ngumama. Umbono we ukuba ngumama kushintshe kakhulu eminyakeni yamuva, abantu bafuna ukuba nolwazi oluthe xaxa, ukwazi zonke izici ezizungeze izingane zabo futhi ayikho enye indlela engcono yokwazi konke lokhu ngaphandle kokuzizwela kumuntu wokuqala.
Akumangazi-ke ukuthi izifundo ezenziwe zanquma ukuthi lokhu kuthathelana okungokomfanekiso kwenzeka phakathi kwabesifazane abaneminyaka efanayo, ababelana ngemvelo yomphakathi, kungaba ngumsebenzi, umndeni noma ubungani, futhi abasezimweni ezifanayo ngokwezifundo nangesikhundla senhlalo.
Mhlawumbe ngemuva kokufunda lolu lwazi, ungathola elinye icala labesifazane abavela endaweni yakho abakhulelwe ngasikhathi sinye. Mhlawumbe kuyicala lakho futhi ucabanga ukufuna ukukhulelwa ngokutheleleka, ungakhathazeki, akuyona ingozi. Uma uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela, kungenxa yokuthi mhlawumbe leso sifiso besikuwe isikhathi eside, ulele, ulinde isikhathi esifanele sokufika.