Kungani ingane yami ingafuni ukuboleka amathoyizi ayo?

Indodana yethu isicela ukuthi siyiyise ebaleni lokudlala nomngane omuhle kakhulu ovela esikoleni sabantwana. Siyavumelana nesicelo sakho, kepha kumele silinde izinsuku ezimbalwa ngoba ayiyeki ukuna. Ngemuva kokuqongelela ukukhathazeka nemicabango, umzuzu obukade ulindelwe ekugcineni ufika. Unina womngani wakhe unikele ngenjabulo ukujoyina nathi.

Izingane zidlala buthule esihlabathini ngamabhakede azo, ama-rakes namafosholo. Ngokungazelelwe, ukudonswa kwebhakede eliluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka kuyaqala. Akekho futhi ozimisele ukukuyeka. Sithola ukuthi indodana yethu ingumnikazi wethoyizi bese siyacela ukuthi iliboleke umngani wayo. Uyenqaba ngokuqinile futhi sishaywa ngamahloni futhi asazi ukuthi senzeni. Ngemuva kwemizuzu embalwa ibhakede eliluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka lizosala esihlabathini bese udweshu luqhubeka phezu kwefosholo elibomvu. Siqala ukuzibuza ukuthi: ingabe ingane yethu inobugovu ngokwemvelo? Ngabe siyawenza amaphutha njengabazali, senza amaphutha kwezemfundo? Kufanele sisabele kanjani?

Ukuziqinisa
Okokuqala, kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi phakathi konyaka wesibili nowesithathu wokuphila, kuzalwa ubunikazi bomntwana uqobo. Uma izingane zingakwazi ukuhlukanisa ngokusobala phakathi kwazo nomhlaba wonke, kancane kancane, zizowuthola lowo mehluko. Bazokwazi kuqala ukuzibona esibukweni noma esithombeni; lapho-ke bazohlola umzimba wabo bese bewuhlukanisa nezinto zangaphandle; ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bazofunda ukuhlukanisa abantu futhi babone amagama abo.

Cishe eminyakeni emibili, ingane iqala inqubo yokuziqinisa. Elinye lamagama izinkanyezi ezinsukwini zakhe elithi "Mina". Yize engaliphimisi njalo, ujwayele ukunciphisa umkhawulo phakathi komuntu wakhe nowabanye ngezenzo zakhe zansuku zonke. Udlalela yedwa futhi, lapho kunezinye izingane, udlala nabo, kepha kuyaqabukela "enabo".

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokuyiphikisa, iyaqinisekisa ukuthi ingubani. Ukube wayethathwe yilokho abantu abadala abamtshela khona, wayengeke azi ukuthi unazo yini izifiso noma izinhloso zakhe. Indlela ecacile yokuzizwa unentando yakho futhi yehlukile kwabanye abantu ukuthi "cha." Izenzo zokuphika zihambisana nezinkani nokuhlubuka, nakho okuyisici salesi sikhathi: akafuni ukudla, ukulwa nezinye izingane noma ukuphula amathoyizi.

Ukuzicabangela wena wedwa ngaphambi kobugovu
Le nqubo yokuqinisekisa ubunikazi bayo ihambisana nesethi yokuhlangenwe nakho abake baphila futhi baqhubeka nokuphila, okwenza ingane izizwe njengesikhungo sendawo yonke. Selokhu azalwa ubenazo zonke izidingo zakhe; abazali bakhe bamnakekele kwaze kwaba semininingwaneni emincane kakhulu futhi bamnike lonke uthando lwabo, uthando nokuqonda kwabo. Umuzwa wokwehluka, ongaphindaphindeki nokwehluka kwabanye, kanye "nokujwayelekile" lapho ingane ithola khona ukunakwa nothando lwabazali bayo, kukhuthaza ukuzikhukhumeza okukhulayo. Lesi sici kufanele sithathwe njengesigaba esijwayelekile sokuthuthuka kobuntu bakho hhayi njengekhwalithi engemihle.

Ukukhula kwakhe ngokwengqondo nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe njengokuzalwa komfowenu omncane noma ukuhlala nezinye izingane esikoleni samabanga aphansi, kumenza aqonde, kancane kancane, ukuthi akayedwa emhlabeni nokuthi kukhona "abanye" nabo wayenakekelwa futhi etotoswa njengaye. Ukusabela kwabo kuleli sheke kuvamise ukuba kubi, kubhebhezele ukuzicabangela kwabo.

Umuzwa wobunikazi
Ingane yazi kahle ukuthi yini eyayo, kepha futhi ifuna ukwenza okwayo lokho abanye abanakho. Ngakho-ke, akazimisele ngokubolekisa ngezinto zakhe kuphela, kepha futhi uhlwitha izimpahla zezinye izingane noma abantu abadala abaseduze kwakhe ngaphandle kokulinda noma iluphi uhlobo lwemvume.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akakakwazi "ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomunye" noma ukwamukela ukuthi kunamanye amaphuzu wokubuka noma imicabango okungeyona eyakhe. Yingakho eqala ukuthatheka, ngokwesibonelo, lapho ugogo wakhe engafuni ukumboleka indandatho eyisikhumbuzo somndeni. Umemezela ukuthi akasamthandi futhi ushiya ethukuthele engalalelanga izincazelo zothandekayo wakhe.

Yini okufanele uyenze kulezi zimo?

• Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ungakhathazeki ngale ndaba noma ucabange ukuthi ingane yethu "imubi" ngokwemvelo.

• Qonda ukuthi ingane idlula kwesinye isigaba ekukhuleni kwayo, esizonyamalala ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

• Ungakhombisi ukusabela okweqile: ukuvumela ngokuphelele, noma ukujeziswa okungapheli.

• Lindela ukuvela kwengqondo kwengane uqobo ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo nezinye izingane ukuyikhombisa izinzuzo zokwabelana ngemidlalo nezinto nokuzicela kunokuyithatha ngqo.

• Sebenzisa ukubekezela, ukuqonda kanye nemfundo ngomoya omuhle wezingane zethu.

• Yazi ukuthi akuyona inqubo elula noma esheshayo, kepha ukuthi yenzeka kancane kancane futhi yakha isigaba esisodwa ekuzivumelaniseni kwengane nemvelo yomphakathi.

I-BIBLIOGRAPHY
U-Eva Bargalló Chaves, "Unyaka wesithathu wokuphila", Wazalwa futhi wakhula. Umhlaba wendodana yakho igxathu negxathu, iBarcelona, ​​iSalvat, 2000, Umqulu XV.
ULuciano Montero, I-adventure yokukhula. Izindlela zokuthuthuka okunempilo kobuntu bendodana yakho, iBuenos Aires, iPlaneta, 1999.