Kwezinye izikhathi sikhulume ngozwela, lelo khono lokuzibeka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu, kepha kwenzekani lapho uzwela lungekho? Ukungabi nozwela kusho ubunzima bokuzikhipha kanye nokwazi, ukuqonda noma ukuzwa lokho omunye umuntu abhekene nakho. Lokhu kukhubazeka kwenzeka kubantu abadala abaningi, kepha nasezinganeni.
Uma usola ukuthi indodana noma indodakazi yakho ayizwelani nemizwa nemizwa yabanye abantu, ungamsiza athuthukise leli khono. Yebo, ukuzwelana kungafundwa futhi kuthuthukiswe, kwezinye izindatshana sincome imidlalo, izincwadi noma ama-movie ukukugcina engqondweni.
Zinjani izingane ngaphandle kozwela
Into yokuqala esifuna ukuyisho yilokho Ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka okukhulu, akekho ongenalo uzwela. Lokhu kuyinkinga yokuphazamiseka kobuntu obuthile, njenge-narcissistic, antisocial or disorderline disorder. Kungenzeka ukuthi ingane ayazi ukuthi ingalukhuluma kanjani uzwela, noma ayikhuli ezindaweni eziyikhuthazayo. Ngendlela, kufanele siqede inkolelo yokuthi izingane ezine-autism azinalo uzwela, ngoba ziyakwazi ukubona imizwa yabanye abantu.
I-Los hhayi abantu abadala abazwelana kakhulu abaphila becwile eqinisweni labo futhi abawunaki umhlaba wabanye, izinkinga zakho nemizwa yakho. Lesi simo sengqondo esifanayo singabonakala kubafana nasemantombazaneni, ngokuvamile abonisa kuphela ukubaluleka ngenxa yalokho okwenzeka kulabo abasondelene kakhulu nabo. Khumbula ukuthi izingane nazo ziyakhathala, zizizwe zicindezelekile futhi ziyagula, lolu hlobo lwe-elementi luzobenza bazizwe benozwela oluncane kunokujwayelekile.
Ngomqondo USimon Baron-Cohen, uchaza uzwela njengokuhluka okuqhubekayo okuhlukana kube ama-degree ayisithupha. Futhi kuchaza nokuthi kuvame kakhulu ukungabi nakho kunokuningi. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukungabi nozwela kuvamile ezigabeni ezithile ezibalulekile, njenge ubusha, kepha lokhu ngeke kusiholele ekucabangeni ukuthi yizingane noma intsha enozwelo oluncane.
Kungani lokhu kuntuleka kozwela kwenzeka?
Ngokuya ngocwaningo lombhali oshiwo ngenhla, uBaron-Cohen, kunezici ezithile ezinqumayo uma kuziwa ekungazwelini. Isibonelo, ngaphezulu testosterone yakha umbungu esibelethweni sikanina, ungabi nozwelo kuzoba ngemuva kokuzalwa. Leli thonya le-testosterone lithathwa njengesizathu sokuthi kungani abesifazane bevame ukuba nozwelo kakhulu kunamadoda.
I-Los Izakhi zofuzo nazo zingaba nethonya uma kukhulunywa ngozwelo oluningi noma oluncane. Okubi kakhulu ukuthi ithonya elikhulu ekuthuthukiseni umthamo amava ebuntwaneni, nakuyo yonke impilo, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kokunganakwa nokuhlukunyezwa.
Njengoba uzwela lukhula, kunengqondo ukuthi eminyakeni ethile, ingane ayinalo uzwela. Lesi yisici sokukhula esijwayelekile ngokuphelele. Akunangqondo ukulindela ingane engaphansi kweminyaka emihlanu ukuzwelana nabanye ngempela. Awunalo ikhono lokuzibeka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu. Uzwela lwangempela lwabanye lukhula eminyakeni yobudala eyi-8 noma eyi-9.
Izici ezinomthelela
Izingane ezine Izinkinga zokunaka ukushiyeka ngokweqile zivame ukuba nobunzima ekuqondeni uzwela. Kuyafana nasezinganeni ezicindezelekile ngemizwa eminingi engokomzwelo evela kubazali nakubanakekeli, noma ezinganeni ezinemilutha. Ngokwengeziwe, ukuphazamiseka kobuntu okufana ne-narcissism, i-borderline personality disorder, kanye ne-antisocial disorder, nayo eyenzeka ezinganeni, yenza kube nzima ukuzwelana.
Abanye izimpawu ezingakuthusa uma ingane yakho ingazizwa izwelana Kubandakanya ukuphathwa kabi kwezilwane, ukuqamba amanga njalo, izinselelo eziphathweni, ukuxhashazwa, ukuziphatha ngonya, ukwehluleka ukuphendula ekujezisweni, nokungazisoli nganoma ikuphi ukucekelwa phansi.
Ngizo umelaphi ozohlola ingane bese ekunika amasu afanele ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana kangcono nesimo. Kuzokusiza futhi njengomama ukuthi uqonde ukuthi kungani ingane yakho iziphatha ngaleyo ndlela.