Kungashiwo yini ukuthi kukhona umuzwa womama nobaba noma kungokwakhiwa ngokwamasiko kwendima? Imvelo ichazwa njengomfutho wemvelo, ongokwemvelo nongazi lutho odluliswa ngokwezakhi zofuzo futhi ubangele impendulo ethile.Ngabe kungashiwo ukuthi isifiso sokuba ngumama noma ubaba sizalwa ngokulinganayo, sibanzi futhi sifakwe kwi-DNA yethu? Impendulo ibonakala ingucha.
Abukho ubufakazi besayensi obusekela ukuba khona kwesifiso esingokwemvelo sokuba nezingane kubo bonke abesifazane. Okuhlukile yilokho esiqonda ngakho ukuziphatha komama, ezihlobene ne-hormone oxytocin futhi ehlose ukuqinisekisa ukusinda kosana olusanda kuzalwa. Ngakho-ke, uma bekunomzwelo wemvelo, bekuzohambisana kakhulu nokunakekela isidalwa esisha kunesifiso esingokwemvelo sokwenza impilo.
Ngabe abesilisa nabesifazane banesifiso esifanayo somama?
Impela uke wabamba iqhaza engxoxweni ethile, nabesilisa nabesifazane, lapho bekhuluma khona ngesifiso sikamama noma sikayise. Abesifazane bafundiswa ukukhulisa "umzwelo womama" kusukela besebancane, sidlala ngonodoli, basibiza ngokuthi umuzwa ojwayelekile, futhi njengoba sifinyelela eminyakeni yethu yamashumi amathathu siqala ukuzwa (noma cha) isisindo sewashi lezinto eziphilayo.
Abesifazane abaningi bazizwa a ingcindezi enkulu yezenhlalo yokuba ngomama. Kukhona abazizwa benecala futhi bekhungathekile ngoba lolu lwazi lwemvelo aluveli ezimpilweni zabo.
UMarisa Díaz, ongungoti kwiClinical Psychology, isazi sezocansi kanye ne-Master in Family and Systems Therapy usevele ukhuluma ngendima edlalwa ngumuntu njengobaba nokuthi iguquke kanjani. Namuhla kubhekwa njengobaba omuhle okhathalela i imfundo, ukunakekelwa, umsoco noma impilo yenzalo, ukuthi eminyakeni engama-40 eyedlule yayibhekwa njengezinto zabesifazane. Ngakho-ke kukhona ochwepheshe asebevele bahlobanisa umuzwa womama kumuntu.
Ingabe ukufuna ukuba nengane kuzalwa kubona bonke abesifazane?
Cha, ukuba ngumama kuyisifiso ukuthi kuzothatha amafomu ahlukene kowesifazane ngamunye futhi kwesinye isikhathi kungenzeka kungaze kwenzeke. Asikho isidingo sokuzizwa unecala ngakho.
Esikwazi ukukuqonda njengokwemvelo komama kubhekisa ku- a isibopho esithile esithintekayo, kwehlukile kubo bonke abesifazane nakuyo yonke indoda. Kuyisifiso esidudula umama ukuthi enzele ingane yakhe izinto, ngaphandle kokucabanga, ukuyivikela njalo nokuzinikela ngayo. I- izindlela ze-hormonal okubangelwa ukukhulelwa kuhlobene nakho.
Yize wonke umuntu wesifazane eza ngokwemvelo elungele ukuzala, ukuba ngumama kufanele kube isinqumo somuntu siqu, kukho konke ukubekwa noma ingcindezi yomphakathi. Ngaphandle kokubeletha, ukuba ngumama a isipiliyoni lokho kwakhiwa usuku nosuku. Izibopho zenziwa kancane kancane, ngokuthintana nengane, nangokunakekelwa nokunakekelwa esizokunikeza kona.
Isimo somzali noma ushintsho lwendima njengomzali
Kubonakala kucace ukuthi amadoda akulungele ngokwemvelo ukuba ngobaba nokuthi lokhu kulungiselelwa kwemvelo kubhalwe ekuziphatheni kwamanye amahomoni ayo. Lo msebenzi we-hormonal uyahluka nge ubukhona besifazane okhulelwe ngesikhathi senqubo.
Abazali besikhathi esizayo abahamba nokukhulelwa kwezingane zabo bakhona amazinga e-estradiol andile (uhlobo lwe-estrogen) ne-testosterone encane engalindeli izingane, noma ukuhlala kude. Lawa madoda abhekana nezinguquko ze-hormonal okuthi, kwezinye izimo ezimbi kakhulu, ziholele ezimpawu zomzimba ezifana nesicanucanu nokuzuza komzimba.
Ucwaningo lwakamuva lwe-psychobiological lukhombisa ukuthi abesilisa ababambe iqhaza kakhulu emisebenzini yansuku zonke yokufunda, ukunakekela, ukuhlanza kanye nokondla izingane zabo banikela amazinga aphansi oxinzelelo. Ngokudabukisayo, elinye lamaqembu wabantu elinengozi enkulu kakhulu yokuhlushwa ukucindezeleka ngomama abanezingane ezincane, kuyilapho obaba bekhombisa okuhlukile.
Akungabazeki labo abazuza kakhulu ebukhoneni bukayise ngamadodana namadodakazi. Lonke ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi abazali, noma ngabe bakusiphi isimo senhlalo, amasiko noma ezomnotho, badlala indima enqumayo ekukhuleni kwezingane zabo.