Izinhlobo zomama: izinselelo ezahlukahlukene, ukuthanda okufanayo

Uma sikhuluma ngokuba ngumama, izingqondo zethu cishe zivele zicabange ngokujwayeleka okuvamile kwezithandani phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane okuthi, ngesikhathi esithile, banqume "ukuthatha igxathu" befuna leyo ngane yokuqala. Kodwa-ke, sonke siyakwazi lokho isenzo sokuba ngumama siza ngezindlela eziningi ezahlukahlukene, ngezikhathi ezahlukahlukene nangaphansi kwezimo ezahlukahlukene ezidlula kude lokho, isilinganiso, sithambekele ekuboneni kaningi.

Ngenxa yeqiniso lokuthi kuncane kakhulu okufanele ukwenze asigubhe usuku lomama, kusuka esikhaleni sethu sifuna ukukumema ukuthi uzindle nathi ngezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zomama. Ngoba wonke umuntu wesifazane ukhululekile kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngokunquma ukuthi uzoletha kanjani leyo ngane emhlabeni futhi kanjani, nokuthi uzothatha kanjani isinqumo sokumfundisa. Futhi bonke, noma besesimeni esinjani, inkolo yabo noma ubulili babo, ngokungangabazeki bazosithanda leso sidalwa esifisayo njengengxenye yabo; yingakho, inkokhiso yethu.

Izinhlobo zokubeletha, izinketho ezahlukahlukene sithandwa esifanayo

Ukuba ngumama onesizungu, imindeni enomzali oyedwa

Ngokusho kwe- ISpanish Fertility Society (SEF) unyaka nonyaka abesifazane ababalelwa ku-1.500 bakhetha izindlela ezisizwayo zokuzala ukuze babe omama. Kulokhu, njengokujwayelekile, singangeza amacala abesifazane okuthi, ngemuva kokuthola umlingani ocansini, nabo bakhethe ukubhekana nokuba ngumama bebodwa, kanye nalabo abakhetha ukutholwa noma okumele babhekane nokukhulisa izingane bodwa ngokulahlekelwa noma ukulahlwa lozakwethu.

Noma kunjalo, ukubhekana nokukhulisa ingane kuphela kuyinselelo okuyilapho, izindleko ezinkulu ezingokomzwelo nezomuntu zitshalwa lapho Izikhungo zezenhlalakahle ngokungangabazeki kufanele zinikeze ukwesekwa okukhulu kulawa macala. Ngaphandle kwalokhu, wonke umama okulesi simo uphila ngokugcwele nalesi simo, ikakhulukazi uma ekhethiwe.

• Kusuka ekhasini "omama abangabodwa ngokuzikhethela»Basinikeza usizo olukhulu maqondana nemininingwane nezinsizakusebenza esingaba nazo uma siphila ngaleli qiniso. Kumele futhi kuthiwe maqondana nokwamukelwa kwabantwana, kubonakala sengathi le nketho iya ngokuya inyuka.

Imvamisa kwenzeka ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane abaneminyaka yobudala emaphakathi engama-42 abanokuzimela okwanele kwezomnotho, Futhi ngubani ofuna lolu hlobo lokukhetha uma kukhulunywa ngokuba ngomama. Ngokuvamile, okuningi kwalokhu kuthathwa kwezamazwe kungamazwe omhlaba futhi kuthatha isilinganiso sonyaka nohhafu ukusebenza ngempumelelo.

Kodwa-ke owesifazane ukhethe ukwenza umama yedwa, izinkinga ezinkulu angahlangabezana nazo yilezi ezilandelayo:

• Ukucindezeleka ngenxa yomthwalo wemithwalo yemfanelo.
• Izinkinga phakathi kokulinganisela kwempilo yokuphila kanye nempilo yomndeni.
• Abesifazane abaningi bangase babhekane nokucwaswa nokungaqondi ezindaweni zabo zomsebenzi uma kukhulunywa ngokuqhakambisa imisebenzi yabo. Ngenxa yesibopho sakhe ezinganeni zakhe, imibono yakhe eminingi yobuchwepheshe inciphile.
• Elinye iqiniso okufanele licatshangelwe ukubhekisa ezinganeni zomama abangabodwa. Kujwayelekile ukuthi uma isikhathi sifika, babe nokukhathazeka nentshisekelo yokwazi ngobaba wabo, noma lezo zimpande ingane ngayinye eyamukelwe evame ukuyiveza ngasikhathi esithile.

Umndeni wabazali

Imindeni ehambisana nobungqingili (leyo lapho abesilisa noma abesifazane abambalwa bengabazali bengane eyodwa noma ngaphezulu) ikhule kakhulu eminyakeni yamuva ngenxa yemithetho emisha evumela imishado yabantu bobulili obufanayo, futhi ngenxa yalokho, ilungelo lakho lokuqala umndeni.

• ESpain kunemininingwane yokuthi kanjani imindeni engabazali bobabili phakathi kwabesifazane ababili iphakeme lezo zamadoda amabili ngenxa yamasu okuzala kanye ne-in vitro fertilization. Abesilisa kumele basebenzise lokho okubizwa nge- "surrogacy", inketho engakalawulwa emazweni amaningi nalapho kusenezikhala ezinkulu nezinkinga.

Nokho, Kumele kuthiwe lolu hlobo lomama lusanda kwenziwa: ngoJanuwari 2008, iNkantolo YaseYurophu Yamalungelo Abantu yakhipha isinqumo sokuthi abantu bobulili obufanayo banelungelo lokutholwa noma lokuthola izingane uma bethanda.

Uma umuntu ezibuza ngemiphumela yokukhulisa ingane ngabantu ababili bobulili obufanayo, kufanele kuthiwe izifundo ezenziwayo ngalokhu zicacile:

• Ngokuvumelana ne "American Psychological Association«, Amakhono okukhulisa izingane omama abathandana nabobaba abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesifazane abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa yini abavame ukuphakama kunaleso sabazali abalingana nabobulili obufanayo.
• Imindeni yobungqingili ithuthukisa inhlalakahle yezingane ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo, ngokungangabazeki njengezibopho ezicebisayo njengalezo ezihlinzekwa yinoma imuphi umbhangqwana ongqingili owuthanda futhi onakekela izingane zawo.

Ngokuphathelene nobunzima imibhangqwana engobungqingili evame ukubhekana nabo, ngokungangabazeki iningi futhi iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu:

• Ukwenqatshwa kwezenhlalo ngamaqembu amaningi kusekhona futhi akuhlali kunjalo.
• SKusenokubandlululwa okuthile ekuphathweni, kanye nakwezinye izikhungo zemfundo (ikakhulukazi ulayini wamaKhatholika) lapho lolu hlobo "lomndeni" senzelwe khona.
• Qaphela ukuthi kujwayelekile nokuthi izingane ezikhuliswe yimindeni engabazali abangabodwana zihlushwe ngandlela thile ngabalingani besikole.
• Kwesinye isikhathi, imindeni engabazali abangabodwa ayinakho ukuxhaswa yi-100% yazo zonke izihlobo zayo.

Ukuba ngumama esemncane nokuba ngumama esemdala

Ukuba ngumama akuhlali kuza ngesikhathi esifanele, kungaphezulu Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi ngesikhathi lapho sifuna ukuba omama, umzimba wethu awusavundile kangako futhi siphoqeleka ukuthi siphendukele kwesayensi ukuphendula isidingo esifika ngesikhathi esidingeka kakhulu nesifanele.

Konke kusebenza ngokulinganayo inqobo nje uma leyo ngane ifiswa. Manje siyakwazi lokho izingane kwesinye isikhathi zifinyelela eminyakeni emincane kakhulu, ngesikhathi lapho singakakhuli ngokomzwelo nangokomuntu uqobo. Ukuba ngumama ebusheni kwesinye isikhathi kuyinto ehlukumezayo ephoqa leyo ntombazane ukuthi ibambe iqhaza angakalilungeli.

• Kodwa-ke, okuningi kwalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kamuva kuphenduka isikhathi esimnandi sokukhula komuntu uqobo esizisola ngabambalwa besifazane. Kodwa-ke, lo mama osemusha ngokungangabazeki uzodinga ukwesekwa okwanele komndeni nezikhungo azokwazi ukubhekana kangcono nokukhuliswa kwengane yakhe.
• Yini okukhathazayo ukuba ngumama kwafika ezikhathini ezivuthiwe kakhuluNaphezu kwezingozi ezihilelekile, zimbalwa izinto ngokuqinisekile ezifiswayo. Kungumkhuba wokuthi manje sesibona ngokwengeziwe ngokujwayelekile nsuku zonke. Kule miphakathi engahambisani kahle nokukhuliswa nokuba ngumama, abesifazane kumele baqale baziqeqeshe ngobungcweti ukuze bafinyelele kulokho kuzinza komuntu siqu nokonga okungahambisani ngaso sonke isikhathi "nomjikelezo wayo wemvelo."
• Ngakho-ke, lapho isikhathi sifika, unquma ukuthatha lesi sinyathelo futhi abe ngumama. I-adventure enhle engangabazeki ukuthi izophila ngamandla nokuzijabulisa njenganoma yimuphi omunye umuntu wesifazane.

Ukuphetha, njengoba sibona kunezinhlobo eziningi zobumama. Konke kusebenza ngokulinganayo, konke kuyahlonishwa, futhi konke kuyajabulisa. Ukuphela kwento edingwa yilezi zinhlobo zezinketho nezimo inhlonipho yethu, ukunconywa kwethu, futhi ngaphandle kokungabaza, ukwesekwa okukhulu okuvela ezikhungweni ukuze ukukhulisa ingane akuyona inselelo egcwele ubunzima, ngaphandle noma kwesimo esihloniphayo lapho kukhona ukubuyisana namathuba alinganayo.