Sonke siyazi ukubaluleka kokuhlangana kwabantu ukudala isibopho esiqinile ngokomzwelo. Okunamathiselwe kungachazwa njengesibopho esihambisanayo umuntu noma isilwane esakha phakathi kwaso nenye ethize, isibopho esibahlanganisa emkhathini futhi esihlala ngesikhathi.
Okunamathiselwe akuyona nje ukuxhumana kwabantu ababili; kuyisibopho esifaka phakathi isifiso sokuxhumana njalo kanye nesipiliyoni sosizi ngesikhathi sokuhlukana nalowo muntu. Lokhu kudlala indima ebaluleke kakhulu ngesikhathi sobuntwana, njengoba kubangela izingane nabanakekeli babo ukuba basondele. Ngokuhlala eduze kwabanakekeli, izingane zingaqiniseka ukuthi ziyanakekelwa futhi ziphephile… futhi zizizwa kahle. Zikhula ziqinile ngokomzwelo. Kepha kungani okunamathiselwe kubaluleke kangaka ebuntwaneni?
Isibopho esingokomzwelo phakathi kwabazali nezingane
UJohn Bowlby wayenguyise wenkolelo yokunamathisela futhi ngokusho kwakhe, okunamathiselwe kufana nokuxhumana okungapheli kwengqondo phakathi kwabantu. Uphawule ukuthi ubuntwana budlale indima ebaluleke kakhulu ekuhlanganiseni ubuhlobo, futhi okuhlangenwe nakho kwasekuqaleni kungaba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni obakhiwa ngabantu kamuva empilweni. Izinanyathiselwa zingahlala impilo yonke.
Okunamathiselwe kokuqala kwifomu kunabazali noma abanye abanakekeli abasondele, yingakho uB Bowlby ecabanga ukuthi okunamathiselwe kunengxenye enamandla yokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Lezi zixhumanisi zokuqala nabanakekeli zigcina ingane iphephile futhi ivikelekile, ngaleyo ndlela kuqinisekiswe ukusinda kwengane. Okunamathiselwe kukhuthaza izingane ukuthi zihlale ziseduze nabazali bazo, kuzivumele ukuthi zinikeze ukuvikelwa, ukuphepha nokunakekelwa. Lokhu kusiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi ingane inakho konke okudingayo ukuze iphile nokuthi abazali bazosondela enzalweni yabo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bazophila ngaso sonke isikhathi. Okunamathiselwe kuyadingeka ukuze izinhlobo zabantu zingashabalali.
Izici ezine zokunamathiselwe
UJohn Bowlby uphakamise ukuthi kunezici ezine ezibucayi zokunamathiselwe:
- Ukulungiswa kwamakhasimende. Kuyisifiso ukusondela kulabo esihlanganyela nabo okunamathiselwe kwi-imeyili. Siyakujabulela ukuba phakathi kwalabo esizihlanganisa nabo, ngakho-ke silwela ukuba seduze kwabo noma nini lapho kungenzeka.
- Indawo ephephile. Kuyisidingo sokubuyela ngokomzimba kubantu bokunamathiselwe ukuze basinakekele futhi bazizwe bephephile. Ngezikhathi zosizi, ukwesaba, noma ukungaqiniseki, singabheka kubantu esibabophele ukunakekelwa nokunethezeka. Kufana nesiphephelo esingokomzwelo ukuze usinde.
- Isisekelo esiphephile sokuhlola. Okunamathiselwe kuvumela nokuhlola okuphephile, into ebaluleke kakhulu ngesikhathi sobuntwana. Lesi sisekelo esiphephile sivumela izingane ukuthi zihlole umhlaba zazi ukuthi zisengabuyela ekuphepheni kwesibalo sokunamathiselwe.
- Okokugcina, izingane zihlangabezana nosizi lokwehlukana lapho zihlukaniswa nenani lokunamathiselwe. Isibonelo, izingane zivame ukuthukuthela futhi zikhale lapho abazali kufanele bazishiye zinakekelwe abanye.
Kungani okunamathiselwe kubalulekile?
Okunamathiselwe kufeza izinhloso eziningi ezibalulekile. Okokuqala, kusiza ukugcina izinsana nezingane zisondele kubanakekeli bazo ukuze bathole ukuvikelwa, okusiza ekwandiseni amathuba abo okusinda. Lokhu kuhlangana okubalulekile okungokomzwelo kuhlinzeka nezingane ngesisekelo esivikelekile lapho bangahlola khona ngokuphepha imvelo yabo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, indlela ingane exhunywe ngayo nabanakekeli bayo ingaba nethonya elikhulu kokubili ebuntwaneni nasesikhathini esizayo. Kunezitayela ezinamathiselwe ezahlukahlukene ze- chaza isibopho esithintekayo izingane ezinaso nabazali bazo noma abanakekeli bazo.
Ukwehluleka ukwakha isibopho esiphephile nomnakekeli kuye kwaxhunyaniswa nezinkinga eziningi ezibandakanya ukuphazamiseka kokuziphatha nokuphazamiseka kokuphikisana nokuphikisana. Uhlobo lwesibopho olubonakala empilweni yokuqala lungaba nomphumela ohlala njalo ebudlelwaneni bakamuva nabantu abadala.
Ukuhlolwa okuyimpikiswano
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uHarry Harlow senze uchungechunge lwezivivinyo eziyimpikiswano ngokuhlukaniswa komphakathi ezinkawini okukhombise imiphumela emibi yokuphazamisa okunamathiselwe kusenesikhathi. Ngokuhlukile kokuhlolwa, izinkawu ezisencane zahlukaniswa konina zabekwa komama abazalelwe ngokwesivumelwano. Umama wayeyizikhali nje zocingo eziphethe ibhodlela, ngenkathi omunye umama embozwe ngezinto ezithambile ezibabazekayo. UHarlow uthole ukuthi izingane ezinemfene zizothola ukudla kumama ocingweni, kepha uncamela ukuchitha isikhathi sabo esiningi nomama onamahloni.
Uma kuqhathaniswa nezinkawu ezikhuliswe ngomama abazizalayo, izinkawu ezikhuliswe ngomama abazitholile zazinobuhlakani obukhulu kepha zahlushwa izinkinga zomphakathi nezingokomzwelo. UHarlow uphinde wathola ukuthi kunesikhathi esibucayi lapho kungaba khona izinyunyana ezijwayelekile. Uma izinkawu zazingavunyelwe ukwenza okunamathiselwe phakathi naleso sikhathi, umonakalo ongokomzwelo abawutholile wawungeke uphenduke.
Yize kunempikiswano futhi kunesihluku, ucwaningo lukaHarlow lusize ekuboniseni ukubaluleka okubaluleke kakhulu kokukhulisa okunamathiselwe okuphephile nokunempilo zisencane. Okunamathiselwe okunjalo kudlala indima ebalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kwesikhathi esizayo. Abazali kudingeka bakugcine lokhu engqondweni lapho bengabazali.
Okunamathiselwe okuphephile
Njengabazali, kubalulekile ukusebenzela ukunamathiselwa okuphephile. Kungale ndlela kuphela lapho izingane zingakhula ngendlela enempilo, zazi ukuthi abanakekeli bazoba seceleni kwabo futhi bazobanakekela futhi babavikele.
Izingane ezikhula zisungula ukunamathela okuphephile kwabanakekeli bazo zizokhula zijabule futhi ziphumelele empilweni. Abazali akudingeki nje kuphela ukuthi babekhona ukunakekela izidingo eziyisisekelo nezingokwenyama zomntwana, kodwa futhi kufanele babe eceleni kwabo ezingeni lomzwelo. Nakekela umntwana lapho ekhala futhi umnikeze induduzo engokomzwelo, umbambe ezandleni zakhe noma nini lapho eyidinga, ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nomncane, ukujabulela ukuzihlanganisa nomncane ... Ukumfundisa ngokuhlonipha isigqi sakhe nezikhathi zakhe, ukumnika uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi!