Uma namanje ungazi mayelana buyini udlame lwe-gaslight, kule ncwadi ozithola kuyo sichaza ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza luquketheni. Sikhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa okucashile okungokwengqondo okwenzeka ezimweni eziningi kwabesifazane, ngamadoda kanye nabanye besifazane, bezama ukuguqula umbono wabo weqiniso.
Kuyinkinga umphakathi obhekana nayo okunzima kakhulu ukuyibona, yisisulu kanye nabantu abamzungezile. Lolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza kwenziwa ngokuqhubekayo isikhathi eside futhi kunemiphumela emibi kakhulu kulabo abahluphekayo.
Kule ncwadi, ngeke sikhulume kuphela ngokuthi luyini lolu hlobo lobudlova, kodwa futhi nezimpawu ezicacile zokulukhomba kanye nemiphumela eqondile kwabahlukunyezwayo.
Buyini udlame lwegesi?
Lolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza lwaziwa nangokuthi i-gaslighting.. Leli gama liqala ukusetshenziswa njengomphumela wefilimu ethi Gaslight kaGeorge Cukor. Ohlelweni lwale filimu, kulandisa ukuthi umyeni womlingiswa oyinhloko uqala kanjani ukwenza umsindo othile, ukushintsha izinto endaweni kanye nolunye uchungechunge lwezenzo ezenza owesifazane akholelwe ukuthi uyahlanya, aze angabaze impilo yakhe.
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo akudingekile ukuba kuhlanganiswe nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, kodwa kufanele kugcizelelwe ukuthi iningi labantu abasebenzisa ubudlova benza kanjalo ngokwengqondo. Udlame lwe-gaslight yindlela ezama ukukhohlisa isisulu, ihlanekezela iqiniso laso.. Kufinyelela eqophelweni lokuthi ukuzimela nokuzinza kwemizwa kuyalahleka.
Uthe isisulu sizizwa sinecala ngokuphelele kukho konke ukugula okukhona phakathi kobudlelwano obunothando.. Ugcina esenziwe ize futhi acabange ukuthi akukho akwenzayo noma izinqumo azithathayo ziyahambisana. Kuwukuhlukumeza, njengoba sibonisile ekuqaleni, kucashile futhi kunemiphumela emibi kakhulu. Njengeqiniso lokuthi isisulu salolu hlobo lokuhlukunyezwa sihlukanisiwe ngokuphelele nemvelo yakhe noma umhlaba omzungezile.
Izimpawu nemiphumela yodlame lwe-gaslight
Njengoba sesibonile, le ndlela yokuhlukumeza ihlose ukuqeda ngokuphelele nokuthobisa isisulu phambi komhlukumezi waso. Kuwuhlobo lobudlova Isekelwe ekuphindaphindweni kweziqinisekiso ezithile, ukuphikwa kwamaqiniso enzeke ngempela kanye nokusetshenziswa kokuncika ngokomzwelo..
Udlame lwegesi luyingozi ngempela njengezisulu. Bakholelwa ngokuqinisekile ukuthi ukuzinza kwabo ngokwengqondo akulungile futhi baqala ukuzihlukanisa nezwe. Ngokungabi nezimpawu ezicacile njengakwezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza, kungaba nzima ukunikeza isignali ye-alamu.
Kunezimpawu ezithile ezingakhombisa ukuthi umuntu uhlushwa yilolu hlobo lodlame esikhuluma ngalo. Kumele kuqashelwe lezi zimpawu, ukugwema uchungechunge lwemiphumela emibi kakhulu empilweni yengqondo yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe.
Esokuqala sazo yilokho umuntu osebenzisa udlame uthe ngokuqhubekayo uphinda imishwana engemihle njengokuthi "Uyahlanya", "Ulahlekelwa ingqondo". Ungakwazi ukuphinda imishwana ethile ebhekisela eqinisweni lokuthi kufanele uzivalele esikhungweni sengqondo.
Noma ngubani osebenzisa ukuhlukumeza uyingcweti yokuguqula izimo futhi azibeke endimeni yesisulu. Lokhu kubangela ukuthi umuntu oyisisulu ngempela azizwe enecala futhi azibophezele kukho konke. Uthe umuntu ohlukunyeziwe akasoze alunge futhi uzozama ukufinyelela eqophelweni lokweqa ukwahlulela kwakhe.
Abantu ababhekene nalolu hlobo lodlame basuke behlanekezelwe iqiniso labo, baze bazizwe bengebobo buntu. Baze bayingabaze eyabo imibono, izindlela zokuzizwa noma zokwenza. Abantu abasebenzisa lokhu kuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo, usebenzisa amanga ngokuqhubekayo, ehlambalaza yonke into isisulu sakhe esingase siyisho.
Kumele kubhekwe ukuthi lolu hlobo lodlame, Ingenzeka kuzo zombili izilungiselelo eziyimfihlo nezisesidlangalaleni. Akuvamisile ukuzibonakalisa ezigabeni zokuqala zobudlelwano, kodwa kunalokho kubonakala futhi kuthuthuke ngokuqhubekayo.
Uma uqala ukusola ukuthi othile ubhekene nodlame lwegesi, ungangabazi ukukhuluma nalowo muntu. Mnikeze usizo lwezengqondo, umgcine eseduze kwakho nezihlobo zakhe futhi, ngaphezu kwakho konke, shayela ku-016. Le nombolo yocingo ingeyokusiza izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa.