Kunentsha eningi eye vele sebephuza utshwala ngaphandle kokuhlola imiphumela yokusetshenziswa kwayo ngaphambi kweminyaka evunyelwe. Kukhona nabazali abaningi abathi ngaphansi kwegunya lakho nomthwalo wakho wemfanelo usuvele uyazibuza ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani nengane yakho ngotshwala.
Isihloko singaba nzima ngoba uma kukhulunywa ngaso inkinga yezempiloIzikhathi eziningi kubukeka sengathi kuyindaba yokuphoqelelwa futhi lokho kungaholela ekuhlubukeni okwengeziwe komuntu omusha. Iminyaka yobusha yisikhathi esihle kakhulu sokukhetha nokukhuluma ngale ndaba ngakho, ngoba babuswa endaweni esondele futhi ngokungazi basondele ekwazini ukuyihlola.
Kungani kufanele ukhulume nengane yami ngotshwala?
Ngoba izingane ezisukela eminyakeni engu-15 noma ngeminyaka embalwa zincane sebeqala ukunambitha utshwala. Umuntu osemusha oqala ukusebenzisa kusenesikhathi maningi amathuba okuthi abe ophuza ngokwejwayelekile isikhathi eside
Le ntsha, uma ifinyelela iphethini engalawulwa, ingaba yiziphuzo futhi thatha isibonelo sokudakwa okuningi. Ukusetshenziswa kwayo kungaba yinkinga ngoba kungahle kuhlobene nengozi, inkathazo ngomthetho nezingxoxo nomndeni nabangane.
Utshwala buhlale bukhona kuzo zonke izizukulwane nentsha thatha njengesiqalo ukuzwa izimo ezintsha. Bathanda ukuqhubekela phambili kakhulu futhi bazi ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwayo kuzobenza bazizwe bekhululeke kakhudlwana ukukwazi kube kunoma yisiphi isimo. Impela ubaba akakulungele ukuqala ingxoxo nendodana yakhe, kepha kufanele ukwenze futhi uthole umzuzu.
Ungakhuluma kanjani nengane ngotshwala?
Kufanele uthole umzuzu ongcono kakhulu wokuthi uzokhuluma nini ngawo, futhi hhayi ngokuzumayo. Okubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ucabangani ngokuphuza utshwala futhi ukhona kanjani empilweni yakho yezenhlalo. Thola ukuthi bacabangani ngakho futhi uma bethanda ukuphuza nabangane, babuze ukuthi kungani.
Uma le nkinga ize ngenxa yokuthola ukuthi ingane yakho iyaphuza futhi ifike ekhaya inezimpawu ezicacile nezisobala, kungcono ukusebenzisa ukulawula kwabazali, kepha ungalokothi uxabane. Ukuxhumana kufanele kuqinise, ukuzama ukuxhumana ngaphandle kwethoni enolaka neyenziwa. Futhi ngobudlelwano bezindlela ezimbili, lapho kufanele ubheke izizathu bese ubayeka bakhulume bachaze izizathu zabo.
Uma isizathu esiyinhloko sokuphuza utshwala kungenxa yokuthi kukwenza ube ngumlingiswa ophambili, ujabule kakhulu futhi uthandwe lezi zinganekwane kumele ziphikiswe. Kufanele kuvezwe ukuthi ukuphuza kudala isimo esishintshile sokwazi futhi kukwenza uzizwe "uphakeme" kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kudala ukudabuka okwengeziwe nezimo zemizwa yentukuthelo.
Siyazi ukuthi singabazali ngubani kufanele sibonise ngendikimba futhi kufanele sibe yisibonelo senkomba. Ukuze singaniki leso sithombe kufanele siqale ukusenza imisebenzi yokuzilibazisa enempilo futhi ungangeni emanzini okuphuza uphuza.
Impela kufanele uzilungiselele ngoba manje yiba yindodana yakho ebuzayo uma uphuza utshwala usemusha. Uma impendulo inguyebo futhi uyayivuma, kufanele ukwalule lokho ayikhiqizi nakancane futhi ungabala zonke izikhathi ezingemnandi ezenzekile.
Izizathu ongatshela ngazo ingane yakho ukuthi ingaphuzi
Kufanele ubheke izizathu bese umhlaziya ngokujulile lobo butshwala esigabeni sentsha akukuhle. Kunezizathu eziningi eziholele ekutheni osemusha angabi nesiphetho esihle noma angapheli ngobuhlobo obuhle kakhulu. Izinkinga zesikole zingaba ngumthombo oyinhloko, uma ingane iphuza imiphumela yokufunda ingabi mihle. Yini enye, zibenze benze ubugebengu noma benze ubugebengu obunodlame njengokudlwengula noma ukubamba inkunzi.
Ukuphuza ngokweqile yisihloko esidlula kakhulu. Umuntu omusha oqala esemncane maningi amathuba okuthi dala ukuncika ekuphuzeni. Lokhu kuholela emaphuzwini amaningi, ukuba umlutha wotshwala nokwanda ukwanda komsebenzi wezocansi lapho kudingeka khona ukuveza ukuthi maningi amathuba okuthi bakwenze ngaphandle kokuvikelwa futhi bangathathi imiphumela.
Utshwala nalo bulethile izingozi ezihlobene nokufa. Ukufinyelela esimweni esishintshile kusuka ekuqedeni kuholela ekulawuleni okuphansi kwemizwa. Kungadalwa ukubulala, ukuzibulala noma uze uzilimaze ngezingozi zokuminza noma zokuphuza utshwala. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ingane yakho ingahle ihlangane nokuphuza, akukephuzi kakhulu ukukhuluma ngophuzo oludakayo futhi nikeza ukuholwa nokusekelwa okungcono.