Ukuzithiba nokulawula Ukubekezelelana okuphansi ekukhungathekeni Kuyinto okufanele ifundwe ebuntwaneni nangaphansi kwesiqondiso sabazali. Ingane engakaze ikwazi ukubekezelela ukukhungatheka eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila kwayoCishe uzoba nentukuthelo eningi ezokhula ibe yintukuthelo nentukuthelo njengoba ekhula. Ngeke ayihloniphe imingcele futhi uzozizwa sengathi wonke umuntu uyamphikisa noma uyamhlasela lapho izifiso zakhe nezifiso zakhe zingahlangatshezwanga ngokushesha. Yingakho kubalulekile ukuthi abazali basebenze ekhaya ukuze bakhuthaze ukuzithiba ezinganeni zabo.
Abazali abaningi bathambekele ekucabangeni ukuthi izingane sezithuthuke kakhulu kunalokho eziyikho ngoba bayakhuluma futhi baqondakala kahle. Kepha Iqiniso liwukuthi ubuchopho bezingane abukakhuli ngokugcwele.Ukufunda ngokuzithiba kuyadingeka futhi kungatholakala kuphela ngokuzitholela, ukuzijwayeza, ukuphindaphinda, kanye... umhlahlandlela ohloniphekileHhayi ngesijeziso noma ngentukuthelo. Kuyinqubo ehamba kancane ehlala isikhathi eside ebuntwaneni.
Futhi, Ukuzithiba kuyingxenye ukuhlakanipha kwengqondoKuhilela ukuqaphela lokho umuntu akuzwayo, ukulawula lowo muzwa, nokukhetha ukuziphatha okufanele kakhulu ngomzuzu ngamunye. Izifundo ze-psychology yokukhula zibonise ukuthi izingane ezikwazi ukuhlehlisa ukwaneliseka nokulawula izifiso zazo zivame ukukhombisa, eminyakeni eminingi kamuva, ukulungiswa okungcono komphakathi, impumelelo enkulu yezemfundo, kanye nenhlalakahle enkulu ngokomzweloNgakho-ke, ukusiza izingane ukulawula imizwa yazo nezenzo zazo kuwukutshala imali okuqondile ekusaseni lazo.
Isisekelo ukwethembana
Abazali abasabela ezidingweni zezingane benza kanjalo ngokwakha ukuzethembaUma umntwana elambile futhi evuka ekhala, abazali bayamthatha bamnike ukudla; uma ebanda, bayamsonga; uma esaba, bayamduduza. Ngalezi zenzakalo, umntwana ufunda ukuthi angabathemba abazali bakhe ngoba bayamnakekela futhi bayamvikela. Njalo lapho umzali ethulisa ingane yakhe, ubuchopho bakhe buqinisa imizwa nezindlela ezisiza ukuzolalisa ukukhathazeka nokulawula imizwa.Lokhu kuzomsiza kamuva ukuthi afunde ukuzola. Kuyisisekelo sokuzithiba.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ingane izofunda ukuthemba ukuthi izokwazi ukudla ngesikhathi nokuthi abazali bayo bazoyinika ukulondeka nenduduzo. Lokhu kuzoyisiza ukuthi ithule ukungakwazi kwayo ukubekezela nokukhathazeka nganoma yiziphi izidingo zayo ngoba iyazi ukuthi ngokushesha noma kamuva lezo zidingo zizohlangatshezwa. Abazali basiza izingane zabo ukuthi zifinyelele kulesi sigaba ngokuthulisa ukukhathazeka kwabo nokukhuthaza lowo muzwa wokuphepha nokwamukelwa.Isidalwa esizizwa siphephile ngaphakathi ngeke sibe nesidingo esikhulu sokufuna ukunakwa ngokuziphatha okubi kakhulu futhi sizokwazi ukulinda, ukulalela, nokubambisana.
Lokhu kuqiniseka kuqiniswa futhi yi- ukulalela okusebenzayoUma abantu abadala bebheka ingane emehlweni, bayivumele iqede imisho yayo, futhi ibonise isithakazelo sangempela kulokho ekushoyo, ingane ifunda ukuthi imizwa yayo ibalulekile nokuthi ingayiveza ngaphandle kokwesaba. Lokhu kulalela ngenkuthalo kuyisinyathelo sokuqala ukuze, kamuva, ingane izilalele futhi ilawule ukuziphatha kwayo.
Ngalo mqondo, kubalulekile ukugwema ukunciphisa noma ukuhlekisa ngalokho abakuzwayo: imisho efana nokuthi “akuyona into enkulu kangako” noma “ungakhali ngezinto eziwubuwula” ayisizi ngokuzithiba, ngoba iveza ukuthi imizwa kufanele ifihlwe. Esikhundleni salokho, imiyalezo efana "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi uthukuthele" noma "Ngiyazi ukuthi kuyakuthukuthelisa kakhulu" qinisekisa lokho ingane ekuzwayo bese uyivumela ukuthi isuke ekuthukutheleni ngokomzwelo iye ekuzindleni okuqondisiwe.
Kudingeka isibonelo esihle
Okufundisa izingane ukulawula imizwa yazo futhi zibe nokuzithiba okuhle, ngokungangabazeki, yisibonelo sabazali bazo. Izingane zifunda okuningi kulokho ezikubonayo kunakulokho ezitshelwa khonaUma abazali bengazi ukuthi bangazilawula kanjani imizwa yabo futhi basabele ngentukuthelo, bememeza, noma ngokuthatha ukuziphatha kokwedelela kwengane yabo mathupha, ingane ithola umyalezo ocacile: impilo igcwele izimo eziphuthumayo nezicindezelayo kakhulu, futhi indlela yokusabela iwukulahlekelwa yintukuthelo.
Lo mongo wokukhathazeka okuqhubekayo ulimaza kakhulu ukufunda kwengane ngokomzwelo futhi kwenza kube nzima ngayo ukuhlakulela ukuzola lapho ibhekene nokukhathazeka kwayo nokungazethembi. Into ebaluleke kakhulu abazali abangayenza ukuze sibe yileyo modeli yokuzola nokulawula abafuna ukukubona ezinganeni zabo: ukuphefumula okujulile, ukukhuluma kancane, ukwehlisa izwi labo, nokubonisa ukuthi, ngisho nasezimweni ezinzima, kungenzeka ukukhetha ukuthi uzosabela kanjani.
Isibonelo, uma ingane ithukuthele ngoba ingafuni ukuphuma epaki, umuntu omdala angase azizwe ekhungathekile. Uma bememeza noma besongela, bafundisa ukuthi ukukhungatheka kuxazululwa ngobudlova. Uma, esikhundleni salokho, bethi, "Ngithukuthele, ngizozola ngokuthatha umoya ojulile bese siphinde sikhulume," babonisa indlela yokuzithiba. Lolu hlobo lokumodela lungenye yamathuluzi anamandla kakhulu ukufundisa ukulawula imizwa ngaphandle kwezinkulumo ezinde.
Ibuye isebenziseke kakhulu ukukhuluma ngokuzwakalayo inqubo yakho yangaphakathi"Ngifisa ukuphendula, kodwa ngizobala kuze kube yishumi" noma "Ngifuna ngempela elinye ikhukhi, kodwa ngizolinda kuze kube yisikhathi sokudla okulula." Ngale ndlela, ingane iyabona ukuthi ngisho nabantu abadala banezifiso nezifiso eziqinile, kodwa bangazilawula ngamasu athile.
Ukuzithiba kungenzeka ngenxa yokuthuthuka kobuchopho
Izingane ezincane azikabi nekhono lokumelana nezifiso zazo eziningi lapho zifuna ukwenza okuthile, kodwa njengoba zikhula zizokwazi. Umehluko, ngezinga elikhulu, useku- i-prefrontal cortex, indawo yobuchopho ehilelekile ekuhleleni, ekwenzeni izinqumo nasekulawuleni izifiso, ekhula kancane kancane kusukela ebuntwaneni kuya ebudaleni obusha.
Ngakho-ke i-prefrontal cortex ingaqiniswa kanjani ukuze izingane ezincane zikwazi ukuzithiba? Impendulo ilula: ngokuzijwayeza okuphindaphindiwe, ukudlala, kanye nobudlelwano obuhle nabazali babo.Njalo lapho ingane ima ngaphambi kokumemeza, ilinde ithuba layo emdlalweni, noma ikhetha inketho ehamba kancane kodwa efaneleke kakhulu, izivocavoca ngemijikelezo yobuchopho ehlobene nokuzilawula.
Izifundo zakudala mayelana nokuzithiba kwezingane, njengokuhlolwa kukaWalter Mischel kokulinda ukudla ukuze uthole umvuzo omkhulu, zibonise ukuthi Ikhono lokuhlehlisa ukwaneliseka lihlobene nokuzivumelanisa nezimo kangcono esikhathini esizayoIzingane ezafunda ukulinda ithuba lazo njengoba izingane ezincane zibonise ukusebenza kangcono ezifundweni, ukuphathwa kokucindezeleka okuthuthukisiwe, kanye nezinkinga zokuziphatha ezimbalwa eminyakeni eminingi kamuva. Lokhu akusho ukuthi ikusasa lazo linqunyiwe kusengaphambili, kodwa kunalokho ukuthuthukisa ukuzithiba kusukela ebuntwaneni kunikeza inzuzo enkulu.
Empeleni, uma sisiza ingane ukuba ime, icabange, iphefumule, futhi ikhethe enye impendulo, "siqeqesha" ubuchopho bayo. Lapho lo mjikelezo uphindaphindwa kaningi endaweni esekelayo nenothando, Inqubo yokuziqapha izozenzakalela kakhulu.ngakho-ke, kancane kancane, kuzodingeka isiqondiso esincane sangaphandle ukuze kufezwe lokho.
Zijwayeze, uzijwayeze futhi uzijwayeze
Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi uke wezwa isisho esithi "ukuzijwayeza kwenza kube ngcono," futhi kuyiqiniso. Njalo lapho ingane ikwazi ukuyeka okuthile ngenxa yento eyifunayo kakhulu, yakha izindlela ze-neural ku-cortex yayo engaphambili ezihlotshaniswa nokuzithiba. Uma ingane izizwa iphoqelekile ukuyeka okuthile, lokho akusikho ukuzithiba.Kuwukulalela ngenxa yokwesaba noma ingcindezi yangaphandle.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ingane idela into eyifunayo kodwa ingenalo ithuba lokuzithiba, ngeke kusebenze futhi. Ingane engazithiba yileyo enomgomo (isibonelo, ukuvunyelwa ngunina, ukuqeda umdlalo, noma ukuthola umvuzo wesikhathi esizayo) obaluleke kakhulu kunesifiso sayo esisheshayo (ukudla okumnandi uma kungafanele). Umuntu omdala uyahamba, kodwa isinqumo sokugcina sokulinda kumele sivele kancane kancane kumntwana uqobo..
Indlela ewusizo kakhulu yokukhuthaza lo mkhuba ukufundisa ingane inqubo yangaphakathi elula: ukuzihlola, ukulawula isifiso, kanye nokuziqinisaNgamanye amazwi, ukumsiza ukuthi akwazi:
- Yima isikhashana bese qaphela ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ("Ngithukuthele kakhulu," "Ngifuna ngempela ukugijima").
- Misa isifiso sokuqala (ungashayi, ungamemezi, ungaliphonsi ithoyizi) futhi funa ngengqondo enye indlela.
- Ziqinise lapho uphumelela, ngomcabango onjengokuthi "Ngikwazile ukulinda" noma "Ngenze kahle".
Le nqubo, ekuqaleni edinga isiqondiso esikhulu sabantu abadala, iguquka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ibe ingxoxo yangaphakathi yenganeYilapho ukuzithiba kuba khona ngempela ikhono lomuntu siqu hhayi nje impendulo kulokho abanye abakutshela khona.
Setha imingcele yokuqonda
Njalo uma usetha i- umkhawulo ingane ewamukelayoUzijwayeza ukuzithiba. Kusobala ukuthi izingane zikhetha ukuqhubeka zidlala, kodwa uma azi ukuthi kunemiphumela uma eqhubeka nokungahlanzi, uzophoqeleka ukuthi acabangele izinketho futhi enze ukukhetha. Noma uma edlala endlini yokugezela futhi efafaza yonke into, akudingeki uthukuthele; udinga ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nawe ukuze aqonde ukuthi akulungile nokuthi umqondise ukuthi aziphathe kanjani ngesikhathi sokugeza.
Isijeziso asikhuthazi ukuzikhuza noma ukuzithiba Ngoba ingane ngeke ibe nethuba lokukhetha ukuyeka lokho ebikwenza: uma iphoqwa, ngeke ifunde, izobe izithoba kuphela. Khumbula ukuthi ukuvumela ngaphandle kwemingcele ecacile (olunye uhlangothi lwemali) akukhuthazi ukuzithiba noma ukuzithiba ezinganeni ezincane, ngoba ingane ngeke izizwe idinga ukuyeka. Kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele ngokuqonda, uchaze izizathu ezingemuva kwemithetho, ukuze izingane zikwazi ukuyamukela futhi zihlakulele ukuzithiba okuhle.
Ukuze le mingcele ibe efundisa ngempela, kufanele icace, ibe nemithetho embalwa, ichazwe kahle, futhi ihlale ihambisana nemiphumela ehambisanayo eyaziwa kusengaphambili. Izingane zibambisana kangcono uma zazi ukuthi yini elindeleke kuzo Futhi kuzokwenzekani uma imithetho ingahlonishwa? Yile ndlela esinciphisa ngayo umuzwa wokungabi nabulungisa kanye nokulwa kwamandla okubangela ukuqhuma kwemizwelo.
Kubalulekile futhi Ukulungisa okulindelwe kuye ngobudalaAsinakulindela izinga elifanayo lokuzithiba enganeni encane nelengane endala. Eminyakeni yokuqala, imingcele ihambisana nokusekelwa okuningi ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo (ukuqondisa kabusha, ukubamba, ukunikeza ezinye izindlela). Njengoba bekhula, banganikwa umthwalo wemfanelo owengeziwe kanye nokuhlanganyela okwengeziwe ekudaleni imithetho yomndeni.
Kuyinqubo ehamba kancane, kodwa uma uqhubeka njalo, ungathola imiphumela emihle. Ingane yakho ifuna ukuzizwa ilawula umhlaba wayo, futhi uma uyivumela ukuthi ifinyelele kulolo lawulo ngaphakathi kwemithetho noma imikhawulo oyibekile ekhaya, izozizwa ishukumiseleka kakhulu ukuzilawula nokugcina ukuziphatha okungahileli intukuthelo, ukucasuka, noma ukuziphatha okubi. Kodwa khumbula, Isibonelo sakho nendlela obeka ngayo imingcele yikho konke..
Imidlalo nemisebenzi yokuqeqesha ukuzithiba
Imidlalo yomzimba nokunyakaza
Imidlalo edingayo Misa umzimba, linda isignali Ukushintsha izimpendulo kusiza ekuqeqesheni ukulawula umfutho wemisipha, okubaluleke kakhulu ebuntwaneni, futhi kungapheleliswa ngisho nemisebenzi yokuziqeqesha ngokomzimba efana i-judo yezingane, okufundisa ukuzithiba nenhlonipho.
- Umdlalo wofuduIngane ilala ibheke phansi bese izenza ufudu olucashe egobolondweni lalo. Baqinisa izingalo zabo, imilenze, nentamo imizuzwana embalwa, bese belandela imiyalelo yomuntu omdala, bephuma kancane kancane, bephumula ingxenye ngayinye. Lo msebenzi uqeqesha ukuqwashisa ngomzimba kanye nokuphumula okuqhubekayo.
- Uthisha we-yogaIngane iba "uthisha" futhi inquma ukwelula kancane, ukuvivinya umzimba ngokuphefumula okujulile, noma ukubhucungwa ngezimpaphe noma izinto ezithambile. Ngaphezu kokuphumula, funda ukuphatha ukuzola kwakho kanye nokwabanye.
- Ukukhanya okubomvu, ukukhanya okuluhlaza, "inkukhu" noma "kusho uSimon"Yonke le midlalo idinga ukulalela imiyalelo, ukuma ngokuzumayo, nokushintsha izenzo ngokomyalo. Ilungele ukusebenza ukunaka okuqhubekayo kanye nokuvimbela ukunyakaza komzimba.
- Umdanso OqandisiweKuyadanswa ngenkathi umculo udlala, futhi uma uphela, wonke umuntu kumele aqine njengezithombe. Kuqeqesha ushintsho olusheshayo kusuka ekuphazamisekeni kuya ekuthuleni, into ewusizo kakhulu ekuphileni kwansuku zonke.
- Umjaho womnenkeOwinile ungowokugcina ukufinyelela emgqeni wokugcina, ehamba kancane ngangokunokwenzeka. Ingane kufanele ilawule isifiso semvelo sokugijima futhi lawula ijubane lomzimba wakho.
Imidlalo yokuqonda nokuzindla
Ngaphezu komzimba, kubalulekile ukusebenza ku- ukulawula imicabango nezinqumoEminye imidlalo ewusizo kakhulu yile:
- Imidlalo yebhodi ye-chess ne-turn-basedZisiza ekuthuthukiseni ukuhlela, ukubekezela, ukubekezelela ukukhungatheka, kanye nokwamukela amaphutha. Umdlalo ngamunye udinga cabanga ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo futhi wamukele imiphumela.
- Imidlalo ethi "Hamba / Cha Hamba"Isibonelo, ukusho igama lombala obhalwe ngombala ohlukile, noma ukushaya izandla kabili lapho umuntu omdala eshaya izandla kanye. Le misebenzi iqeqesha Ukulawula ingqondo nokuguquguquka kwengqondo.
- Ukwakhiwa okunemiyaleloUkulandela umklamo isinyathelo ngesinyathelo (amabhlogo, izingxenye zokuhlanganisa) kudinga ukunakwa, inkumbulo esebenzayo, kanye nokumelana nesifiso sokusungula izinto ezintsha. Yilapho umsebenzi wenziwa khona. ukulawula inhibitory kanye nekhono lokulandela iziqondiso.
Izikhala nezinto zokuthula
Ngaphezu kwemidlalo, kuyalulekwa ukunikeza ingane izinsiza ezithile ukusebenzisa uma uzizwa uthukuthele kakhulu noma ukhathazekile.
- Indawo yokuthulaIkona elithule lendlu noma ikilasi elinemicamelo, izilwane ezigcwele izinto, izincwadi, umdwebo ozolile, noma umculo othambile. Chazela ingane ukuthi lena indawo okufanele iye kuyo uma kudingeka. thola ukuthula futhi uzizwe uphephileakuyona indawo yokujeziswa.
- ibhola noma imbiza ezolileIzinto zasekhaya ezithi, uma zinyakaziswa, zibonise ukunyakaza kwesihlabathi, ilayisi, noma i-glitter emanzini. Ukubuka indlela izinhlayiya eziwa ngayo kancane kancane kumema... lawula ukuphefumula futhi wehlise ukusebenza.
- Ibhola lokucindezelekaIbhaluni eligcwele irayisi, amalentili, noma ama-chickpeas ingane engayicindezela uma ithukuthele noma icindezelekile. Kuyindlela elula yokwenza amandla amakhulu esiteshi ngaphandle kokulimaza.
Imisebenzi yemizwa kanye nobuciko
Khuthaza izinzwa kuyasiza ngokufanele ukushintsha kusuka esimweni sokusebenza ngokweqile kuya kwesimo sokuzola.
- SandboxIbhokisi elinesihlabathi esihle namathoyizi amancane. Ingane ingacwilisa iminwe yayo, idwebe izithombe, noma igqibe izinto. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okuthintekayo kukhuthaza... ukuqaphela okwamanje nokuphumula.
- Umculo, izindaba kanye nama-mantraUkulalela imiculo ethambile, izindaba ezilalelwayo, noma imisho emifushane, ephindaphindwayo (ama-mantra) kuvumela ubuchopho gxila ekushukumiseni okunesigqi okunciphisa kancane kancane ukuqina kwemizwelo.
- ubuciko bepulasitiki: ukufaka imibala emidwebweni emikhuluUkudweba noma ukumodela nge-plasticine kusiza ekugxiliseni ingqondo nasekuqondiseni imizwa. lawula ngobuhlakani ukungaziphathi kahle.
Izinsizakusebenza zemizwa: izingathekiso nolimi
Ekugcineni, kubaluleke kakhulu ukufundisa ingane ukuthi ukubeka amagama nezithombe kulokho ozizwayoukuze kuqondwe kangcono futhi kukhethwe izindlela eziningi zokuziphatha ezivumelana nezimo.
- Intaba-mliloKuchaza ukuthi ngaphakathi sifana nentaba-mlilo. Uma sizolile, intaba-mlilo ihlala ngaphakathi; uma sithukuthele kakhulu, intaba-mlilo iyaqhuma. Lesi singathekiso sisiza ukuqonda intukuthelo nokuqhuma kwayo, futhi nixoxe ngalokho okufanele nikwenze ngaphambi kokuthi "kuqhume".
- Ikhekhe ElizolileIkhekhe lidwetshwa lihlukaniswe ngezingcezu, futhi esicezwini ngasinye kubhalwe icebo lokuzola: thatha umoya ojulile, ubale uye eshumini, cabanga ngento emnandi, cela ukwanga… Ngale ndlela, lapho ingane ithukuthele, ingakhetha isingcezu bese khumbula isu elithile.
- Irobhothi elithinta imizwaIrobhothi lidwetshwe ngemibala emithathu, futhi umbala ngamunye uhlotshaniswa nesenzo: obomvu (Ngiyama), ophuzi (Ngicabanga ngalokho engikuzwayo nalokho engingakwenza), oluhlaza (Ngiziphatha ngokuthula). Ngale ndlela, ingane Funda ukubhuleka ngaphambi kokuba usabele.
- Umbiko wesimo sezulu sangaphakathiUkubuza ukuthi "Sinjani isimo sezulu lapho?" kumema ingane ukuthi ixhumanise imizwa yayo nezithombe ezifana nelanga, amafu, noma isiphepho. Lokhu kwenza kube lula ngayo ukuthi veza imizwa yakho ngisho noma engakaluqondi kahle ulimi oluthinta imizwa.
Konke lokhu kuqeqeshwa kudinga ukubambisana phakathi komndeni nesikole, ukubekezela, kanye nokuba khona komuntu omdala okuqinile. Ngenxa yalokho, izingane zithuthukisa ikhono elithonya kahle ubudlelwano bazo, ikhono lazo lokufunda, kanye nenhlalakahle yazo kukho konke ukuphila kwazo. Ukukhuthaza ukuzithiba kusukela ebuntwaneni akusho ukufuna ukuphelela, kodwa kunalokho ukusekela isinyathelo ngasinye esincane phambili ngokuqonda, imingcele ecacile, kanye nomyalezo oqhubekayo wokuthi umuntu angafunda njalo ukusabela ngendlela ehlukile.
