Incwadi yase-Australia ethi Mama Mia muva nje kunaneke impikiswano evele ngaphakathi kwesithangami sabazali iMumsnet. Kubukeka sengathi, omunye umama uthe ushiye ingane yakhe enezinyanga eziyi-10 izele yodwa ekhaya wayothenga okuthathe imizuzu engu-7. Encane yayilele (siyakholwa) kanti isitolo sasikude ngamamitha angu-50. Akukude, kepha njengoba kufanele wehle ngezitebhisi, linda amakheshi noma uma ufika esikhungweni kukhona umuntu othengayo, akekho ozokusindisa ekuguquleni leyo mizuzu engu-7 ibe yi-15; ngakho-ke asikukhuthazi.
Yebo, Eqinisweni asikukhuthazi ukuthi ushiye izingane ezineminyaka engaphansi kwengu-12 zodwa, kodwa wazi ama-nuances alesi seluleko, funda le post yethu. Njengoba kunengqondo, abanye abasebenzisi be-Intanethi balomama othembekile banikeze umbono wabo zisuka nje: kwabanye bekunganaki kakhulu, abanye bethi lesi senzo kuvele ukuthi siyingozi kakhulu; yize bekufundwa namazwi ephakamisa ukuthi ukugeza noma ukufundwa kwengadi, bekufana. Ake sibone, okufanayo, okufanayo akunjalo.
Akusikho ukuthi eshaweni ungaba nenkinga, uphule umlenze (haha! Nginehaba) futhi uthathe isikhathi sokuya ekukhaleni kwengane evuka ngaleso sikhathi (yebo, zihlala zivuka lapho wena ufuna ukushaya ucingo, uvule umagazini noma uye endlini yangasese: kuyiqiniso). Kepha ukuthi ukuphuma emgwaqweni kusho ibanga lesikhala sesikhathi eseqile. Bengizoyilengisa ingane esikhafu, noma ngiyilinde ivuke, noma ifike umuntu ekhaya (ukuvakasha noma ukubuya emsebenzini), njll. Kepha bengingeke ngishiye ingane ezethembayo endlini evaliwe, empeleni angizange ngishiye lapho izingane zami zisencane.
Wedwa futhi ungavikelekile, ngani? Ake sibheke ukuthi ngiyichaza kanjani: kwasekuqaleni kunentuthuko yezimoto uqobo ezinyangeni eziyishumi, kuya ngokuthi ingane ilele kuphi, lapho ivuka ingaphenduka iqale ukukhasa; ungathola futhi izinto ezincane, uzibambe bese uzibeka emlonyeni wakho, kubangela ukuminyana. Yini engihlala ngiyicabanga okubi kakhulu? Ngizocabanga ngesimo esingesihle neze: uyavuka angakuboni futhi akhale noma amemeze, lapho ebheka ukuthi awusondeli yini uyakhala noma amemeze kakhulu. Angazi ukuthi kunesidingo sini sokubangela leyo ngcindezi entombazaneni noma kumfana.
Izingane zidinga ukunakwa njalo.
Ungesabi ukuyiboleka, ukwazi, ukunikeza uthando nokushisa komzimba uma bekudinga, uma bekucela. Kulokhu okuthunyelwe mayelana nokuqothulwa Sichaze ubulula bokuthi "sibaphathe" ezandleni zethu phakathi nezinyanga eziyi-9 zokuqala zokuphila kwabo; Futhi akukhona ukuthi ngihlose ukuthi ugcine unezinhlungu eqolo, futhi ungazibeka phansi, usebenzise imoto kancane, zikusize zikuthwale. Kungumqondo ojwayelekile engifuna uhlale nawo, futhi yebo: Ngiyazi ukuthi ngithatha into eyisikhombisa eyedlulele ngokweqile ... Ngicabanga ukuthi ubaba noma umama kuzofanele asheshe aphume amshiye yedwa embhedeni noma embhedeni.
Okuthile okunjengokuthi: "O, ulele futhi kufanele ngiye esikoleni esisezansi komgwaqo ukuze ngithole omdala kunabo bonke!"; noma “Ngizosizakala ngokuthi uthatha isihlwathi bese ehlela ekhemisi ngoba ikhanda lami libuhlungu”; noma “yeka ukuthi ulambe kangakanani futhi akukho lutho lokudla! Ngenhlanhla isitolo esikhulu sesiseduze! " Ngasikhathi sinye, angikaziboni njengezimo ezimbi kakhulu ukuze ungathathi ingane ngemuva kwakho, njengesilwane esincelisayo.
Izinhlelo zakho zingahamba kabi.
Kusuka kumaqiniso alula afana nerobhothi ("kimi ukuthi namuhla sekukhishiwe emthethweni, kuthatha isikhathi eside ukuba luhlaza"), noma umngane osindayo noma ngabe ungathi "ungangijabulisi namuhla, ngicela" futhi fulathela, ikulandele. Futhi ukucabanga engikushilo ekuqaleni. Ngisho nezingozi zalabo esibacabanga labo esibona abaningi bezenzo noma ama-movie wamaphoyisa, njengokuthi 'ujija iqakala lakho futhi kunzima kuwe ukufika ekhaya'.
Ngiyazi ukuthi le ndlela yeqise ngokweqile kuye ngokuthi uyibuka kanjani, kepha namanje angisiqondi isidingo sokushiya ingane yodwa, ufuna ngikutshele ini?
Ukukhulisa nokufuna usizo.
Ukuthi akuyona inkululeko ukufuna ubisi njengale ntokazi echaze ulwazi lwayo kwiMumsnet, kodwa ey. Angingabazi ukuthi bonke omama, bonke obaba bayazithanda izingane zabo futhi bafuna ukuzivikela; Lokhu akunembile, ngoba lapho umzali ehlukumeza ingane ephindelela futhi ngenhloso, angingabazi ukuthi iyayithanda; Kunoma ikuphi, iningi lethu alifakiwe lapho. Yize singenza izinto kangcono kunathi, futhi hhayi kakhulu ngenxa yendlela "yokulinga nephutha" (ngoba ngeke wenze ngamabomu amaphutha nengane ukuze ifunde ukukhulisa), kepha ngokuhlola ubungozi bezinqumo , futhi kukho konke ukucabanga ngaphambilini imiphumela engaba khona. Ukukhumbula: lapho senza izinqumo, masicabange nangomntwana, hhayi ngathi kuphela!
Omama nobaba kwesinye isikhathi sizizwa sisodwa futhi sikhungathekile, futhi empeleni Ngikholwa ukuthi amahora ayahamba kanti omunye umuntu 'akasakwazi ukulinda ukuphuma ayofuna amakhukhi noma amazambane'; Kepha ngicabanga ukuthi umbuzo ozophakanyiswa lapha yisidingo sokubuyela emuva kancane bese senza imiphakathi futhi sisekele amanethiwekhi omama futhi. Ngamanye amagama, akunjalo kangako ukuthethelela ukungapheleli kwethu futhi siqinisekisa ukuthi “akunandaba, bheka, usushiye ngokuphelele futhi ubuyile akwenzekanga lutho”, kodwa kunalokho ukuqonda indima abadala ekukhuliseni futhi bafune usizo. Lokhu kuyindida, ngoba kunezikhathi lapho noma ungabheka ungeke uzithole: singabantu abazimele, asibakhathaleli abanye ngaphandle kokuthi kwenzeke okuthile okubi kubo, sichitha amahora amaningi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana futhi asazi umakhelwane uhlinzwe, wanezelwa ngokuqhubekayo.
Shiya ingane yodwa ekhaya? akunakwenzeka!
E-Australia akukho mithetho ehlanganisiwe yokuthi kuvunyelwe noma cha ukushiya izingane zodwa ekhaya, izwe ngalinye linemithetho yalo (nezinhlawulo zokungathobeli). Ngale kwesigwebo, ngiyanxusa ukuba ngibe nesibopho, futhi ngiyakhumbula ukuthi kuyakusiza yini lokho inhlangano yaseBrithani i-NSPCC ihlukanisiwe futhi yeluleka ngokuncisha izingane nezingane ezincane ukuba khona kwabantu abadala.
Sengikutshelile umbono wami, ucabangani?
Isithombe - (Okwesibili) URick Douglas Art
Nginengane enezinyanga eziyi-9 ubudala futhi anginaso isibindi sokuyishiya yodwa izothula udoti. Kwesinye isikhathi ngizitshela ukuthi ngiyihaba, ukuthi ulele ngeke akuthole, ukuthi umzuzu omfishane, kodwa ekugcineni angikwazi. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngingahle ngishayiswe yimoto ngenkathi ngiwela endaweni yokulahla inkunkuma, noma esinye isihluku esingenakwenzeka, bese ngihlala ekhaya.
Sawubona Barbara, ngiyabonga ngokusitshela ngolwazi lwakho. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi izinhlekelele azivamile, kepha uma sikwazi ukuzinqanda zizoba zincane kakhulu. Kubonakala kungokwemvelo kakhulu ukuhamba nezinsana ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi futhi kuyisidingo sokuthi omama babekhona, lokho akunakuphikwa.
A ukubingelela.